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zuzy

To file disputed EBOR or not

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Not being around to witness the boy's behavior at camp, I'm inclined to believe that a teenager who has decided to leave da troop after some struggles with the adults might have behaved a bit like a teenager.   ;)  Given the history and the lad's Aspergers, it's also not hard to imagine the adults not respondin' well to their perceptions of "attitude", so by no means is it all on him, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't learn from his side.

 

So I'm thinkin' that there's stuff for the boy to still grow from, and workin' with a new set of boys and adults without "history" is a grand opportunity to help him face some of that and keep learning.    I think he'll value Eagle and Scoutin' more if you give him that challenge.  "Hey, some of it is on Mr. Old Scoutmaster, but some of it is on you, son.  If you're going to really be an Eagle, you should show that you can be outstanding in your new troop, even though you're likely to have disagreements there, too."

What you are inclined to believe is not necessarily what is going on in another troop, or with another SM or Scout. That is one of the problems in this forum. People give advice based on what they think the facts REALLY are, regardless of what is said by the one person who actually knows the facts. Now, that person is of course subject to all of the normal human failings in perceiving and reporting facts and in overcoming biases that one (including me) is always subject to when reporting information about one's own child. But it doesn't change the fact that we don't really help a member of the forum when we advise them based on facts we make up.

 

My vote is still for the new troop.  I like lads to spend their energy building up themselves and others rather than being disputatious.

Going to a new troop is fine. Trying to make Eagle in the new troop may be a different story. Others (primarily CalicoPenn) have pointed out some of the pitfalls. When I put myself in the place of a SM greeting a new Scout in the troop who immediately (or soon after) wants signoffs for Eagle, it gives me great pause. If I were that SM I would advise the Scout to talk to the District Advancement Chair. This is the exact situation that the "disputed circumstances" procedure was made for. I think it should at least be explored.

Edited by NJCubScouter
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What you are inclined to believe is not necessarily what is going on in another troop, or with another SM or Scout. That is one of the problems in this forum. People give advice based on what they think the facts REALLY are, regardless of what is said by the one person who actually knows the facts. 

 

Yah, hmmm...  Thanks for da thread merger, @@NJCubScouter.

 

@@zuzy wasn't at camp, so all we're gettin' are hearsay second-hand reports.  I reckon even if we deposed all of the lads and adults at camp we'd have a whole mess of conflicting opinions about what was goin' on.   After a lot of work we might get down to there being good evidence that SM grumped at da SPL on Wednesday, that SPL mouthed off once on Thursday, etc.   Those things are "facts", but are they useful?

 

This isn't a problem of internet forums, it's da reality of Scouting in the real world.  Even if we were sittin' there watching events ourselves we might see different things, eh?  We work with what we've got, and we use our experience and judgment as best we can.  You think tryin' to make Eagle in the new troop might be an issue, but there aren't any "facts" to support that, eh?  Not even a hint of it from @@zuzy.  Just your thoughts and experiences... and that's fine!  Your thoughts and experience are valuable.

 

Hopefully along the way lots of caring folks with experience give @@zuzy some different perspectives to consider, some ideas to think about... and then she and her son will do the best they can.  

 

That's how forums are helpful, eh?  Not by providin' a "right" answer based on "facts", but by providin' options and different ways of lookin' at things based on experience.

 

Beavah

Edited by Beavah

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If you want to know how a "disputed circumstances EBOR" is going to work out in the end, you need to talk to your District Executive or our council's Scout Executive.  Nobody here is going to be able to answer that, because nobody here is under your Council's reporting structure or knows the people involved.

 

 

At the end of the day, Zuzy, you need to fish or cut bait.  Either your son goes the "disputed circumstances" route and then goes to a new troop, or he goes to a new troop and finishes up his Eagle there.  Pick one, and let us know how it turns out.

Edited by MrBob

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