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Bloop

Parent Raging At A Scout

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Family nights seem to work better when the camp controls the herd. Limit families to a specified area - say the parade ground and campfire ring. No running up to a campsite to drop-off stuff or getting a camp tour. My preference would be for scout to sit with their unit at campfire, but somehow the umbilical gets re-attached.

 

Sorry this happened. Safety is job 1 and that includes keeping the sparks away from the gunpowder.

 

My $0.02

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Why don't a few adults just sit down with her and have a pleasant chat with her to find out what happen. Everyone has a bad day. If this is just one bad day, sheesh we should all be fired. We have asked parents (and leaders) to stay from scouts, but they were guilty of several incidents. 

 

Barry

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Giving her a suspension sounds appropriate, but I wouldn't involve the committee.  Just do it, and the committee can talk about it later.  The end result of this might be good for the troop.  If the Scout's behavior was poor, it might be indicative of actions by other Scouts (I wouldn't pretend to guess that here), and this provides an opportunity to address how Scouts should behave.  It also provides an opportunity to discuss among the adults how they are expected to behave.  There's almost always an opportunity to make something positive come out of a negative experience.  Find ways to make that happen. 

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I think Barry has a good idea.  This needs to be handled by the Committee Chairman and Chartered Organization Representation.  The full committee doesn't need to be involved.  And I think Barry is right, too. A friendly chat is better than a subpoena. But unless the woman's explanation brings significant new information to light, she needs to take a break from the troop. 

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 I had originally thought that this mom was a leader or CM from the troop. Since she's not that does change it a little bit. But let's look at this a little closer. First off mom is gone from scout activities (two years at least). Second if this boy was such a pain in the butt all week why was he still in camp on Friday night? I have been in charge of summer camp for 20 years as both ASM and SM and every once in awhile would run into one of these kind of kids, he's not homesick (which is a different matter altogther) he just doesn't want to be there. Since he doesn't want to have a good time he is going to make sure nobody else does either. You want to let one bad apple spoil the bushel? Be my guest but I have 20 or more other kids that are there to have a good time including me. The needs of the many out weight the poor attitude of the one. First I let his tentmate, PL, or SPL try and fix the problem if by Tues. morning that hasn't worked then it is time for a SMC. Talk in a nutshell, either chill out and stop being a pain or I'm calling mom and dad to come and get you. After that the boy suddenly makes a 360 and he and the troop have a great week. Never had to send a kid home, and never had to spend a full week with a pain in the butt either.

 

  Take another look at it, mom's son couldn't get this kid to lighten up, other scouts in the troop couldn't do anything, heck the adult leaders didn't do anything either. So come Friday he went to the one person he KNEW would do something mom. As far as mom is concerned good day, bad day, that day sorry just no excuse for what she did. There are only two people in this world that I would allow to yell and talk like that to my son, my wife and myself, and sure as hell I'm not going to do it in front of an audience.

 

   Now down the road are the other scouts going to remember this week as the first time they shot a bulls eye in archery, got back into their swamped canoe, carved a kneckerchief slide? The first and main thing they will remember is Johnny's mom flipping out on Steve. The 20 nor 30 minutes that this may have taken place just ruined an entire week. As Stosh said this is an adult verbally abusing a youngster. Sorry just no excuse whatsever for that.

 

  Oh and family nights suck and have no place at Boy Scout summer camp!!!

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<<

Why don't a few adults just sit down with her and have a pleasant chat with her to find out what happen. Everyone has a bad day. If this is just one bad day, sheesh we should all be fired. We have asked parents (and leaders) to stay from scouts, but they were guilty of several incidents. 

 

Barry>>

 

 

 

I agree with this.  Also,  where were the Scoutmaster as AS during the week?

 

 

While the parent was out of line,  ignoring the problem of a badly behaving Scout all week was the crux of the problem.

 

"One bad Scout will cause five good Scouts to quit Scouting"  That's a good rule of thumb.  Might cause a few adults to quit,  too.

 

 

The idea of kicking out the adult while the badly behaved cause of the problem CONTINUES to be ignored doesn't sound right to me.

 

Start with a conversation with the offending adult,  and then continue with a conversation with the Scoutmaster about this situation.  What does he have to say for himself?

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A gigantic meeting is grandstanding and unnecessary, and will become a circus when half the parents that show up are actually on Grizzly Mama's side.  It's just ill advised.

 

obviously mom needs a timeout and the troop (boys and adults) need to see that behavior like that will not go unaddressed.  And rude boy prob needs to be counseled in some way too but that probably should have happened during camp.  So no excuses all around.  That said, if a gigantic meeting is ill advised because there may be parents that are on crazy mom's side...well, then there might be some truth to her complaint about how the troop handles bad behavior.  So my advice to the OP would be to have a good self-examination of the troop (after the camp issue is dealt with)...seems like something the PLC should tackle at their next meeting

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I think Barry has a good idea.  This needs to be handled by the Committee Chairman and Chartered Organization Representation.  The full committee doesn't need to be involved.  And I think Barry is right, too. A friendly chat is better than a subpoena. But unless the woman's explanation brings significant new information to light, she needs to take a break from the troop. 

 

That would be all fine and good IF THE WOMAN WAS A REGISTERED SCOUTER, which she is not.  What authority do the CC and COR have over a non-registered parent?

 

The best they can do is forbid her to attend activities concerning her son.  Right, that's not gonna wash.

 

As far as this situation is concerned no one can really do anything about what happened.  The best they can do is punish the dad and scout by not allowing them in the program forcing them to go elsewhere, but then they didn't do anything wrong.

 

When the smoke settles, NOTHING WILL BE DONE because nothing can be done.

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Darn it.  Just ran 3 inches of water in the tub, and couldn't walk across it.  I guess I have nothing to say.

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I guess any leniency given the boy is due to a long custody situation that just had a dramatic ruling. Again, no major act on his part, just generalized grumpiness and an uncooperative nature. But it seems all the boys know he has "stuff going on at home."

 

I was away one night for an OA event but parent has approached me that it was "parent ice cream night" - geeze - Mom had a run in with the boy over her precious snowflake. Not nearly on this scale but she (reportedly) was unfair and inappropriate then too. Had it been mentioned sooner, her butt wouldn't have been near camp. She was waiting to snap on him.

Edited by Bloop

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I guess any leniency given the boy is due to a long custody situation that just had a dramatic ruling. Again, no major act on his part, just generalized grumpiness and an uncooperative nature. But it seems all the boys know he has "stuff going on at home."

 

I was away one night for an OA event but parent has approached me that it was "parent ice cream night" - geeze - Mom had a run in with the boy over her precious snowflake. Not nearly on this scale but she (reportedly) was unfair and inappropriate then too. Had it been mentioned sooner, her butt wouldn't have been near camp. She was waiting to snap on him.

 

Ooooh, the thot plickens, now we have reports she was stalking him to harangue him.  

 

If I was SM, I'd be helping dad find a new troop for his wife's vendettas.  Scouting has no place for such people.

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Why don't a few adults just sit down with her and have a pleasant chat with her to find out what happen. Everyone has a bad day. If this is just one bad day, sheesh we should all be fired. We have asked parents (and leaders) to stay from scouts, but they were guilty of several incidents. 

 

Barry

 

  What is this? This mom, parent, adult just verbally abused, bullied, and swore at one of the scouts in the troop (not her own) in front of all the troop members at camp. BAD DAY? Even on my worst day I would never do something as wrong and immature as this. Nobody pushes my buttons but me and sure as anything not some little kid. What if the next time she steps it up and goes from verbal abuse to physical? Can't happen well I witnessed it first hand at summer camp on family night. There was some yelling going on in the site next to ours, my ASM and I went to take a look. As we entered the site there's this mom yelling at a scout and holding another scouts hand. When the scout she was yelling out turned his back and started walking away she let go of the ones hand and grabbed the other by the shoulders and turned him around to yell in his face some more. My ASM and I immediatly went and broke it up, she looked at me and said what the hell are you doing? I looked her right in the eye and said if the scouts own leaders won't protect him I will. The ASM took the other boy to our site to chill and relax. Spent the rest of the night having to write down what we had witnessed and what we had done. Know what the whole thing was over. The two boys were tent mates and the other boy would not let her son hang his wet clothes on the rope that the other had. Can you believe it!!

 

  Sure there are certain things that can be worked out and talked about, but abuse is one line drawn in the sand, cross it and your done.

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Darn it.  Just ran 3 inches of water in the tub, and couldn't walk across it.  I guess I have nothing to say.

 

 Neither could I. But that doesn't keep me from knowing what is right or wrong. Walking on water or not this mother was WRONG.

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That would be all fine and good IF THE WOMAN WAS A REGISTERED SCOUTER, which she is not.  What authority do the CC and COR have over a non-registered parent?

 

The best they can do is forbid her to attend activities concerning her son.  Right, that's not gonna wash.

 

As far as this situation is concerned no one can really do anything about what happened.  The best they can do is punish the dad and scout by not allowing them in the program forcing them to go elsewhere, but then they didn't do anything wrong.

 

When the smoke settles, NOTHING WILL BE DONE because nothing can be done.

 

Stosh -- over the years you've written here a hundred times the SM handles the Scouts, the CC handles the adults.  What's changed?

 

I like Old Stosh's approach.  This is an adult problem to be dealt with by the CC.  The CC needs backup and the COR is as good as any.  Between the two of them, the have as much authority as they need to deal with the situation.  A stranger wanders into a troop meeting off the street and we don't have authority to deal with it?  Of course we do. That this mom isn't registered makes no difference.

 

And don't buy the "open to all parents" argument, either.  I've been down that road.  We had a father causing problems for the troop.  We talked with him multiple times, asked him to back off, suggested he find another outlet for his volunteer time, then told him flat out he was no longer welcome.  He pulls out his BSA Lawyer license and trots out the "open to all parents" rule.  Fine.  We dismissed him and his son.  The COR can play that card.  Hated to do it, the kid was a good Scout.  But the parent wouldn't agree to the conditions the troop set, so.....

Edited by Twocubdad
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 Neither could I. But that doesn't keep me from knowing what is right or wrong. Walking on water or not this mother was WRONG.

 

 Neither could I. But that doesn't keep me from knowing what is right or wrong. Walking on water or not this mother was WRONG.

I figured there was more to the story.  Not defending the woman at all, but saying we're all subject to doing or saying imprudent things. 

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