Engineer61 19 Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I about fell out of my chair reading this... http://finance.yahoo.com/news/the-most-annoying--pretentious-and-useless-business-jargon.html?mod=pf-series-a-article Link to post Share on other sites
Lisabob 13 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 So what the heck is a tiger team? I wasn't sure if maybe it had something to do with cub scouting? One of my favorite pieces of useless jargon - I work with a fellow who always needs to "circle back" on things. We have all come to understand that this means he intends to ignore or forget about the problem being discussed, and he hopes we will, too. Link to post Share on other sites
CA_Scouter 11 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Terms to add: STAKEHOLDERS - this is simply the people who are interested in your project THE ENTERPRISE - No, not Captain Kirk's vessel, this is your company. PRODUCT CHAMPION - the guy who requested the project Link to post Share on other sites
Tampa Turtle 1011 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Calling scouts "Our Customers". Just last night I heard "we are not filling the recreational needs of our first customers". I said "you mean the boys needs to have more fun?". Link to post Share on other sites
Engineer61 19 Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 A tiger team is a group of experts assigned to investigate and/or solve technical or systemic problems. -Wikipedia.org Link to post Share on other sites
packsaddle 753 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I thought it had something to do with what happened on 9 January. Link to post Share on other sites
JMHawkins 15 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Hmmm, well, it would be funnier if the folks writing it weren't a little clueless about some of the things they're bemoaning. For example: Core Competency...Do people talk about peripheral competency? Being competent is not the standard were seeking. Its like core mediocrity. Oh, being competent is a fine standard to seek. Organizatons that are "merely competent" in the fundamental activities necessary to their function tend to succeed. Organizations that don't know what fundamental activities they need to be at least competent in are likely to fail. And a "Management Professor" who thinks competency is the same as mediocrity isn't paying attention to how much incompetence exists in business today. Buy-in...Asking for someones buy-in says, I have an idea. I didnt involve you because I didnt value you enough to discuss it with you. I want you to embrace it as if you were in on it from the beginning, because that would make me feel really good. No, actually, asking for someone's buy-in is saying "I have an idea and your support is important to me. What do I need to do to get your support?" Or, in other circumstances, it can be a leader saying "this is what we're doing and we need everybody to support it. Either support the program or go elsewhere." Certainly not a pleasant directive, but there are times when it's the right thing for a leader to do. Lots of Moving Parts Pinball machines have lots of moving parts. Many of them buzz and clank and induce migraine headaches. Do you want your business to run, or even appear to run, like a pinball machine? Then do not say it involves lots of moving parts. Ah, but if your business is already running like a pinball machine and you'd like to communicate that problem needs to be fixed, you might say "lots of moving parts here folks... we need to cut down on the chaos." Boil the Ocean This means to waste time. The thinking here, we suppose, is that boiling the ocean would take a long time. BZZZZ! Wrong. "Boil the Ocean" doesn't mean to wast time, it means a plan that requires more resources than the company could possibly devote to it. It's a plan that's unworkable because it's too big. Punt In football, to punt means to willingly (if regretfully) kick the ball to the other team to control your teams position on the field. In business it means to give up on an idea, or to make it less of a priority at the moment. In language as in life, punt too often and youll never score. And to go for it on 4th and 20 deep in your own territory means the other team will probably score and put you in an even deeper hole. Punting is a very usefull tool. It lets you focus on your priorities. But I guess the article just highlights the real problem with jargon - people using it when they don't know what it means. Some of those people are business professors at fancypants universities... Link to post Share on other sites
Tampa Turtle 1011 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Hawkins, I think most of the folks here understand the terms but they are used so much and so poorly they become hackneyed. Don't confuse dislike for jargon as ignorance. Link to post Share on other sites
Engineer61 19 Posted February 2, 2012 Author Share Posted February 2, 2012 Personally, my experience is that most of these terms are expressed by management in an effort to either intimidate those inside the organization or impress those outside of it. Another of my favorites has always been "Going Forward". Like what, we're going to go back in time...did we invent the Flux Capacitor? And yes, I've heard Boil the Ocean to mean to waste time. For hopelessly large tasks, we've used "Raise the Titanic". For hopelessly long tasks, "Find Jimmy Hoffa". I composed a little memo... From: The Big Boss To: The Mindless Minions In an effort to congeal a cohesive set of best practices for our core competencies, staff will be forming a cross functional synergistic tiger team. While it is typical for teams of this nature to boil the ocean; management has directed this team to engage with key stakeholders and perform a deep dive to data mine for inefficiencies that are negatively impacting our best practices. By empowering the team to think outside the box, management hopes they will get buy-in to leverage the corporate values thereby establishing a set of scalable learnings that will reach out to our key customers with a robust vertical core value set. Link to post Share on other sites
Tampa Turtle 1011 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I have a rule of thumb: The first time I hear the words "matrix management" out of the mouth of a manager I know we are hosed. Link to post Share on other sites
JMHawkins 15 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I think most of the folks here understand the terms but they are used so much and so poorly they become hackneyed. Don't confuse dislike for jargon as ignorance. Oh, yeah, the folks here. I was referring to the author and his sources. Personally, my experience is that most of these terms are expressed by management in an effort to either intimidate those inside the organization or impress those outside of it. Y'know, now that you mention it, I think jargon starts out as colorful but useful descriptions of something (e.g. "lots of moving parts here") used by people who know what's going on. but gradually they get picked up by the clueless, at which point things degenerate into drivel. From the article, it sounded like the professors thought "lots of moving parts" was a positive description. Other bits of jargon are invented by the clueless in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Tampa Turtle 1011 Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 Jargon is interesting to pick up especially from outside ones area. I like british one --ie "spanner in the works", etc just to spice things up. When I was at a University my unit was a multi-disciplinary one and one of my favorite memories was the different graduate assistants (geography, biology, engineering, anthropology, art) teach each other their respective buzz words to impress a girl at a party. ("drop Biomass in once" said the biologist, "say the room wants to be open" said the architect "trust me".) It was a lot of fun. I find because of Scouter I use a lot more scout jargon with the other ASM's and it gives the false impression that I know more than I do. Link to post Share on other sites
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