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I think this sums it all up.....

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Bill of Non-Rights


We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, and delusional.


We hold these truths to be self-evident: That a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.



You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.


You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone, not just you. You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots and probably always will be.


You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful. Do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.


You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need. But we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generations of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.


You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in government-run health care.


You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.


You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.


You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.


You don't have the right to a job. All of us want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times. But we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.


You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness -- which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

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Gee, that is hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing.


You know... real polls have been done showing that average Americans when askeed about the Bill of Rights, disagree with about 60% of it!!!


Think about it.


And God help you if you ever become disabled, can't afford your health insurance, need to go on Medicare, have a parent with Alzheimer's and then needs long term living assistance, etc. etc. etc.


I have a better idea. Let's just give Corporate America all the power and get rid of all of these cumbersome rules that inhibit productivity. (Review your American history- we tried that in the 1880's, they weren't called robber barons for nothing). The rich and powerful who make all the rules anyway can take all of the wealth of this country and keep it for themselves. (They already do for the most part). The rest of us can just slug it out for the crumbs that are left.(This message has been edited by boleta)

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Not really sure of your tone or your point.


And, . . . I think . . ., you missed 3 people on your way to insulting everyone in the nation, whether you actually intended it or not. I couldn't think of anyone who always fit into your "OUR" category, or anyone who never fit into your "YOUR" category.


I'm wondering if posters will ignore this or give you the multi-page divisive argument for which you seem to be begging.


Have fun,

(though I'd rather you didn't do it at my expense),


jd(This message has been edited by johndaigler)

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Actually, as opposed to saying, "Nobody will agree with all of this" I prefer to say "Everyone will agree with part of this." I know there were parts that made me cringe a bit and parts that made me laugh. But I think it was all in good fun.

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With exception to Article VIII, I had no problem with the list. One can argue that he was describing Hitler and Mussolini. We may not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat. Yet, we have much more to lose than most, if we dont try to restrain their power and influence over the rest of the world. If we think we can wait for bigger threats before we react, we will do so at a much greater cost. I dont like the sacrifices being made, but I appreciate the fact that without such sacrifices, we would not be a free people.


Otherwise, I enjoyed that list very much.

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You have that Whoopee cushion kind of humor that so few find amusing these days. How about a spy glass that can look right through clothing, a bubblegum snapper, or a hand buzzer? I'll bet you have a tie lifter or a flower that squirts. I raise a fake glass of liquid to you.



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Are you a fan od Dave Barry?


He has a very funny Bill of Rights in his book: Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States of America.


Remember in 1812 Francis Scott Key wrote down the words that strike pride and honor in every american... Take me out to the ball game......

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I think you need to trot over to the University Book Store...Francis Scott Key penned 'One Hundred bottles of Beer on the Wall' in 1812 (using a well know British beer drinking song...He didn't write "Take Me out to the Ball Game" until the eve of the 1822 World Series, when the Georgia Plow Dogs lost in extra innings to the New York Bankers)

Has the U stopped teaching History or what?



But I believe fairness...if you can't insult everyone, insult no one!

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Dan, Dan, Dan, . . .


Your comment's target was obvious.


Apparently, mine wasn't!


Purcelce's post (I think it's pretty obvious he lifted that from elsewhere, but if you post it, you claim it!) insulted and complained about 80% of the nation. People who disagree with him are apparently idiots. But, I'm the one with the thin skin??? My bad!


Actually, my skin is terribly thick - that's why I said what I said, and why I'm gonna say what I'm gonna say.


Purcelce's sophmoric posting used humor to degrade and debase others. Sure, it was funny - like Howard Stern is funny. I saw the humor - I just try not to let that be my level of humor. Atleast, not too often!!!


Do you let your Scouts make fun of others who wear clothes that are different??

Do you let your Scouts make fun of others who are economically challenged??

Do you let them call people who disagree with them "idiots"??


Sounds like Hazing to me. And, no, it doesn't matter that it was aimed out there into space, and no specific Scout or Scouter was targeted. Humor like that brings us all down to our basest levels. And, if you read all the posts you can see what's happening -- "I agree..." It worries me - so I said something. What's next? Blonde jokes? Pole jokes? Jew jokes? Cub families who can't afford uniform parts jokes?? Strangers who we've never met, but luckily, can judge based on their religion or sexual orientation jokes?


I think it was a bad choice by purcelce to post that junk. He has the right to, and I have the right to respond. You? What did you bring to the table? Name-calling. Hey, thanks, we appreciate the contribute! If you really want to give purcelce's post some value, re-read Article II. Maybe it really is funny - or appropriate - or . . .


There are a lot of ways to be funny. Should we let "humor" be a shield for words that are hurtful and divisive? I won't. But, then again, maybe I'm just thin-skinned.



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