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Well don't all our sons have something else to do, like homework and music practice, etc?

Sounds like you need to say "Yes, I know a lot of the boys have homework and music practice to get done. The sooner we get things cleaned up, the sooner we can all leave. I think I hear your patrol calling you."

 

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I would have a frank discussion with the parent, since this seems to be a chronic problem...I agree with one post that recommends Dad stay home. Inform them that the Scout's responsibilities to his patrol end when you arrive back in the parking lot to be picked up and all of the gear is clean and put away...and if he "needs" to leave early, then perhaps he is too busy to participate and should take the whole weekend to practice his instrument. Also, to follow up someone else's idea, I would "coach" the PL that if "Johnny" is expected to leave early, then the "Duty Roster" needs to reflect that and make sure Johnny has a fair share to do before he leaves. ("You have breakfast cleanup on Sunday morning...if you can't do that, then you need to trade jobs with someone else."...and let the boys work out what they think is fair.)

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We had this problem - slightly different - as we have a troop bus and all travel together. But we were finding that boys were leaving as soon as the bus arrived back at church, leaving a few to unload and clean the bus. this caused additional work - as often after long trips the buss was a mess and someone had to bring it back or leave it at the church and we would waste a monday meeting night cleaning the bus. Then too - by cleaning on Monday, boys who didn't even go on the outing got stuck cleaning, and some who went on the campout would deliberatly skip that meeting, as they knew it would be spent cleaning!

 

but we solved it (mostly) this way -

 

When our troop gives out flyers for a trip, they now state the time and place of departure and return and include the phrase "all boys are expected to stay until the bus is unloaded and all equipment cared for or returned to the Quartermaster."

 

This same announcement was made at meetings until it became habit. Boys must talk to the SM or SPL if they have a reason to leave early or arrive late.

If someone knows they must leave early for an appointment, family event or something, (which DOES happen, but not as early in the day as your Dad/son duo!) they are assigned duties to cover. Maybe their tent gets taken down and put in the bus before breakfast - and there's always a few things you are done with that they can pack up the first thing in the AM.

 

that being said, Sometimes people HAVE to leave early, or arrive late. Luckily most of our people carry their weight and we don't have too many moochers. (with My troop, we have enough OTHER problems!)

 

Maybe the next time they leave early, you should just ask them - "So, What time should I drop off all the tents to be aired out and cleaned? that's Johnny's job this weekend!"

 

Good luck!

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a tip of the hat and scout salute to accu40. I agree whole heartedly that this is not the scoutmaster's problem. this is a patrol paroblem, which the scoutmaster can help counsel the atrol Leader on how to handle IF the PL asks for help. as leaders our job is to train the junior leaders. I would strongly recommend that a SM not get his dander up over a scout in a patrol leaving early regardless of what his reason is. if the patrol continues to function and the patrol leader is not concerned then there is no reason for the SM to be concerned. Focus on training the patrol leaders on how to build teamwork and how to know and understand the needs and characteristics of his patrol members. BW

 

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a tip of the hat and scout salute to accu40. I agree whole heartedly that this is not the scoutmaster's problem. this is a patrol paroblem, which the scoutmaster can help counsel the atrol Leader on how to handle IF the PL asks for help. as leaders our job is to train the junior leaders. I would strongly recommend that a SM not get his dander up over a scout in a patrol leaving early regardless of what his reason is. if the patrol continues to function and the patrol leader is not concerned then there is no reason for the SM to be concerned. Focus on training the patrol leaders on how to build teamwork and how to know and understand the needs and characteristics of his patrol members. BW

 

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Agreed, Bob, up to a point. The PL should try some of the tactics mentioned above, like loading the kid up with chores earlier in the weekend. But if the root problem here is the dad, that's an adult problem which should be handled by the adult leaders.

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I think both you guys are right. If the patrol doesn't see it as a problem, then it is not a patrol or leadership problem. But building habits toward good character are also the SMs responsibility and I would have a SM confrence with the scout to point out what I think he gains from making the extra effort. Guide him so that he sets a goal to reach then let him work toward the goal and counsel his performance to boost his confidence.

 

At the same time, I work with the parent and guide him if need be to work with you as a team to help his son reach your goal. Usually if you approached a parent by pointing out the character values you are trying to build, the parent is excited to help. While the parent may not be the direct cause here, he is part of the problem. It's difficult to fix one without changing the other.

 

Great responses, I'm learning a lot.

 

Barry

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