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Well we had our first official pack meeting and most things went very well. The boys were well behaved and excited. Two drawback though. First is the one I feel bad about. One of our Tigers came up after we had awarded his den their totems and said he didn't get one. I asked his name and started to grab a totem. Turns out he's the only one who wasn't ready. I didn't know what to do but apologize. His mom came up and I explained it to her. She seemed ok but I guess I'm not. So how do you experienced people handle that kind of thing?

Here's the next prob. Oh is this mom a doozy. There's no summarizing her so here's just her current weirdo. We have been having a prob with dues not being paid. Mostly because we're new and it's been being overlooked. None of the others have a prob paying the dues but his one mom. She has two boys, bear and webelo, and had told our CC she can't pay. We don't know what to do. The kids show up in brand new uniforms and books etc but if yuou try to talk to her she walks away. We can't function without the dues. Now what should we do?

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Sounds like a communication problem. The Tiger coordinator needs to be on top of who gets what and to make sure the person giving the awards knows also.

 

What else does this dosey mom do? As far as dues, your pack will need to set up some rules & regs regarding this as well as other things.

 

Ed Mori

Scoutmaster

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

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Many scout units at all levels will have families participating who have financial hardships, assuming this is the case. Depending on the financial condition of the unit and the bonafide needs of the families involved, many will provide "camperships" and other forms of financial aid. I am not aware of any official rules or guidelines for this. It is up to the committee if it feels that this is appropriate. Several years ago we had a boy in our troop who came from what would be considered a "dysfunctional" family that wouldn't pay anything. The troop was one of the few outlets this boy had. He was a good kid, and we continued to recharter him as long as he continued to show up.

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Congratulations on a great start! If these are the biggest problems you have, you'll be way ahead of most of the rest of us!

 

On the topic of missed awards - It happens sometimes. Our best efforts sometimes still come up short. Obviously, apoligizing to the boy has to be done, and I think he should get his award right away, or as soon as possilbe if it needs to be ordered. But at the next Pack meeting, he should get the same ceremony as the boys did last time. I find it goes easier for me when I admit in front of the whole group that it was my mistake. And as the Cubmaster, I would take the blame even if it was someone else's mistake. As evidenced by the reaction of the mom, reasonable people understand, as long as you own up, and fix the mistake.

 

As far as the dues go, that's trickier. I beleive that some allowance should be made for those who can't afford it, and it might be reasonable to consider one dues amount for the family instead of for each boy. But it looks in this case that financial hardship is not the case here. If that is so, I would let the mom know what the dues are used for (assuming that they are used for legitemate activities), and advise her that without her family's dues, her boys will have to understand being excluded from whatever it is you use the dues for. I think that the boys should get any award earned (at least rank and arrow points - maybe not belt loops), but if dues are used to fund snacks, or a filed trip, for instance, the boys should be excluded.

But make sure you keep an open mind to the possiblity that there is real financial hardship. It is very possible that she is working hard to cover up difficult money problems by making sure her children don't look different, etc.

Keep up the good work!!!

Mark

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Maybe I missed the point, but didn't you say that when you got to the bottom of it, they boy hadn't yet earned his totem?

 

Ultimately, you only get 'em when you earn 'em, but at the Tiger level, I tried to keep the boys on the same track, even if we had to finess a few requirements. You need to have a conversation with the Tiger Den leader. If the den gets to a point that every boy is earning a badge or belt loop but one, the parent needs to know what's about to happen and try to get the boy over the hump. Most Tiger requirements, except go see its, can be met with a 10 minute one-on-one.

 

As to dues, we have several families who we are helping out. One boy shows up at every meeting very proudly displaying whatever new uniform part he has saved up for and purchased. His second meeting he showed up with a tin box full of change, wanting to buy a handbook. You just want to hug him and give him the shirt off your own back. The other family acts like they are entitled to a free ride. They make it a little more difficult to cheerfully help them.

 

We are a big pack with a lot of resources and can afford to waive the dues and other fees when necessary. But we ask these families to sell a minimum of $300 in popcorn to cover their fees. That makes is seem like less of a handout to both sides. It is tougher at the Cub Scout level, but at the Boy Scout level, I believe the guideline is that camperships pay only half the cost of summer camp with the boy expected to earn the balance.

 

I understand a new pack doesn't have much of a bank account to start with, but perhaps there is someone in the pack or community with the wherewithall to help out. Check with your District Exec to see if there are any scholarship programs at the council level.

 

 

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On the issue of advancements - if a boy hasn't earned it, he doesn't get it -

 

BUT - in Cubs, esp Tigers, Bears, younger ones - you can prevent the dissapointment of these boys by having your advancement coordinator go over all the boys records early on, BEFORE a week or two before the pack night and check with the den leader or Mom and Dad to make sure Johnny knows he is not getting the award, but he COULD, if he did the requirements.

 

This isn't such an issue in Boy Scouts - as the boys are starting to be responsible for themselves and advance at different paces -

But in cubs, especially the younger ones- it really hurts to not get the awards the others get - especially if you're the ONLY one to miss out.

 

As for the mom who doesn't want to pay -

I don't know the rest of the story - but there may be a financial hardship there that YOU don't see. The new uniforms etc may be all that they budgeted for, and the dues have caught her unprepared. they may have been a gift from Grandma or someone else.

 

Or she may not see the value in dues - maybe someone needs to show her exactly what the dues cover.

 

Or she may just not want to pay.

 

have you spoken to her privately? is there anyone that knows her personally that might be able to talk to her? Cornering her at a meeting may or may not be the right approach. If there IS a problem, it may be hard for her to talk about it.

 

We have a family in our troop that is financially tight. They need to know in advance the cost of a trip, because even $10 ea, for two boys - is something that has to be budgeted out of their paychecks. They are more than willing to pay, but they need advance notice. To help them out, we gave the boys uniform shirts and a troop T-shirt out of the troop closet, and when they go to camp, we will give them other needed uniform pieces.

 

Camp for 2 boys could be difficult for them (they moved here just after camp last summer) So we had 2 ASM's sit down with Mom, Dad and the boys at a summer picnic, and tell them that we would help all we could, but the boys would have to "earn" their way, too. Luckily, this family has a great work ethic - the boys are very active and volunteer for everything! they will have no problem getting anywhere they want to go! Our council offers scholarships to camp, and by then, the boys should have enough in their 'boy accounts' to cover the other half & go!

 

Families like this, of course, make it easy to help them. it doesn't hurt that their Dad and Mom have volunteeered to help in whatever way their skills and time will allow.

 

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OK, first off, the Tiger Totem is EXTREAMLY easy to earn. It is made that way on purpose. The Tiger only has to know 3 things, 1)the Tiger motto, 2)the Cub Scout Sign and 3)the Cub Scout Salute. This can be done in ONE meeting!! I would have a talk to your Tiger Leader and make sure they are on top of what the boys are doing.

 

I just got a brand new Tiger at my last meeting, on Saturday. On Tuesday, at our Pack meeting, he and his parents were up on stage to receive his Totem and be welcomed into the Pack. You should have seen this little guy up there proudly stating the Tiger motto and showing the Pack the Sign and Salute. This is after being a Tiger for a total of 4 days! I know that my Tigers and their folks are G-R-R-R-R-E-A-T but remember, this is not rocket science. Unless your Pack meeting was the first time this boy had attended ANY scout function, including den meetings, there is no reason why he was not ready.

 

As for dues - We have all run into these people a time or two in our Scouting career. If your Pack can not afford to waive their dues then I would suggest that you let them know that they will be on the "pay as you go" plan. Be polite but firm. With a brand new Pack you can not afford to cover missing dues. Let them know that if they can not pay dues they will be expected to either do some alternative fundraising or pay out of pocket for the things the dues would cover. I would bet they come up with at least a portion of the dues!

 

Bonnie - Nut :)

Been there, done that with ALL kinds of parents!

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