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bear dad

sibs at den meetings

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Hello,

just wanted to get some feed back on you would handle having boys siblings brought to den meetings? I have 1 lady who has brought boys sister to 1 of our den meetings, I understand single mom and don't want make her upset or it a reason for her to boy out because , she can't bring her daughter.

Right now it is not a problem, but if every parent brought their other kids we have no room, also affraid if she is allowed might think it is showing favortism.

 

My thinking most kids when seeing others having fun, playing they want to join in also. Any advice how to handle this without upseting any one?

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Personal opinion:

Cub Scouting is about Family. I would let the siblings stay and even try to involve them to some decree. If the sibling is a boy then he will be a tiger soon and whats better the wet the appetite. If the sibling is a girl, thing long range. She will eventually be 14. She'll remember a great scouting experience and join a venturing crew.

 

If space is an issue then you have a great problem to have. It is not difficult to find a space, other than a house, that would be a great den meeting spot.

 

For those who think that it is favoritism, remind them that one of the methods of Cub Scouting is Family Involvement. You cannot say what which members of the family to involve.

 

That is unless your unit is chartered by an organization that specifically states that family cannot attend meetings. I do not know of a chartering organization that takes that stand, but there may be one.

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I don't have a problem with it either.... Although it can be an issue if there is unruly siblings and the mom/dad is the DL or ADL.

 

Any extra cost for supplies at an activity (never left a kid out) should be passed to that parent. Make it clear to the parent if your Pack helps den resources or your Den dues cover it.

 

It was rare we needed to dip into den dues. Usually those ended up paying for the "reward" pizza party for good behavior. In our case the DL/ADL and a couple parents always provided the supplies/snacks.(This message has been edited by dg98adams)

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Unless the parent is one of the den leaders, or has a specific job to do at the meeting, there is no reason for the parents to stay for a Bear den meeting.

 

If the parent is a den leader, and has no option but to bring a tagalong, then they should also bring things with to keep the tagalong busy. The sibling can be set up in an area away from the den to work on homework, drawing, playing a handheld game, reading a book, whatever. If you want to include the sib in any games/activities that is up to you, but keep in mind that they might not be age appropriate for her.

 

 

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My sons are 4 years apart and the younger one has been attending Cub Scout events and meetings for about 3 years now. This year he is a Tiger and could not be more excited to finally be a cub scout. He is so proud to wear his own Cub Scout uniform. He was never excluded in events. He has gone on camping trips with the pack, he's gone camping with my older son's Webelos den, he has participated in all den activities. The boys are great with him. We offered to pay for the fun patches but the pack always picked up the cost for all siblings.

 

 

 

 

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Thanks for the replies,at this point it is 1 girl and the brother is a new member of the den, he was going to be a Wolf but with some issues , DE said to put him in with us. In fact he was the only Wolf we was going to have, which it is easier on me since was running those dens also.

My concern is the male, female deal. Trying to closely watch any miss behaven going on. C.Y.A. don't you know!

thanks all

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Now is she participating in the actual meeting or merely sitting in the room.

 

As mentioned earlier Cub Scouting is Family Scouting.

 

I bring my daughter to every Cub scout meetings and outings. I make sure she does not participate in the den meeting, she brings her barbies and plays with another little girl at the meeting.

 

Weeblos is a different deal, Weebs should den camp, which means the boys, no sibs no parents. Den and pack leaders.

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I am a den leader of my son's den (Tigers last year, now Wolves), and have been bringing my younger son (5 now) to meetings with me every time. I make sure that he brings something to play with, and he is occasionally included with the scouts, such as at snack time and at our closing circle, but does not do the crafts or games or enter into our discussions. I explained to him that this is his brother's meeting, and that he will have his chance when he is old enough. This has always worked fine, and not caused problems for me, him, or the scouts. Occasionally other siblings have come with their parents, and we have never had a problem there either.

 

If I were in your position, I would welcome the participation of the mom and not worry about the presence of the girl unless trouble develops. This is not favoritism, since you have not excluded others. As far as everyone bringing their kids, don't worry about it unless it happens! If there are truly too many siblings attending for the space available, you can always have a talk with the parents at that time and explain that you need to make a change, and why.

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All our dens meet at the same time and place, so we have almost as many siblings as we do cub scouts. Last year the sibs sat in a corner of the room and played. This year we have a separate room for them. Parents that are not DLs or ADLs and older teen siblings volunteer to watch them. We each usually bring some toys that can be shared like crayons and paper, wooden train set, dress up box. On outings they come along and participate as they are able. We had a 6 y/o Kindergarten brother last year. We tried to let him participate with the tiger den, but mom said no he would have his turn this year, so he stayed with the other sibs. The only problem we had with sibs was snacks. They saw the boys eating and wanted some to. It was just too much to ask that parents bring them for the boys and sibs. We are now snack free, so its not a problem. If space is an issue for you let parents know that they don't have to stay unless the boys are tigers. If they choose to ask them to only bring sibs when necessary and have them bring something to occupy them. I know cubs is for families, but its also nice for the boys to have some time away from sibs and parents.

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Having sibs, older, younger, girl or boy is unavoidable in cubs. The program is for families.

 

So long as the sibs have activities to keep them busy then it should be OK.

 

It would be an extra burden to require babysitting for them.

 

In the Den's I've led, we even had the sibs participate in the activities but any additional expense was borne by the family.

 

 

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>>"My concern is the male, female deal. Trying to closely watch any miss behaven going on. C.Y.A. don't you know!"

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If we couldn't have siblings at meetings, my husband and I would have to leave the program! We have 6 children, so always have someone extra taggling along, as so far we have just one in Cub Scouts.

 

Many of the older boys do get dropped off, but we encourage parents to stay and help. Siblings can play games with them, most just watch. We have a large Bear den, currently at 15 I believe, and we need parents there to help.

 

If there is ever an issue with siblings, I have encouraged den leaders to let me know, and I'd chat with the parents. But so far, there hasn't been.

 

Melissa Burke

Committee Chair

Pack 78

Twentynine Palms, CA

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BTW - You might want to see if your Wolf aged Bear will have any problems when it comes to earning his AOL and joining a Boy Scout Troop. While it might be easier for you, will it be better for the boy?

Scout Nut,

As far as your comment, let me tell you what has caused all of this, first mom has kept bringing up this age deal becuase it is in the book. Boy has been held back at school at some point I think? Yes he is in 2nd grade turns 9 next month. Mom was going to be my ADL for Wolves, but so far he is the only one.

I have tried to tell her it is also by grade that they are grouped,she basically sounded like she might pull boy out of if he could not be in Bears.

I called the DE explained to him what the story was, he said boy would be able to cross over when times come from age requirements and since he is only 1 in the wolves to let him join the bears.

I asked if that would be problem, DE said no, so told the mom that he could according to DE, NOT ME. I am trying follow rules that I know of.As to him earning the AOL, or benefiting from all of this I can't say? What do you when parent are dead set on something like this? hate for the boy to loose out on scouting exeperience.

One more thing boy it is sister that has came to meeting, we have tried to keep het involved with something else and she actually help with some things, As boys were washing up for snack notice she was in bathroom with them, told ALL KIDS that they some be seperate times for them to be in there.

 

I just found out about a Webelos/bears camp out for just the boys and parents, so when I tell mom about this she will have to decide what to do, as I will tell her when he gets to Webelos, they do more of these things, not that they won't be any family camp outs, but there are those just for boys.

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My question was because, you stated he was a Wolf who was moved up to Bears. If he was Wolf aged (7 or 8 year old), he would not be able to earn AOL when the rest of the den. He would not meet the minimum age (or grade) requirement.

 

However, since he is turning 9 there should be no problem with his registration as a Bear, and no problem with him meeting the age requirements for AOL and Boy Scouts with the rest of your den.

 

Explain the Buddy System to everyone. Make sure mom and daughter are clear that mom is her daughters buddy.

 

In Cub Scouts, there are no camping experiences that are "just for boys". Even as a Webelos, BSA Guide to Safe Scouting states that the Cub Scout must be under the supervision of a parent, guardian, or a parent-approved adult on all campouts.

 

 

 

 

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ScoutNut,

Thanks for the insight, might had mislead you about the "just for boys" thing. What I meant and have been told is that certain camp outs like Webelos Woods are for scouts only, that is boys only. YES boys MUST HAVE PARENT or Guardian with them, "they " could be male or female.

But these camp outs are not the family type, so I been told. Thanks

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