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What should be done? if anything?


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Ok, so our pack had an event to help complete the summertime pack requirements and while there, one of the dads kept telling his son, that he was a jerk and he was stupid, to quit being a jerk. He did this with all the other scouts and parents around. Not pulled him aside but kind of loudly told him this stuff.

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Well I can't address this from the Cub Scout level but as a SM I would find this unacceptable and the parent would be asked to either desist said parent would not be welcome on future troop functions. I would think a discussion and warning for the next offense would be a good start.

 

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I am guessing that you are the mom of a scout in the troop and not a den leader or a Cubmaster. That will make it harder, but you will need to approach both the den leader and the cubmaster.

 

What needs to be done?

 

Either the den leader or the Cubmaster needs to pull this guy aside and tell him point blank that name calling by any scout or adult is not accepted at any scout event. He must not use derogatory names toward is son or any other scout, sibling or person at a scout outing.

 

Whoever does this needs to inform the committee chair that this was done. Formally or informally this talk should be considered a warning.

 

(This message has been edited by Mafaking)

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Someone should have pulled him aside at the event and talked to him then. Unfortunately, everyone just let it slide.

 

At this point you, or the Committee Chair(was he at the event too?), or both, should have an informal talk with your CM and let him know that adults MUST watch what they do, and say, around the Cub Scouts. Adults, and especially Pack leaders like him, are roll models for the boys.

 

Remind him that the boys pick up on EVERYTHING. Ask him how he would feel, and what he would do, if he heard a Cub calling another Cub jerk, or stupid.

 

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The fact that he IS the Cubmaster is unfortunate. Depending on his personality, and yours, you may consider just having a private talk with him about your concerns. Ultimately, if this is continual actions or unaltered behavior, then the Committee Chair and the Charter Organization Rep are the ones to deal with it. If the behavior continues on and nothing is done about it, then I would consider moving to another Pack. If he treats his own son in this manner, what is to say that your's won't be treated the same at some point?

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"What if the guy IS the cubmaster? "

 

Then you got a lousy cubmaster.

 

If you are going to be his kid's den leader you will at least be able to exert control during den meetings. Heck, with all your experience in scouting, I bet you can be blunt with other adults when you have to be. :)

 

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Couple of thoughts:

 

1) What ScoutNut and Ed said. Parent and Own Child does not make what he did any more right or palatable though.

 

2) As a DL, you can control the adults who attend your meetings.

 

3) As a DL, you can visit with parents and explain how you expect parents to support Cubbing, including encouraging all your youth.

 

4) Observe your young charges closely. If they merit praise for behaving maturely for their age, give it to them and their parents.

 

5) Nolo Bastardus Carborundum.

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Not to defend the guy, but there really aren't enough specifics here. Maybe the kid was being a jerk. Maybe if the boy was misbehaving and the father knows that he is one of those kind of kids that is motivated by his popularity...

 

If you feel it was unwarranted, get may want to get the Pack Committee involved.

 

Last note, as his den leader you will have a great opportunity to help this boy. While his father tears down his confidence on one side, you can use your position to help to build it back up.

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I don't care if it is his own kid. This is emotional abuse. Why is this not a YP issue, reportable to the CO and SE? If this is how he treats his own kid, I sure as heck would not let him in a direct contact position with the unit.

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This is emotional abuse.

 

Horsehockey!

 

Like Herms posted, maybe his kid was being a jerk & acting stupid. We don't have enough information to be judging what this guy said to his own son!

 

 

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A lot of parents tend to be harder on their own kids and feel their behavior reflects how good of a parent they are. That doesn't make it right to call a kid stupid, even if it is his own son. Unless you've seen similar behavior with other kids, it's a big can of worms to open.

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