gcan 10 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 A while back i'd posted for advice on how to deal with a controlling CC who was pushing people out of the pack. I followed the advice, she calmed down somewhat and we minimized pack evens that she would have contact with our parents and kids. And some of the other leaders are so fed up that the decision was all but made to split off and form a new pack in June. Well, tonight this CC went absolutly Exorcist on us. She started screaming and cursing and throwing things. She accused the other leaders of plotting against her, and called a leader several choice names, dropping the F-bomb several times. She accused us of undermining her, of talking about her behind her back. She really was way over the top- I honestly haven't seen an adult act that way since my ex husband, lol, and certainly NEVER an adult in the presence of aquaintances. Oh, did I mention there was a parent their WITH HIS CUB SCOUT to help out with an upcoming trip? Ultimatly, she quit and informed her husband (the CM) that he was quitting too. So now we need to fill those roles. Not a problem, because the ACM has been doing most of it all anyway. And I'm not worried that she'll take any of the pack if she decides to leave, although her sole supporter is the Bear leader and would be sorely missed. My concern is that she has promised that "oh, I'm coming to the Cub-o-ree. But don't ask ME to do an Fing thing." I fully expect her to cause some trouble with the other parents in the organization, but what in the world are we going to do if she looses it at the district wide Cub-o-ree? What about if she starts ordering people around like noting happened? (FYI, she's caused some trouble at baseball by disciplining children she didn't know). what can we do to keep her from making a scene? Link to post Share on other sites
Lisabob 13 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Isn't it fun to manage other volunteers?! Contact your charter organization pronto. Let them know that the Cubmaster and Committee Chair have chosen to move on to other things. Have your Charter Org. Representative direct council to remove them from the pack roster, and have the charter org. send a letter to the ex-CC and ex-CM stating that they are no longer members. As an ex-member of the pack, she will have no reason to attend events. If your charter org. is not currently aware of the situation, now is the time to make them aware before your psycho ex-CC does it for you, but from her point of view. Depending on how involved your charter org. is, you might also want to offer them the names of folks who are willing to step in to replace the former CM and CC, and get the charter org representative's signatures on those adult leader applications taken care of right away too. That way council's records will be updated to reflect the change and you won't have to wait around for your charter org to get with the program (if they're typically un-involved). Link to post Share on other sites
gwd-scouter 11 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 I don't have any specific advice, but removing her from the charter will not remove her from activities. If her son is still in the Pack, she can attend as a parent. Link to post Share on other sites
evmori 11 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Yup get her off your charter. And while you are at it, I would have a chat with you charter rep & talk about the idea of her not accompanying her son to any Pack or Den events. If you get the backing for this from your charter rep then badda bing she can't do her thing! Link to post Share on other sites
gcan 10 Posted May 5, 2009 Author Share Posted May 5, 2009 One of the leaders is contacting the charter org rep today, I will relay all of that to her. Problem is, our CO isn't very involved, and honestly up until this year we never HAD a CO rep. This year we got one of the parents (who is in both orgs) to do it, but she stopped showing up apparently because she'd had some problems early on about the CC. Oh, and the CC WAS a member of the CO at one point, but "was asked to leave". Should we notify council? and what would we tell them if we did? And I'm pretty sure we can't stop her from attending things as a parent, i'm just worried about her behavior when she does attend. She's not exactly the type to go quietly into the night, KWIM? Link to post Share on other sites
evmori 11 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Your charter rep should be the one to contact your council to have this person removed from your charter. A phone call followed up by a written letter is the best method. Sounds like you shouldn't have any trouble getting the backing of your charter rep! Link to post Share on other sites
dg98adams 18 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 talk about the idea of her not accompanying her son to any Pack or Den events This is not an action I would advocate. Once she is removed from the charter, she is parent without any responsibility as pack leadership. I think you will find if she is removed from the charter, she will take her son and husband with her. If she looses it at the district even, she will be asked to leave by the Program director or SE. Link to post Share on other sites
Nike 94 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Make sure once all your i's are dotted and t's are crossed to send an e-mail to the pack thanking your former CC and her husband the former CM for all the hard work and help they've given to the pack and introducing the new CC and CM. I've known of troops/packs that have had to make sure a parent who was local law enforcement attended events after several really bad breakups like this. I hope this lady gets some psychiatric help. Link to post Share on other sites
evmori 11 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 ]talk about the idea of her not accompanying her son to any Pack or Den events This is not an action I would advocate. Once she is removed from the charter, she is parent without any responsibility as pack leadership. My thoughts were to help alleviate any potential backstabbing & muttering under the breath. Link to post Share on other sites
Beavah 205 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Yah, remove from da charter, send out notes to all the families thanking 'em for their service and introducing the new CC and CM. As for da Camporee, I think it's OK for someone to approach her and say that the pack really wants the new CM and CC to represent 'em at the event to give them a chance to get started, etc. Would they mind terribly giving 'em some space by stayin' home on this first one, etc. They'll hopefully get da hint. Beavah Link to post Share on other sites
John-in-KC 311 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Follow Lisa and Beavah's advice!!! Your chartered partner needs to do its work in leader selection ... and unselect this couple as leaders. There's one other person I'd touch base with: Your unit commissioner. Ask him to attend the function and to be relatively close to your unit. If Mrs F-bomb attends and launches, then the commish can be on hand to ask her to leave, politely. If she then refuses, between him and the Professionals, she can be removed by more drastic means.(This message has been edited by John-in-KC) Link to post Share on other sites
Buffalo Skipper 13 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 I would expect a zero tolerance under the circumstances (especially in the presence of cubs) for that kind of language. Having the UC up to speed and present is a responsible and strategic option. For a moment, I was worried about the likely resulting exclusion of their son, but your responsiblitly also covers all the other scouts who will attend. John, Lisabob, and Beavah are right on. Not that they need my blessing, but I cannot offer better, clear-minded advice than they have given you. Good luck, and keep us posted on how things are going.(This message has been edited by Buffalo Skipper) Link to post Share on other sites
Lisabob 13 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 You probably will lose the boy, though if mom here is intent on making a scene, she'll probably wait until she's done so (again) to pull her child from the unit. So you have options. 1) Regretfully remove the boy from your unit too, along with removing the parents. This is a tough call because probably the boy has done nothing wrong except to have the misfortune of being born into this family. 2) Alert whoever is running this event that you may have a problem adult in the midst. At least that way, program organizers can work with your pack to try to downplay any outbreaks that occur. 3) Have somebody - perhaps your UC if you have one - have a less gentle sit-down with this woman and clearly tell her she can attend with her child, but the first sign of misbehavior will result in the entire family being escorted from the event. If she feels she cannot abide by that, she should consider not attending. If you don't have a UC and want back-up, consider contacting your District Commissioner (if you don't know who that is, call your council office and ask). If that doesn't help and even though it really is not their job, call your DE and ask him/her to point you in the correct direction for district-volunteer support. Hope this helps, and good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Eagle92 110 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 WOW, I pray I am never in that situation. yep have the COR remove her fromt he charter, and see if the COR wants the CC job. As for the district event, make sure event staff, both volunteer and professional, know what's up and that there maybe potential problems. That way the first sign of problems and they can be asked to leave. A friend of mine had to remove a leader from a council event one time. Gave them 30 minutes to pack up and leave, or the sheriff would be called in. Link to post Share on other sites
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