Mother Does Not Allow Son to Attend Blue and Gold

[lizzygo 10]

I am so disturbed by the behavior of a parent in my den. She sent me a nasty e-mail stating that here son would not be attending the blue and gold dinner, they had a prior commitment out of town.

 

The dinner was at 7:30 p.m. Prior to that, there was a school activity. The whole den wore their uniforms in anticipation of the Blue and Gold. W

 

ho shows up to the school activity? The previously unavailable scout and his family. The mother gave me dirty looks all night and told my husband she was angry that the boys came in uniform "to rub it in" to her son.

 

This women is so nasty. I have gone out of my way to make here son feel included. I hope he does not continue on as a bear.

[Lisabob 13]

Lizzy,

 

What a shame for that boy, that his mom apparently does not want him to have a full scouting experience. And I'm sorry you have to deal with that type of nastiness too. It seems to me there are many adults who do not understand that everyone working with their child in scouting is a volunteer, doing this out of the goodness of their heart.

 

But as you know, there's no law against parents being jerks. Or against using their children as pawns in some personal game.

 

And who knows, maybe, just maybe, the family had to leave for their out of town activity right after the school event???

 

Chances of this boy continuing in scouts are not high. More's the pity for him but I completely understand your last comment too!

[scoutldr 726]

Was the decision to wear uniforms to the school activity a Pack/Den decision or did everyone just show up in uniform coincidentally? If a Pack/Den decision, did she not have an opportunity to get the same information as everyone else? When she said they wouldn't be there, I would have said "Sorry, we're going to miss you." Some people will never be happy, and, unfortunately, if she continues with her bullying behavior, she can be asked to leave the Pack. It is her son that will suffer, but it's her decision.

[SSScout 1615]

Ditto the above comments.

 

I would do my best to ignore her rude and inappropriate behavior. Smile and treat her as you do the other parents. Make an effort to ask her to help with things. Compliment the boy when you can for HIS efforts and make him to feel he is welcome and appreciated as a Cub. Try to make sure the boy's choice is Scouting.

 

Depend on your reputation as a caring, competant Scout Leader to carry the day. Eventually, others may take her aside and "coffee cup" her.

 

KiS MiF YiS

[John-in-KC 311]

I'm sorry you had to play "catch the javelin" on this one.

 

Romans 12:17-21 comes in handy for times like these...

 

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.

18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

20 On the contrary:

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

 

Best thing you can do is be nice to her ... and as others have said, make sure you single out her Cub for appropriate high praise.

 

BTW, it might be worth asking the school principal if there are economic or family issues which would have made being at B&G uncomfortable for the family. If there are, quiet help to overcome the barriers may be in the "right thing to do" box.(This message has been edited by John-in-KC)

[lizzygo 10]

Thansk you everyone for the feedback. It made me feel better just to write this down.

 

I will continue to treat her as any other mother. People do not always behave the best that they can. I do not want the boy to be denied his accomplishment of earning his wolf badge.

 

I will have a special ceremony for him atthe next den meeting.

[ScoutNut 147]

Why not have a rank ceremony at this month's Pack meeting so he can be recognized in front of the entire Pack?

 

 

[John-in-KC 311]

Agree with ScoutNut.

 

Even if your Pack has finished its program year, I assume you're going to Day Camp or doing some other summertime activity.

 

Do it there, in front of all!!!

[Gonzo1 10]

I agree with scoutnut, have a separate ceremony.

 

When I was Web II Den Leader, one boy's parents refused to let the scout cross over until AFTER B&G because they "paid" for B&G in their dues, they were gonna get that ham dinner and rolls!

 

G

[Pack212Scouter 10]

LOL...that's hilarious Gonzo. Our Webelo 2's however are fully invided to our B&G even though it is after crossover. We consider it part of their last year.