how much should we know about our parents?

[Pack212Scouter 10]

Gold Winger, you seem to like to look at the world in a positive sense, that is great, unfortunatly much of the reality of the world is different. And being responsible for young boys means that we have to put their welfare...all of their welfare first.

 

"I always judge people by their behavior NOW. Allowing him to go camping with the Pack and interact with regular people may have been good for him and helped him realize that there were benefits to staying out of jail."

 

Maybe, maybe not...however Scouting is for the boys, not to help influence mom's current boyfriend.

 

"His presence might have actually been good for all of the boys. "Mr. Brown, Jimmy said that you went to jail." "Yep, I did some really STUPID things and I paid the price. Jail is not a nice place." "

 

Judging by what we have been told here, he is a multiple repeat offender (including some violent crimes) hardly someone who would be expected to say that. If he truely had that attitude, I somehow doubt that he would be threatening people today.

 

"Unfortunately, now we'll never know."

 

Thank goodness. I personally would rather not know the chance of a marginal good outcome versus the likelyhood of a negative influence or the off chance of something worse. The reason for background checks (a requirement for leadership by our CO), rules on behavior, two-deep, etc. is to keep these boys in a safe environment. Their safety (physical, emotional, and influenced) should always be our first priority.

[Gold Winger 9]

If safety is a concern, I'd ask how this person would endanger the boys. Casper Milqtoast might be a greater danger because he doesn't understand the rule about no smoking in a tent.

 

It's your pack and you have to do what you have to do.

 

 

[eolesen 10]

Repenting for past behavior is one thing, but this guy started making threats to the unit leaders when told he couldn't go on the outing. That isn't exactly conducive to a positive Scouting environment for anyone.

 

If he already served his time, I can understand some resentment for being held to a different standard than loser parents without criminal records are held to.

 

I do agree that his participating with pseudo-step-son could have a positive rub-off effect on him once it's a little clearer that he's changing his ways a bit...

 

Jeff, has anyone addressed the question about what happens if he ever marries the boy's mom, or more responsibly, adopts the boy or otherwise becomes his legal guardian?

 

Not to open a new can of worms, but a previous discussion on another forum asked the question "would you award Eagle to a boy who had been involved in an underage DUI?"

 

Some people said "never" and others said "perhaps, if it was clear that he recognized how his actions were inconsistent with the Scout Oath and Law." After days of debate, many of us agreed that it would be best to reconvene his Board of Review after six months or so, to see if he really had learned from the experience and changed his ways.

 

 

So... to bring it back to this topic...

 

Perhaps pseudo-step-dad's status should be reviewed in six months or a year.

 

It's possible that he may change. And, it's possible that the review will simply reinforce the current decision.

 

But don't just close the door on it indefinitely. Not yet, at least.(This message has been edited by eolesen)

[genewick4 10]

Have you called the Probation Officer? He/she could probably give you great insight on what you are looking for. A curfew extention request will probably being forwarded to a felony Judge for his approval. You can get information at http://www.dc.state.fl.us/.

 

I have worked as a probation officer for 22 years and a cubmaster for the last 2 years, the key is don't lose the scout, he has enough on his plate with out the loss of more positive role models, if the dad is trying hard to change the P.O. will know it, they will also being urine screens and keeping up with his employment, checking on the conditions of the house, etc. If you need to be concerned they will let you know, seems like the offender is trying to do everything above board Call the Prob. Off. see what they think about it.

[Gold Winger 9]

I missed the post about the threatening comments. Now he did something to warrant exclusion. Packs don't have to accept all comers.

 

 

[manuelsmum 10]

OK I really have to shed some light on this topic due to my husband having been in prison before....I am a Assistant Cub Master, Den Leader, and Committee Chair in my pack. My husband is currently on probation and because he can't not leave the county, he is required to get permission to go to another part of the city. My husband is not a bad person, nor has done anything violate in his past. He works 9-10 hours a day,comes home helps with my son's cub scouting needs and has also has attended camp outs when he's not working. So, I prefer a person with no sexual abuse towards others then someone that made a stupid mistake in his past and has learned and grown from it. So my option would be don't judge anyone prior to knowing what really is going on and put your self in his families shoes for one second before you say no. thank you all for hearing me out. I know there's probably many that disagree and that's fine, I'm entitled to say what I want in the land of the free and so do you.

[ElyriaLeader 11]

Maybe I missed it in all the posts but, if the man in question is not the boys biological father, or not married to the mother (thus the step father) or has no legal claims of custody in regards to the boy.

Then it is all a moot point...he has no rights concerning the boy and scouting.

[MomToEli 55]

I can tell you what our DE said when a similar situation reared it's ugly head here ...

 

Note the differences: Dad's issue is drug related crimes. Turns out, so is Mom's. Robbery, IMO, is a much more personal crime - as in there is a clear infraction against another person or persons.

 

We ended up declaring that they were not welcome in our den (dh is is LE - and at the time the issue first came up, was even on a narcotics task force). The DE said we were within our rights to refuse participation in our den, but we could not exclude them from the pack if there was another den willing to take them. There was and he and his family are there now. They didn't attend our Family Campout, but the kiddo came with another family and the boys stayed in a tent separate from the parent of the "host family".

 

Now, suddenly, the kiddo who hadn't come anywhere near completing a single achievement towards his Wolf Badge has done so since the end of September and is being awarded same Wolf Badge (as a Bear, mind you). Something is really smelly in Denmark, but the Committee Chair says let it fly, so I'll buy the badge this week so we can have a little ceremony at the next Pack Meeting.

 

Anyway, those sour grapes aside, if you have a strong moral objection to having the family participate in your Den (we cited conflict of interest with dh's job as well as child safety concerns), say so and stand your ground. The Council at least backed us that far.

 

He is not asking for a character reference letter, btw - merely a letter confirming his wearabouts. If you are going to let him go with you, then I don't see why you wouldn't be willing to let his PO know that, though I'd make it clear that you have no way to assure he does not leave during the night hours.