Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
scoutlady105

Leader made a mistake

Recommended Posts

Ed,

 

LongHaul was using YP as an example of a liability issue.

 

The issue at hand is a morals and mores issue of adults. It properly belongs in the hands of the CC, COR, and IH ... and certainly not the parents.(This message has been edited by John-in-KC)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some cynical observations:

 

"No youth ever found out" - good lesson, its ok as long as you don't get caught

 

"The marriage was over, but not publically" - says who? The two who jumped in the tent together or the spouse(s) at home?

 

One of my best friends justified his cheating by telling me his marriage was over, only problem was, his wife didn't know it was over.

 

"A mistake would be if he went to the wrong tent" - now that sounds like the most applicable statement I've seen so far...

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"It properly belongs in the hands of the CC, COR, and IH ... and certainly not the parents."

 

Yes it is the job of the CO to remove adult leaders, and select them. Parent input can come when the CO is looking for comments about the qualifications for adult leader positions. And of course parents have the final say as to whether they want their sons in the care of adults that lack the character they want their sons to develop.

 

Personally, I'd have a very hard time supporting and encouraging my son in a program with adult leaders that place a higher value on their personal pleasure and "free sex with anyone" than on their life partner and family. A role model with this demonstrated lack of values just does not mesh with the values we teach in Scouting. Keeping either of these leaders would be a bad choice, in my opinion.

 

Values and character is serious stuff and if we blow it off, so will our children.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As a parent, it would certainly be your choice to stay with a particular unit or not FScouter.

 

I do think you jump to some conclusions about this particular situaion based you your inference these are adult leaders that place a "higher value on their personal pleasure and "free sex with anyone" than on their life partner and family."

 

You don't know that there was any sexual activity involved in this event, you don't know what specifics caused the one leader to be divorcing his spouse, (who is at fault in the marriage, if either or if both) All assumptions and interesting how easily we assume the worst and how hard it is for us to give any benefit of the doubt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We all have the exact same information and make comments and offer personal opinions based on limited facts, myself included. Several here have concluded that adult leader hanky-panky at 3 am is no big deal. I take a different view; it is a big deal. A full set of facts in a specific case does not shape my personal thoughts on morality and character.

 

Children learn behaviors by watching and emulating the actions and attitudes of other adults. Adults demonstrate their character and morals through their everyday actions. Children observe adult actions, inactions, comments, behaviors, philosophies, and evaluate them.

 

It doesnt matter whether any boys did or did not see the tent bouncing up and down at 3 AM. Character, morals, ethics, and principles are with a person all the time. One cannot purport to teach Scouting values and then temporarily discard those values for a 3 AM tryst. Kids arent fooled, and neither should those charged with selecting adult Scout leaders.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We all have our opinions on what should be done with the leaders, if some form of boinking actually happened.

 

Now was the non-leader just sitting around the fire, making a nature run, or playing the voyeur?

 

Have they been known to cause a stir in the past?

 

Was he or she heading to another tent themselves?

 

Are they jealous that they weren't the chosen one?

 

Did they go over and listen/peek to see what was going on because they had to defend Scouting, or because they were curious, or wanted to get their kicks?

 

What is/was done with this person?

 

And yes, they better watch their backside like LongHaul stated, or they may find themselves wishing the owned Fort Knox.

 

Present it to the CO and IH, and only them, and let them has out the punishments for all involved.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

FScouter,

I guess this could be considered HIGH ADVENTURE for the two leaders involved, and the potential voyeuristic non-leader, but doesn't this really fall under Troop Politics?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, for an update to all you concerned leaders.

 

Leader #1, the male who visited Leader #2's tent at 3 am, talked to the parent who saw him make his 3 am visit. This parent was "sleeping under the stars." All was supposedly resolved and they were going to quietly withdraw their son. Since the SM had already called a parent meeting, it was going to be turned into a meeting to discuss a new program the unit was rolling out. Then the witnessing parent and his wife showed up.

 

Even tho the female leader that would have like to retain her leadership position didn't wish for the incident to be aired before the whole crowd, it was.

 

There was one parent who still wanted her resignation, all the others voted to forgive.

 

The SM is now taking it to the COR and the DE.

 

Is there anything that says the DE has to be involved?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My only experience with something similar while I was District Membership Chairman was that the unit suffered greatly from the rumors that got out. And other problems arose for the unit because it was evident that morality wasnt big on the list of one of the adults. After watching all that, I would suggest both adults leave the unit to kill the drama and lingering memories as fast as possible. Im betting their recruiting will struggle next year.

 

Barry

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"The parents voted to forgive"???

 

Since when do parents get a "vote" on anything when it comes to running a unit? As stated before, it's the CO's call as to leaders serving or not serving.

 

This whole issue was mishandled from the beginning.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

>

Since all was "supposedly" resolved, how do you know that the boy was NOT going to be withdrawn anyway?

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ASM915's take is an interesting one. Do we know if anything other than conversation happened? And how long was leader #1 in leader #3's tent? I would agree that regardless of what happened, poor judgment was executed by these two.

 

scoutldr is correct! The parents, unless they are registered leaders in this unit, have no say in anything.

 

This should be the CO's call. They are the responsible party when it comes to the adult leadership in a unit.

 

Ed Mori

1 Peter 4:10

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I realize no one has proof of intimacy, yet the parties admission of a 'mistake' being made is probably a nice way to put it.

 

Just curious...

Would we all be so forgiving if there were two women in the tent and they had a threesome?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, the adults made an error in judgement and all we seem to want to do is dwell in one thing. How about celebrating the time and committment made to the boys of the troop up to this lapse in judgement? Why judge at all, these are fine people volunteering their time for the good of the boys and to question their fitness as leaders is unbecomming to us as a forum. We need to honor all who work with the boys and trust them to be the best they can and know that whatever they do is ok

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×