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No women allowed - is this usual?


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Yep, the BSA method in action and at its finest. Probably the hardest thing for a parent to understand - the parent's route for communication is through the committee and/or the SM. Then leave it up to the SM's best judgment, that's why we pay him the big bucks:

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When our new scouts camp for the first time we normally make it so it is a "family camp" Some parents don't know us well and may be uncomfortable letting little Johnny out on his own with us. The only thing we require is that they do not sleep with their son. That he sleeps in his patrol with his partner. And that they not interfer with the boys working in their patrols.

 

It has worked well. The parent sees how the patrol method works and realized their son can do much more than they thought.

We ask our sons not to call us Mom or Dad. We ask all the boys to call us Mrs. (first name)

Last camp out I had one new boys came up and ask me about something, I said "I don't know. What did your PL say?" He said he hadn't ask. I suggested that he go and ask the person he should.

We just got 4 new boys two months ago. Two have now been on 2 camping trips and a third is tomorrow. They are beginning to gel into the patrol

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Yes "don't ask me ask you PL works". Since I go to most of the Scout campouts and being very active with the Cubs most of the new Scouts know me from Cubs they do ask me. not because i'm the "mom" on the campout but because they see me as a leader they know.After the first time they ask and are told the way it works I don't get asked again.Since i've been following this thread I have asked my sons (1 first class,1 second class ) if it bothers them that Mom is at the campouts. They both said why wouldn't you come.Your a leader.The other boys in the troop feel the same way.So my question is Why would you tell a leader to stay home?

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I made a comment that I might not go on the camping trip we are leaving for tomorrow. Thought there was going to be a war. The response was

"NO you have to come. You are the one that brings all the books to identify things we find."

So I will go. I carry a box with all kind of field books. Birds,rocks, bugs, snakes, etc.

I grew up with my parents being leaders and the chaperons for everything I did, Church, Riding Club, Scouts, both proms. I thought it was great.

One thing when we are camping many times Kevin will go to either the SM or one of the other ASM before he comes to me.

Think it is great. Like my Gran use to say

"We should raise our kids like the birds. Hatch them, feed and nurture them, teach them to fly and then boot them out of the nest and make them use their own wings."

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  • 2 weeks later...

nldscout,

The Chartering Organization is the Latter Day Saints , ( Mormon's). My Council is mostly Mormon. We spent most of our Council Jamborall telling people that my Crew had girls in it and yes they were allowed to do activities. We did sleep in the Family Camp area, just to help keep the peace.

 

YIS

Lana

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Even if you wanted to (and I don't know why you would), you can't prevent mothers from attending anything they want to attend. It says so in the "Information for Parents" right on the youth application form. I tell all our parents at our "new family" conference that they're welcome at anything, any time -- no secrets and no exclusions. Trying to rewire any adult's personality, from a cranky old SM to a loving single mom, is a fool's errand that I'll have no part of. Any moms and/or dads who want to come camping or hiking with us are more than welcome. Some occasionally bring a bad habit or ignorance of the GTSS with them, but we discreetly deal with those exceptions when they present themselves.

 

I think it's only natural for a parent to be concerned and want to know what's going on, by witnessing firsthand if need be. In my experience, almost every one has been satisfied that we're going to return their sons with the same number of parts they left home with, and if they were concerned, they aren't concerned any more. Oh sure, there have been a few who were a little too "clingy" a little too long, but even they eventually settled down. The point is, no amount of ham-handed behavior on my part would have accelerated that by even one minute.

 

KS

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"I checked out going to the CC, but discovered he is an elderly relative of the SM. I called the single mom and offered to share my tent. She had already gone out and gotten one, but was happy to talk a while. She is very frustrated. Like me, she had decided to go ahead and attend the campout and then make a decision. Unfortunately, her son, like mine, wants very nmuch to stay with all his buddies. My husband and I sat down and had a talk with my son. My husband told him that he wasn't "raising any children who didn't respect half of the population" and if he saw any of that coming from our son his involvement with this troop would be over. My son surprised us both by telling us that he didn't care if the SM wanted me there, he wanted me there and that's what mattered. He also said when he was SPL (ambitious little dude, isn't he?) he would push to be sure women were welcome. Having spoken with my son and seen how strongly he feels, I agree with the poster who said moving him to another troop would probably result in him leaving scouting. He loves it so much, I don't want that to happen. Yesterday afternoon he put up and took down his tent by himself on the front lawn until he could do it alone in under ten minutes. This took a while since the neighbor kids and a stray father insisted on helping a few times, before finally going off to put up a tent in their own front yards. Though his sister sat on the porch to encourage (or harrass) him, I stayed in the house so I wouldn't be tempted to help. Then last night after sports he had me drive him to a dark field near the house so he could time himself and see how long it took him to put up his tent alone in the dark - 18 minutes. I stood on the side of the road and watched him quietly. From a mother's perspective those were 18 wonderful minutes. I don't want to intrude on his Boy Scout experience, but I don't want to miss out on it either. I'm going camping. Maybe I should practice putting up my own tent. "---Scoutscooter

 

This post made me cry tears of joy!!!! 

 

I have to agree with Cajuncody and Vicki...I'd be right there on that log with them...maybe not as well "earned" as Vicki but I'd be there! 

Also, very glad to hear that even though this SM has a No Women attitude it can not stray the mind of an 10-12 year old boy that was raised by caring, loving parents willing to teach him right from wrong!  BRAVO.

 

Ang

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  • 4 months later...

Moms on campouts? Absolutely! One rule that works really well: When Billy Smith's mom comes on a campout, Billy refers to her as "Mrs. Smith", just like all of the other boys do. And no younger - or - older siblings. The moms who come camping with us understand this and we have no problems with it. One mom said that coming camping was great; grandma and grandpa get to spend time with their granchild while she comes camping with the troop.

We have found that having moms in the camp has a special benefit. On the very rare chance that a scout hurts himself, the nearest woman in camp becomes "Mom" and he will go to her to see if he's alright. I would rather the scout seek out "Mom" than have his "file-suit-at-the-drop-of-a-hat" parents go ballistic. Women on campouts? Come on, Mom! Women in O.A.? Welcome, my brother(?)! Women Wood Badgers? You betcha'! Boys need to have positive role models of both genders and seeing them interacting, too.

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Greying Eaagle,

 

No older or younger siblings can be a problem when you have noone to leave your children with. My husband works very wierd hours, my parents have both passed away, my mil works 2nd shift, and I am NOT going to leave my younger son with my fil. This has hurt how I feal about Boys Scouts. I love the program as does my son, but I feal VERY limited in what I can do and how much I can be involved. I had hopes of being very involved in the program.

 

Kittle

 

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Wow, your Sm would not last long here in England, we have not only female parents helping out at camp, we have coed scouting in all branches of scouting, some packs/troops dont take females but after this year it will be illegal to refuse entrance on gender reasons.

Our Beaver Colony and Cub Pack both have female leaders, our Akela is female and she is brilliant, also two more females have recently been invested as leaders in our group, one in Beavers and one that works with the cubs and scouts. On camp we have mums coming along to help, wouldnt be enough leaders if they didnt, they sleep in tents on the ground, one of the leaders has a daughter in cubs and a daughter just gone up to scouts, when on camp or at pack/troop meetings they call her Baloo, not mum.I have a lot of friends in my pack, I go to school with some of them, I dont have a mum, but if I did and I found out the Sm didnt like mums or refused to let my mum attend camp I would ask to joinanother pack/troop

 

yours in scouting

Owain

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  • 1 month later...

I'm an Assistant Scoutmaster and a Unit Commissioner. This person is a fool for turning away a parent who wants to help. Not to mention a sexist bigot. Most of the parents of our scouts drop their kids off for a meeting or activity and go home. We should welcome any help we can get from parents.

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Welcome to the forums, David14011. You'll quickly see that there's no need to sugarcoat your thoughts in these forums. Go ahead and write what you really think. ;)

This unit has active participation by women at nearly all events. No problem at all, for the men OR the boys.

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