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New Den Mother, HELP


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Correct me if I'm wrong, but Tiger den meetings are run by the Tiger Den Leader, the same as in other dens. The difference is that each boy is required to have an adult partner present.

 

Parent involvenment and assistance is not the same as being a Den Leader.

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I tried to warn ya, Kenk! Now, instead of a balmy 65 degrees, you have to deal with the full 98.6 degree heat from Tropical Storm BOB!!!! ;)

 

There's no way around this. Keeping things the way they are, is inappropriate -- you're just not following the rules - rules established and tested to be in the best interests of the Cubs.

 

But, it's not a crime (well, IMHO, not an unfixable one, anyway) it's a matter of weight and which team members are carrying which portion of that weight.

 

Now, as I step carefully out onto Kenk's rapidly melting ice and see the sharks circling. . .

 

Having parents and even the Webes, themselves, help is really an interesting approach. But, Kenk, you need to be TREMENDOUSLY careful with it. You and your ADL have ALL the responsibility; there's NO getting around that. BUT, we all encourage our parents to help out and share their talents. So, (and I know there will be plenty of disagreement out there) I'd like to try seeing this as an experiment and a test case.

 

Let's go slowly with this . . .

 

Where is the line? Yes, Kenk is obviously on the wrong side of it. But is he just a foot or two over, or has he run screaming past the line into the next county?

 

Would his process be OK, or just "closer to OK", if:

 

-He carefully planned with, and pre-approved the parents' efforts.

-the DL (or ADL) was an integral part of any parent led activity.

-he followed up with reflection between DL and parent.

- . . .?

 

 

 

Kenk, You talked a bit about your part in parent's prep. But, a last minute phone call doesn't seem to meet any appropriate planning security check. Perhaps, you could tell us more. Do your parents have any training at all? Do you use, and do your parents understand the parts of the meeting? How do you handle a parent effort that you see as less than "Scout" worthy? Are you willing to stop a parent effort that crosses any of the myriad boundary lines?

 

Anyone have ideas that could bring Kenk back to the Good side of the FORCE? But, let's walk him carefully back, as opposed to telling him to start over. Sure, he could pick up a "Program Helps" and begin fresh, but he's out there on the ice. How close to shore does he have to come before we think he's safe?????

 

BTW, did anyone see where Bob White's head landed?? We saw sparks all across Northern Illinois!!! ;)

 

BW - especially, I'm curious. What can we do to help Kenk back-track toward a trained standard? It may be your contention that fundamentally that isn't possible. But, help me rephrase the question then, so that we get ideas that Kenk WILL USE to reach safety. I don't think we're going to get him to throw out the process and start over.

 

There's obviously some grey room here, because all our Den meetings are different. I hope we all start from a good standard like the "Program Helps", but I'm sure we run in different directions from that point. How far does Kenk have to travel to be back amongst friends?

 

jd(This message has been edited by johndaigler)

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Wow all this good stuff and no one has answered your question.....Who is responsible for getting the kids through the book?

 

Its a simple answer, everyone is! Some of the achievements are simply better suited to the home environment. The parents will be responsible for those!

 

Then pick the ones that you feel comfortable doing in the den setting. Plan out your year, based on the ones you feel comfortable doing and figure out when you want the boys to earn their badge. Now all you have to do, is to figure out how many more achievements the boys will need to complete the badge requirement and tell the parents that they are responsible for the remaining achievements.

 

The fact really is that you will be able to do much of the work in the den setting. If you leave it to the parents they wont do it or at best it will be done in a whirlwind just before its time to award the badges.

 

Remind the parents that Cub Scouts is Family based program, part of the boys enthusiasm with the program is that they get to do things with mom or dad.

 

Good Luck.

 

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Wow all this good stuff and no one has answered your question.....Who is responsible for getting the kids through the book?

 

Its a simple answer, everyone is! Some of the achievements are simply better suited to the home environment. The parents will be responsible for those!

 

Then pick the ones that you feel comfortable doing in the den setting. Plan out your year, based on the ones you feel comfortable doing and figure out when you want the boys to earn their badge. Now all you have to do, is to figure out how many more achievements the boys will need to complete the badge requirement and tell the parents that they are responsible for the remaining achievements.

 

The fact really is that you will be able to do much of the work in the den setting. If you leave it to the parents they wont do it or at best it will be done in a whirlwind just before its time to award the badges.

 

Remind the parents that Cub Scouts is Family based program, part of the boys enthusiasm with the program is that they get to do things with mom or dad.

 

Good Luck.

 

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KentK, Thousands of trained den leaders and their assistants run every meeting every week with the resources available through the BSA.

 

Here are some tips.

1) of course is get trained.

 

2) Use the program resources made available to you. The rank handbook, the how to book, the Program helps book, Boy's Life, etc. They will give you all the ideas activities and agendas you need to deliver a great yaer of scouting. Once you become comfortable with the format they offer and you learn how to interlace the resources you can begin to customize the various program selections to suit the den.

 

3) Slow down! Blue and Gold is the Birthday Party of Cubbing. Nowhere are you instructed to have the rank advancement completed by then. Your goal is to have them done with the rank requirements by the end of the school year. That's another 4 months down the road.

 

4) Who is responsible for getting the boys through the requirements. AKELA. From Tiger through Bear Akela is any adult in a position to be a positive role model to the Cub. Any Akela can test and approve a requirement. Parent, grandparents, teachers, the babysitter.

Everyone plays a role in cubbing.

 

If you did these four things you would find the role of Den Leader easier and more enjoyable and so will the boys you serve.

 

 

Johndaigler,

your posts remind me of an empty skillet...all sizzle no steak. You string together a bunch of hollow phrases none of which have any relationship to the methods of scouting. I understand your are "going to" get trained. But don't you think the helpful thing to do for others is to first learn the program BEFORE you tell others how you think it should be done?

 

 

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Johndaigler, your posts remind me of an empty skillet...all sizzle no steak. You string together a bunch of hollow phrases none of which have any relationship to the methods of scouting. I understand your are "going to" get trained. But don't you think the helpful thing to do for others is to first learn the program BEFORE you tell others how you think it should be done? ;)

Even I never got this one!!

 

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Fotoscout - you're gonna have to try harder!!!! :)

 

 

BW - MY post was filled with QUESTION MARKS. All I did was set the stage for the great Scouting minds of our times to find a teachable moment and spread a little understanding. Perhaps, instead of inappropriate criticism, you could answer a question or two . . .

 

and, I truly appreciate the HELPFULNESS, FRIENDLINESS, COURTESY, and KINDNESS with which you point out the errors of my poor efforts. Again perhaps, instead of judging my words as "hollow phrases" and "all sizzle and no steak", it would be more instructional to me and other lost souls if you actually responded to those questions. . .

 

I don't recall insulting you.

 

I was talking with an ol' pro once, you know, the kind of guy who has forgotten more about Scouting than BP ever knew. He told me how in his troop it was TERRIBLY IMPORTANT to praise publicly, but reprimand privately. Perhaps, he was worth listening to . . . Then again, perhaps those were just "hollow phrases" . . .

 

jd

(This message has been edited by johndaigler)

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  • 3 months later...

Hi

Seems like we became Dan Moms exactly the same way. No one would step up and since they were going to cancel having a bear den if no one did, I volunteered. I didn't want these boys to miss out on the experience and it didn't seem like too much trouble.

 

WOW! It hit me all at once and thankfully I only have 5 boys. We meet at the school once a week which is great because It saves me a mess or hassle in my living room.

The first 3 meetings I was so nervous. I can't even tell you how disorganized, and clumbsy I was. I had the monthly plan guide and went about crazy gathering the materials we would need to follow the laid out plan, crafts etc. It was so wierd because the meeting seemed to go by in a minute!

 

well I'm on my second month (lots more confident) and lots more in control. The advice I would give to you is do whatever you want to. Each meeting just make sure certain to have an opening and closing ceremony and keep the theme. But as far as crafts , games, projects, etc. ITS ALL UP TO YOU. you decide how to spend that hour.

 

I have definitly become close to my bear cubs. We are forming a tight, safe, and most of all fun bond together. We are headed into our first pinewood derby soon, and we've even had an Ice capades trip and put together our own newspaper.

 

My email is singmee2sleep@aol.com

 

Please feel free to email anytime you need some help, or just need someone to talk to, because I think we're on the same page of this DEN MOM thing. LOL

 

 

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I apologize. I completly spaced off your question.

 

It's everyone's responsibility.

 

Everyone should be 200% into this. Anyone who doesn't want to give effort towards advancing and teaching these boys, should be ashamed.

The way I go about this matter is this:

Its the den leaders resonsibilty to initiate or suggest the parts of the book and to remind the parents by note or calling them that their scout needs these to advance (?) and then the parents should take a very active role in reminding the scouts and doing the activities with their child and lastly Its the scouts resonsibilty to take the action and get it done.

 

hope it helps.

 

ultimatly, a effective way of handling the den will unfold and smooth itself out. You'll have a method of your own soon, you'll see.

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Cub Dens should meet once a week, maybe with the exception of the week of the Pack meeting. It saddens me to hear that some dens do not meet every week due to "other commitments, i.e., sports, etc." My questions is "Do ALL of the boys in your den play sports?" Highly unlikely. What about the boys who do not play sports???? Well, too bad, they just miss out. They don't get to meet that week because most of the boys have 'other commitments.' You give the program to the ones who attend and you should never cancel a meeting just because some of your boys have other things to do, IMHO.

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