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We have a parent assitant who wants to discipline all the boys by sending them home from a meeting when they play around or mess up, the problem is that her son is the problem but she fails to recognize this, to her it is always the other kids and even though she has said the rules would also make her son go home she constantly puts the blame elsewhere, she was my assitant den leader last year and it made life miserable for all involved. Even when her husband would literally have to chase their son around the room three or four times. She is now going to be my husbands assitant den leader and he is not looking forward to this. The other parents have all stated that if she was to be a den leader they would take their children elsewhere. What to do? boysofmine

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Easy solution: The next time that her son acts up, YOU follow her rules and send him home. She would then have to leave too (I presume) killing two birds with one stone.

 

At the next meeting the message may or may not sink in that sending the boys home at the drop of a hat is not a very good policy. What I have found most helpful at the Cub level, is to give the stage to a disruptive boy! While they like to interrupt, make snide comments, etc. while someone else is trying to get the attention of the den, when put on stage themselves (example, Billy would you please explain to the den what we are going do next?) they tend to clam up. Do this in a respectful nonpunishing manner and it tends to work very well.

 

You mention that you have a "parent assistant"; are you referring to an assistant den leader? If not, suggest that the parent become a registered scouter, as an assistant den leader, take the training, and assist! Good luck. You will find that the majority of your problems as a Scouter will be with adults and not the youth from Tioers to Eagles.

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Thank you,I have always managed to keep control when needed except for when she would chime in. We have one boy that is ADHD but with training and treatment he turned out to be the best behaved. We have a large group and all the parents and siblings also attended each meeting. I agree that the parents are always going to be where you have the most problems. I will definitely follow your suggestions and see how things go this year. We have all finished our training and love what we do with the boys.

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  • 2 months later...

Good so far. Our pack got off to a late start this year but it looks promising. We have 13 boys this year for tigers alone but I also have every parent there by the boys sides and a great group of parents. I think we will do great! Thanks for your help. We have tried to get the mom into the training program and she did sign up as assitant den leader so maybe if we keep "suggesting" she will go to the classes offered. Sometimes you just have to wait it out. I agree about the parent issue.

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When I first signed up as a den leader, I was informed by the Cubmaster that all leaders were expected to attend training, given the dates available, and asked which one(s) I'd be able to attend. I attended. It was a matter of Pack policy.

 

Perhaps suggestions are not needed, just a policy change? She'd probably go if it was presented as Pack policy.

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