family life

[Lisabob 13]

Why is it that almost every MBC for this badge in our area is a woman?

 

Not to say that women can't or shouldn't be counselors for this badge (or any other). But a badge that requires a boy to talk with his counselor about sex and what it means to be a father...might be a different conversation between a boy and a guy. I know my own son is really not looking forward to having those conversations with the kindly old grandmotherly lady who is his counselor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[qwazse 4344]

I don't have a good answer as to why. Maybe we're more matriarchal than we give ourselves credit?

 

The requirement is that he has to have a family meeting on the subject. He only has to report to the MBC that he did.

 

Does it ease his mind knowing he'll need to just bring you, dad, siblings, and pets into the conversation?

[moosetracker 132]

Sorry, I do the family life. I don't see where sex is a required topic for the discussion on fatherhood..

 

I mean, we don't go into the birds and the bees, or where do babies come from.

 

It is more a discussion of how you are responsible for supporting, nuturing, guideing and loving your children..

 

I guess a scout could bring up the subject, but it has never happened, and I don't see in the requirements a reason for me to force the subject.

 

That being said, any guy can sign up. All are welcome.

[NealOnWheels 73]

Wow,

 

Obviously the requirements have changed from the last time I looked at them.

 

But it looks like the conversation about sex is limited to a family meeting. It does not appear to me that the conversation must occur with the counselor.

[Papadaddy 121]

If I had been required to have a "family meeting" about sex, I would still be Life.

[moosetracker 132]

Oh.. That, yes that is a family meeting..

 

With the family meeting the counsilor should not get into the nitty-gritty of what the family talked about. Alot of what is discussed is going to be personal to the family buisness, the MBC has no right to nose in.

 

Did you have your family meeting?

Did you follow the guidelines suggested?

Did you discuss the topics listed?

Is a family meeting something new for your family or does your family do meetings similar to this normally?

 

This is about as detailed as they should get.

 

So the question really is how comfortable will the scout be discussing how to make resposible decisions dealing with sex in a family meeting. Which will need to be approached delicately if he has younger siblings. But it is up to the family to judge how to do so in a way that stays on a comfortable footing.

 

(This message has been edited by moosetracker)

[qwazse 4344]

The point is to encourage boys to use their family as a sounding board about sexual norms. Really, the purpose is to get beyond mechanics. For example, as a result of my son working on that requirement, I realized that the most important thing from my perspective was that my children treat every person they have an interest in as though they were someone else's spouse until they officially become their spouse. My wife put things a little differently, but it was a great opportunity to discuss an issue proactively.

 

I have no idea how much my son discussed the conversation with his counselor, but I'm glad he had it!

[moosetracker 132]

If this is a concern of his, this could be a question he raises with the MBC on the intial phone call while finding a MBC.. Have him ask how much detail from the family meeting they will expect from him.

 

If the MBC does not state that they see the family information as private to the family, and will just be asking general questions to determine how the overall meeting went, then he can thank the person for their time, but state he is looking for an MBC that respects the privacy of the family, and move on to contact a different MBC.

[Lisabob 13]

nah he's already been assigned an MBC and I guess it will all work out fine, but you guys are missing my point. Where are the men counseling this badge? Around here, every counselor I know of is a woman, and usually an older woman. I think this is one of those places where boys would benefit a lot from talking with other MEN about these kinds of things. Yet that isn't a real option, if no guys are counselors for this badge.

 

Is it different where you all are located?

 

 

[moosetracker 132]

Nope.. It is mostly women that I know. But no one states that a man can't sign up. I guess men don't look at it as a man-ly, man type of MB..

[BadenP 93]

 

My question is why does the BSA even have a Family Life MB? This is not something you can learn from a book or by talking to a stranger. It is learned by observation and experience both good and bad, and talking with your family members. IMO get rid of the badge entirely.

[moosetracker 132]

I agree 90%.. I just also have seen some sad cases, boys who did not grow up with a father having no idea what a father figure is.. I prompt them to look at their scout leaders and find some positive aspects about them, they think they might emulate if they become a father..

 

Boys who have never done a chore in their lives, they simply are not expected to. After the three months I am sure they got to sit on thier thrones once more..

 

For most it is an easy badge, for some though it has it's challenges. Now I do agree with some on a different thread where the badge shouldn't depend on the dysfunctional family, who will never do a project together.. Or will not sit down to a family meeting. Perhaps those should be rolled into a choice of a, b or c.. Some choices dependent on family involvement, but at least one choice that the scout can do without the support of family members. It is sad that their are kids in such disfunctional families, but it is the sign of the times, and we shouldn't punish the scout for it..

 

I heard similar stories with cub scouts, for example to advance in rank they need a library card. If the library in their town does not allow the child to get one without a parents signature, and the parent will do nothing to help the child, they can't get the rank.

[AKdenldr 33]

Well around here you have a choice in gender. But I wonder if the moms are signing up to counsel this merit badge because it is a way to contribute back to the program even if their scoutcraft skills are not that strong.

 

Its a big merit badge if done right and this conversation is just one of many. MT I like your approach on counseling the badge.

 

 

[kari_cardi 10]

My son's Family Life counselor was male. He was also the scoutmaster and the MB was done as a class during troop meetings, but that is a whole other issue! I agree with AKdenldr, it is one of the MBs that women would feel comfortable counseling even if they cannot contribute to scouting in other areas.

 

moosetracker, there is no Cub Scout rank that requires a library card. That is one requirement that can be chosen for a total of 7 out of 16 requirements for the Webelos Communicator activity pin. Hardly a limiting requirement. But I do see your point about family involvement or rather lack thereof and how that can roadblock advancements.

 

 

[NJCubScouter 1389]

That's been my experience too, the Family Life counselors are almost all women... and the Personal Management and Personal Fitness counselors are almost all men, at least the ones I am aware of. There's no good reason for it to be this way.