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tharrell12976

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Posts posted by tharrell12976

  1. Thanks again for all the information and recommendations.

     

    To answer some of the questions above, the Council Scout Executive (CSE) was involved and was present when the Committee imposed the punishment that they did.  A District Executive was also there.  I'm still pretty amazed that they didn't do anything.  All I can surmise is that the Scoutmaster must have told them a much different story that the others did.  Since we've caught him in several lies about what happened already (saying something different than what he said in email, changing his story, etc.), I guess I'm not surprised.

     

    Anyway, thanks for the info.  We are continuing the fight up to the national level, and we are in the process of changing troops.  I'm also gathering other examples of poor behavior by the Scoutmaster from other parents.  I am at least going to open up everyone's eyes as to what is really going on.  I have many examples of this Scoutmaster being degrading and demeaning to the boys.  Not necessarily yelling at them, but being degrading.  Always negative comments vice positive reinforcement.  Those things are a big part of why my son got upset like he did.  It doesn't make it okay to blow up, but when it builds and builds, it's difficult.

  2. Thank you everyone for listening and for the recommendations and information provided.

     

    Yes, unfortunately, this is a very difficult situation.

     

    First of all... Yes, we are finding a different Troop.  There is another one in town, and we have already reached out to the Scoutmaster there.

     

    Based on the number of people commenting and discussing, I feel like I should explain a little more about the whole story.

     

    Due to some things going on in the Troop that my son (12 years old) did not view as fair, after completing the clean up of their campsite (weekly Summer Camp) while other members of the Troop were off having fun (not cleaning up), my son decided he was tired and didn't feel well, so he laid down on a picnic table.  The Scoutmaster wanted him to go somewhere else (where other people were), but my son didn't want to go.  After several attempts at getting my son to go, and my son not going and just laying there saying he was tired, the Scoutmaster picked him up and threw him over his shoulder, because he wasn't listening.  (The Scoutmaster confirmed this in an email, that he picked him up because he wasn't listening and was just laying on the table.)  My son was already upset at this Scoutmaster, because there have been things going on in the Troop for a long time... nothing big enough to raise a huge issue about individually, but collectively, there are a lot of unfair practices going on.  Regardless, when the Scoutmaster picked him up, my son started physically hitting the Scoutmaster and swearing at him.  I do not condone this behavior.  It was wrong, and my son knows that.  After picking him up and getting hit, the Scoutmaster put him down, only to pick him up again and again and again, getting hit and swore at each time.  As I said, my son is 12 years old, and he is very small, about 80 pounds.  There is no reason the Scoutmaster had to get physical with him.  This fighting back and forth between the Scoutmaster and my son went on for about 35 to 45 minutes.  Finally, they reached the area of the Camp Headquarters, where my older son (15 years old) was.  One of the other adults alerted my older son to come help.  My older son ran over to help, and saw the Scoutmaster grabbing my 12 year old by the neck and pushing him to the ground.  The Scoutmaster's explanation was that my younger son wasn't listening and doing what he was told.

     

    The further back story is that, just a couple months prior, we found out that my son (12 year old) has been bullied in school all year long - pushed into lockers, etc.  We knew nothing about the bullying until it culminated in my son ending up in the Emergency Room after being choked out by this other kid.  This other kid is also in the same Scout Troop.  We are obviously dealing with the school on the bullying issue.  As far as Scouts goes, we did ask the Scoutmaster for my son and this other boy to not be tent-mates, etc.  No other restrictions were requested, outside of just using common sense - maybe those two shouldn't be off alone together.  However, the Scoutmaster misconstrued (intentionally in my opinion) this, and told this other kid and his father (who was at the summer camp) that they could be nowhere near my son.  This other father was the second adult in this whole situation, so he did nothing, because the Scoutmaster told him he couldn't.  This other guy is a good, decent guy, but I believe (my opinion again) that the Scoutmaster told him he couldn't do anything.

     

    So those are the key parts of the back story.

     

    As some in this post pointed out, this is only one side of the story.  I truly do appreciate that - I am usually the one pointing that out, that there are two sides to every story.  I recognize that some things are my opinion, but the things I wrote above are what were reported by those involved.  I also know that every parent wants to believe their own kids.  I recognize this as well.  However, my 15 year old son is widely respected by all adults in the Troop as a very mature boy, and I do believe what he says he saw.  He was mad at his little brother at first, until he realized what was really going on.  He also has many examples of similar things happening in the Troop with others, just may be not as bad.

     

    We got the Council involved immediately.  The Council deferred to the local Troop Committee, and was there to support.  The Council Executive attended the final meeting of the Troop Committee, where they "doled out the punishments."  My son got a long list of punishments, including not being able to advance for one year.  Further complicating this, my son has been ready for his Star rank for several months, but since the Scoutmaster refused to count his service hours (delivering items to homeless and needy people through our local Catholic Church), he was "not ready" for Star.  Our Scoutmaster only counts two things for service hours:  Eagle Projects and hanging flags on Memorial and Labor Day.  My humble opinion is that Eagle Scouts needs to figure out their manpower themselves... That is part of the project.

     

    For background, I am an Eagle Scout and Vigil OA member myself.

     

    As I mentioned earlier, I have heard from many people that it is against BSA policy to withhold advancement like that.  I also believe it is not normal policy to have such a restrictive stance on service hours.

     

    Even though we are most likely changing Troops, I am not willing to let this go.  I have heard too many things from other parents and Scouts - There is too much of this nonsense going on, and I hate to see others get hurt by it.  Scouting is very important to me and my boys, and I don't want to see others miss out on that experience.

     

    I have gone to the local Sheriff's office to discuss filing assault charges.  The bottom line is that I could do that, but without any real physical evidence (only statements from those involved), it is unlikely to go anywhere.  No surprise there.

     

    I am familiar with the normal aspects of Scouting, but I haven't been a Scoutmaster or Troop leader, so I haven't dealt with these policies, etc.  I appreciate the help those above have provided on linking me to the BSA policies, etc., so I can do some research.

     

    I also am a firm believer in responsibility and accountability.  My son is being held accountable for his actions as well.  I do not condone his behavior. He acted wrongly in hitting the Scoutmaster, and swearing at him, etc.  That is not okay by any means.  But the more I dig into it, I realize that my son was defending himself.  Nothing happened (no hitting, no swearing) until the Scoutmaster physically picked him up... again, and again, and again.... and got in his face yelling again, and again, and again.  Again, it doesn't make it all okay, but it helps explain it.

     

    Again, I am holding my son accountable for his actions.  However, the Scoutmaster has had NO accountability.  The Scoutmaster even had the audacity to blame the event on the fact that he had no other option because my son was bullied in school.  This is specifically what the Scoutmaster stated in an email - An email that was a response to my son apologizing for his actions.  Who is the adult here???  At the final Troop Committee meeting on the issue, the Troop Committee (with the Council Executive in attendance) essentially thanked him for all he has done for the Troop and that was it.  It was also particularly painful to watch the Scoutmaster be all "buddy-buddy" with the Council Executive, shaking hands and joking around, just prior to the final meeting where they discussed the punishment.

     

    So, as I said, we are most likely changing troops.  My oldest son refuses to be in the troop with this Scoutmaster (I don't blame him).  I want my boys to learn from and enjoy scouting, so it is best for them to move on.  However, I intend to continue to fight against what happened - There are too many other boys in that Troop that are going through similar issues... just maybe not as blatant.

     

    Thanks again if you're still reading this.... long, complicated story.  I know what happened was wrong... I am just working on the "evident" to fight back.

     

  3. Thank you - Yes, I definitely agree that things in the current Troop would probably not be good.  My assessment is that the Scoutmaster is liked by some, disliked by others.  And I agree that things could get worse.  We are working on finding another Troop.  My oldest son is also in the Troop (almost done with his Eagle), and he is also refusing to stay in the Troop if the current Scoutmaster remains.  He is ready to quit Scouting because of it.... Very sad, because he is extremely active, and he is great with the younger Scouts (many other parents have confirmed this).

     

    It is difficult - There aren't many Troops in town, and the current Troop is by far the most active.  There are also a LOT of GOOD people involved with the Troop.  It is just extremely frustrating that one man can ruin things for a lot of people like this.

     

    Thanks again!

  4. Thank you - Yes, we are looking for another troop.  And I completely agree - the physical contact is a huge problem.  I understand having to make decisions - If a kid is in danger or something like that, or if my son was threatening to hurt someone else (he wasn't), I totally support doing what is needed to resolve the situation.

     

    We've got the council involved.  However, the Scoutmaster is also a respected Doctor (a surgeon) in the fairly small town the Troop is in.  The Council has deferred to the Troop Committee, and the Committee won't do anything to "Dr. XXXXXX".

     

    The physical contact occurred at a Council summer camp - The camp staff had to eventually pull the Scoutmaster away from my son because he (the Scoutmaster) kept getting in my son's face, yelling at him, etc.... Basically antagonizing him.

     

    There are other kids in the Troop that have similar issues.  For example, one other boy refuses to go on any campouts if the Scoutmaster is attending.  (This Troop has lots of adult volunteer help, and often, the Assistant Scoutmasters lead the campouts.)  I could list many, many examples of similar problems.

     

    Since the Council has essentially refused to do anything, I am working to build my case to present to whoever will listen (Troop Committee, District, Council) - I will present it as we leave the Troop.  Something needs to be done.

     

    Thanks for listening - I'm working to find the policies online, etc., so I can make reference to factual BSA policies.

  5. Hi, I hope I have this in the right forum - I'm new to the site.

     

    My son (a 1st Class Scout) recently got into an altercation with our Scoutmaster.  Without going into too much detail, my son, who has never had a single disciplinary problem previously, didn't do what he was told - He didn't feel good, so he laid on a table vice going somewhere the Scoutmaster told him to.  Because of his "defiance", the Scoutmaster picked him up and threw him over his shoulder and carried him to where he was told to go.  My son fought back, hitting the Scoutmaster.  I do not condone my son's behavior, but this Scoutmaster has been mean and demeaning to many of the Scouts in the Troop - Lots of issues here.

     

    As a result of this incident, but son has essentially on "probation" and is not allowed to advance in rank for 1 year.  He is ready for his Star Rank Board of Review, with the exception that his service hours completed (delivering items to homeless and needy people through our Church) are not being "counted" by the Scoutmaster.  Our Scoutmaster only approves very limited things for service hours, usually only Eagle Projects.

     

    I've heard from some that it is specifically against BSA policy to prevent my son from advancing for something like this.  Can anyone point me to this policy?  I'm building a case against the Troop Committee, who I believe has acted wrongly, and I need some help on the policy.

     

    Thank you!

     

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