2eaglesons

I know that this topic was a few years ago but hope that people still are interested in it. The comment has come up "where is the line" for allowing special needs boys into their scouting troop. All boys are welcome in scouting. If your a good leader and are doing it for the right reasons then you find away that each boys fits in to their best ability. It's discrimination and exclusion of you don't. Just becasue a boy is on the spectrum or has another form of disability doesn't mean that they are less then and don't deserve what every other boy wants. Just like every other boy if they love scouting and love what it stands for them find a way for them to be included.

If you can't find a way for inclusion or have the mentality that they don't fit in then maybe scouting isn't for you as a leader.

Are you going to be the one to tell this boy and his family... Sorry you aren't welcome becasue your son is to much work or the other boys don't want someone who is differnt around?

Scouting can be so rewarding for a disabled boy as well as a typically functioning one... Each can learn so much from each other.

SSScout:

Thanks. Hard to believe but yes his scout master did a lot more to discourage this young man and to not support him. A lot of hard work and determination and a refusal to give up on our sons part. It was a long road for our son to find people outside the troop to work on his badges with him but they were amazing to him and they never cut him a break which is what our son wanted, to do it like everyone else. Our son was the chaplains aid for a few years and loved it. We have met with council and have sent in a letter to the local paper. Other leaders and parent blindly followed this SM who used his authority to discourage him and spread non inclusion and discrimination.

So here's hoping we can change things... Someone has to and this SM can no longer hurt our son.

Thanks!

@2eaglesons

Thank you all...

We know it's hard to believe but it's true.

Met with council yesterday and we are pursuing this further. They asked us why we didn't come to them sooner and we said that this leader is a bully and frankly we didn't want him to make it worse before he achieved his eagle rank. Council asked us if we were going to the police which we are not (there is much more to this then the few hints we have mentioned) but we are going to the paper and have written a letter to the editor. This has to stop.

We totally understand kids not liking everyone and totally understand being busy and not being able to make every COH but really, not one person was coming from the troop and not one leader? Not one leader could rsvp? Totally unbelievable. Children with disabilities are excluded every day and what we told council was we don't know the long term effect of bulling by a person in power. We don't know what this does to scouts when they are made to feel less then, excluded and bullied by leaders who condone it with the other boys in the troop. What type of message is showing the boys that his is accepted practice. We are sending council emails from one of the leaders who decided to tell us why our son is not liked in the troop and why they boys don't like him and how she's waited years to tell me. Everything she mentioned in the email was about my sons disability. Here a scout leader is making fun of his disabilities. If he could changes being autistic trust me he would.

He isn't going away and makes honor roll in school and is a very thoughtful boy but he is differnt and how dare these leaders continuing discriminating against him for it.

We are proud of him and thank you everyone. We just have said enough and this isn't what scouts is about.

Our son just had his ECOH last weekend... It's was devastating when not one leader and not one scout planned on attending. You see our son is on the autistic spectrum and was told by his Scout master no one liked him. Not even his Scout master had the decency to even rsvp, no one did. We get it that people are busy and have other commitments but what this troop leadership has done to this Eagle Scout is discriminate, ostrosozed and demean him. We also get it people have a way of not liking people with disabilities and think they are less then they are but what these leaders have shown is that it's ok to act like this and make him feel so abandoned.

Thankfully his ASM stepped up 2 days before the ceremony and apologized and brought 3 scouts from the troop. Also our older son who is also an eagle did the ceremony and her had other scouts from other troops show up to support his accomplishment. This was just the latest in the troops leadership of doing nasty things to hurt a scout with a disability. Since this is a new troop as of 5 or 6 years ago our son was the first Eagle Scout from the troop, you would have thought someone would have cared enough.

As a father of an autistic son who has been through scouts since tigers and is now approaching his 18th birthday, I have some parental perspective on the topic. I have also been a scout leader since before that as well as being a special olympics coach and have been involved in other youth programs and projects. Unless there are boys in the troop that will help your son as observed in an earlier post, I'm sorry to say, boy scouts seems to have little positive to offer. The adults are very unlikely to try to understand your son's needs and opportunities to grow and will not be likely to want to learn. Although BSA has the disabilities awareness merit badge, disabilities that are not physical get little sympathy or understanding. The attitude is more to keep special kids separate even offering special needs troops so other kids are not exposed to them. I am not sure how much is due to pressure from parents to protect their kids from "different" kids or if that feeling comes from the leaders themselves.

 

Because of my extensive experience with BSA, special Olympics, and other youth organizations I have a perspective broader than most. I wish I could be more positive but I have yet to experience an exception to this scout experience even though I have worked with hundreds of scouters. What I discovered was that since I had my own son in the troop, I was assigned to deal with the kids with issues who did not have parents along.

 

If you wish to have an autistic son go though the scouting program, you will have to be his leader adn don't expect your responsibilities to be limited to your son. The desire to ignor your son by others will appear most during and after summer camps and other large group activities even though you will be required to attend also. Advancement and merit badge records will not be credited or recorded. You will help your son repeat the work the next time only to have the same neglect delay his advancement. Since you will be an adult, you will be expected to help other kids as well and you can bet, they will not be the issue free kids. Considering the cost, rules, etc. it becomes a judgment call if your son will get any benefit or if your time would be better spent elsewhere.

 

Autism is spectrum, not an on-off switch. It occurs to varying degrees and will be mixed with other personality traits and likely other cognitive impairments. One autistic kid will not likely be like another. Autism is unlike most other disabilities in that the kids may be very intelligent just unable to deal with stimulus or verbal communication. Like other disabilities, they can have fears most people do not understand even exist and will often act out because of the fear. The people interacting with special needs kids should learn to deal with the fear and positive behavior will follow. If they can master that, they will find a lot less problems with "normal" kids as well. Too many adults resort to fear to control kids and it completely backfires with special kids. I would argue it fails with normal kids too, they just know better how to get away with things. From my experience, scouts could use a lot more education in this area. I have seen the confrontational type of discipline exhibited by the youth leadership in scout troops, OA and at scout functions with adults practically nodding approval. Even when leaders were warned, my son was confronted for his own OA tap out and was terrified. Even though twice elected, I chose not to subject him to ordeal and as a result, he does not have his arrow sash. The many ignored advancement achievements cost him advancement as well leaving me to wonder if it was all worth it. I dont plan to stay involved with scouting because of these experiences even though the thanks I get from young adults and parents has been wonderful. I became a scout leader because parents asked me to. I was specifically asked to be a father figure for their kids.