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Bloop

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Posts posted by Bloop

  1. Maybe I'm missing the heart of this question. But why would a cabin trip need to "count" to be valuable? Have you seen it "counting" in the forums or only mentioned as a trip that happened.

    Huddling together in a cold smelly cabin is hugely rewarding in building community in troop and patrol. It certainly "counts" for "being active" for unit. 

    Logistically it's harder to implement in BSA than for girls in GS or AHG and thus it's rare for my BSA troop. But it's wonderful for when they're losing their sense of belonging. 

  2. Has anyone else found that the merit badge program is great for introducing concepts but neglects boys with any expertise?

    I discovered this during a BoR for Eagle. This wonderful young man was competing and placing in sailing at a state level and had even gone to national competition. But when he wanted to earn the badge, the ONE counselor in a 50 mile radius said he couldn't work with him unless he had *witnessed* him sailing. That the boy should come to camp XYZ. In the end, he could never earn this badge when plenty of boys do with far lesser skills and knowledge.

    I've found this occuring with Music and Theatre. It is difficult to get "credit" for accomplishments that boys earn out of Scouting. It's as if it didn't happen at a merit badge factory, it didn't happen.

    For me, as a very ironic counselor for Personal Fitness, I find it almost embarrassing to micromanage accomplished athletes. But I try to focus on their goals and training rather than being pigeon held by the sit and reach. 

     

    • Upvote 2
  3. Thank you! You're right. I would have lost them in the first sentence if I invented new points of the Law.

     

    Among the points of our Scout Law, we pledge to be Brave, Courteous and Kind. In our Oath we promise to help other people at all times. We all come from different backgrounds but we as scouts all believe in the same Oath and Law. If we follow that, our compass will always point us in the right direction. Scouts need to be Brave by standing up against bullying, but that isn’t easy.

    • Upvote 2
  4. Thanks to Mash, and a site for teens on bullying, here's my SM Minute for tonight.

     

    I welcome suggestions.

     

    Among the points of our *Scout LAW* we pledge to be Respectful and Brave. Courteous and Kind. A scout should always be respectful of others. We all come from different backgrounds but we as scouts all believe in the same Law and Oath. If we follow that, our compass will always point us in the right direction. Scouts need to be Brave by standing up against bullying, but that isn’t easy.

     

    Whenever there’s a terrible case of bullying in the news, people wonder, “How could this happen?†and “Why didn’t anyone come forward earlier to stop this?†"How did it get so bad" There are no easy answers to these questions. Some people say nothing out of fear—because they don’t want to be the next target.

     

    Here are a few other ideas of how folks can to turn a blind eye to bullying.

     

    Belief 1: “Everyone one else is okay with this. I’ll be weird if I don’t go along with it.â€

    People overestimate how comfortable their peers are with bad behavior. Psychologists call this pluralistic ignorance. People go along with what they think everyone else thinks is okay. We can end up uncomfortably laughing at a creepy joke. We can end up with everyone doing something that no one really wants to do.

     

    Belief 2: “It’s not my job to stop this bullying.â€

    Psychologists call it diffusion of responsibility, when everyone assumes that someone else will intervene. We know from first aid training that the bigger the group of bystanders, the less likely people to help someone in need. We know someone needs to take action. Either by speaking up directly or informing responsible authorities— deciding to take action is key to stopping bullying.

     

    Belief 3: “This doesn’t count as bullying.â€

    Rationalizations are things we say to ourselves to excuse bad behavior. They could include comments such as: “I survived it, so it’s not that bad.†“He deserves it, because he’s weird or annoying.†“They’re just joking around†These rationalizations don’t excuse cruel behavior.

     

    Belief 4: “This bullying too awful to be true.â€

    This is simple denial. Sometimes we just don’t want to believe things that shake our world. We assume that regular people that we know couldn’t be so awful. We assume "My friends/neighbors… would never do that!"

     

     

    Edmund Burke once said: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men should do nothing.â€

     

    Please be the good that does something.

    • Upvote 1
  5. Was there a question there? Okay here are some.

     

    He must join as an ADULT volunteer and complete YPT. Okay.

     

    But he wants to participate like a Scout.

     

    Can we keep him as adult an let him work on skills though First Class? Like a s.l.o.w. IOLS training?

    • Upvote 1
  6. We have a young man that joined the troop. He was obviously disabled and very excited to "Earn lots of badges and be an Eagle Scout."

     

    He lives at home and we *finally* got a hold of his mom after him getting rides to meetings for several weeks. We haven't had a lot of questions answered but his mom says that he's been perseverating about joining Boy Scouts especially since he *graduated* high school.

     

    He lied. He filled out the form as a 15yo. He even "forged" his mom's signature by printing it in the same handwriting as the rest of the form.

     

    Mom: You're too old for Boy Scouts

    Son: But I was a Boy Scout

    Mom: You were 15 then

    Son: Okay

     

    Joined the troop saying he's 15 wearing a very ill-fitting shirt from when he was actually 15.

  7. We found a "Lumberjack" weekend. Which has lumberjack themed stations. Kinda like Klondike Derby without Cubs, stations are more challenging. Lots of interest.

     

    We found a rocket building challenge. Not scouting, but scout teams could participate. No interest from the boys but the one that suggested it.

     

    Also ScubaJam. I don't see this as a competition event at all. But the boys seemed to think so. HUGELY popular w/ my Scouts.

     

    And a patrol completion of small water ballon trebuchets and water cannons.

  8. I'm putting together a list of competition events for my Scouts. They're planning the annual calendar this week. I *really* want them to choose one as I think they *need* the team building experience of launching a pumpkin on their trebuchet or Davy Jonesing to the bottom of a lake in their cardboard boat.

     

    Boy led and chosen. But adult offered/encouraged.

     

    Can you name some events like that? So far I have 2 pumpkin chuckin events, a cardboard boat and a Lumberjack event.

     

    State doesn't matter much, because I think such cool events have a version anywhere. Unless it's *very* specific to a facility.

  9. I get frustrated when I feel I've been snowed by a kid or anyone. But my optimism ultimately isn't a character flaw or integrity failure.

     

    Both in advancement rules as meschen said and in your own dignity. I don't think you should "renig" your word. If you feel Scout Spirit is a weak area, let him and his SM know as a focus for the next advancement.

     

    Think about it. A scout that is less than a model scout got in trouble. He was then "forced" to teach kids about knots. I'm not sure that's something that can really be "forced" unless you also want to punish his students. It sounds like it went well. Well enough for him to take pride. Maybe those kids really learned some knots. That may be all the Spirit he has at this point, hope it seeds more.

     

    Pretty much every Scout-led instruction started w/ an adult or SPL asking, "Hey Jimmy, would you..." It may not be an example of initiative but it's still a great stepping stone for leadership.

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  10. Other than sleep depravation, hello up at 5 for something or another, camp shouldn't be stressful at all. And yeah, Momma Bear hadn't stayed at camp. She just arrived family night and had been up for "ice cream night."

     

    Eagle77, I don't blame anyone for not being sensitive to Grumpysaurus' needs because nobody has a crystal ball. Sensitivity is what adults that KNOW and care about him are for. And we were correcting, sitting out with and guiding him all along.

     

    She may not have known his situation any more than the good folk here. But all the more reason to leave discipline to the SM & ASMs that do know him.

     

    I really tried to be as objective as possible and tried to see/present him from her (limited) perspective. But honestly, I'm just getting more disgusted. No child deserves her attack and completely innocent boys suffered to witness it as adults were as impotent to stop her as they were.

     

     

     

    As luck would have it Scout1 was out for our meeting this and next week. Mom and her Scout2 were out doing a scout related thing.

     

    Committee decided that we need to pull aside Mom & DadASM w/ a couple neutral (not there) Committee members. Almost a "lets see what she does." We want to see some contrition and willingness for a time out for her. The Eddie Haskel acts of her own "perfect" snowflake may be a part of the convo. Expecting a HUGE blow up and exodus that takes out all 3, but hoping for better.

     

    We will have a Scout1 and parent convo. I expect some angsty "everybody picks on me" defensiveness. But getting him to own up to his flaws seems way more likely than getting her to do so.

     

    Apologies warranted all around. It started pretty well tonight with the SM & ASMs. And the Senior Patrol. Then everyone was appoligizing for everything ever.

     

    Pheonix Rising. Fingers crossed.

  11. I guess any leniency given the boy is due to a long custody situation that just had a dramatic ruling. Again, no major act on his part, just generalized grumpiness and an uncooperative nature. But it seems all the boys know he has "stuff going on at home."

     

    I was away one night for an OA event but parent has approached me that it was "parent ice cream night" - geeze - Mom had a run in with the boy over her precious snowflake. Not nearly on this scale but she (reportedly) was unfair and inappropriate then too. Had it been mentioned sooner, her butt wouldn't have been near camp. She was waiting to snap on him.

  12. S1: Went home that night and skipped dinner. His dad's a scouter and is aware that she went over the line with him but also knows he's been 'difficult' lately. They were headed on vacation but he seems content that we'll handle it. Mom is out of the loop.

     

    S2 got tapped at the campfire Friday night and both Mom and Dad stayed for it. Dad seemed willing to be pleasant for the ceremony and Mom seemed to stew. Dad & son packed up and went home Sat morn on their own. No further contrition or indignant acts.

     

    They won't be at the Commitee meeting.

     

    Maybe they were planning to leave already and she decided to'go out' in a 'blaze of glory.'

     

    No other non-leader adults at the moment of the incident and our site was very isolated. But shortly after a few parents arrived as kids were rumbling. Grumpy surely bemoaned every step of the way to admin. One kid wanted to go home because the "kids were crazy and the adults were crazier." Dinner and campfire looked like nothing happened.

     

    No idea about the 'grapevine' static but it can't be good.

  13. We had a parent that came to camp on the last day flip out on one of our Scouts.

     

    This Scout HAD been a pill all week. He would pout, refuse to do things and was snappish. No one big thing but grumpy enough to give himself stinkface in a mirror.

     

    Then, he said to a kid "Out of my chair". A Mom told him to "Shut up and stop being such an asshole". Then she cotinued telling him what a "rude smart ass" he was over and over. Followed him to his tent (ignoring people trying to stop her) to yell at him some more and to hear if he dared grumble (he did). Then her husband got up in it. It took some crazed yelling at her to FINALLY get her to stop.

     

    She's always been an excellent volunteer that is never given us any trouble. But as Commitee, I think we're obligated to ban her from trips.

     

    I feel so badly for her son. Obviously he must have "tattled" about the boy to his mom but who could have anticipated THIS? The boy is not responsible for his mother's behavior but he sure is catching the embarrassment. His family threatened to quit the troop because "we tolerate rude behavior from boys and attack adults who put their foot down." He's a great (young) scout on his way to Eagle.

     

    We haven't sent any communication to parents to address any of this. but we had a whole troop of mesmerized Scouts watching all this.

     

    I don't know if I even have a question in all of this. We're having a committee meeting right before our regular meeting this week. Any guidance is welcome.

  14. There's a lot of background and frustration behind my questions, but I'll keep it uncluttered for now. How often are patrols restructured? If Scouts in a Troop are also in a Venturing Crew, should those Crew members be a patrol when they're in Troop meetings? How boy led is the assigning of patrols?

  15. The writing: We have a Scoutmaster's Conference form. I personally love it. The boys take time to reflect before the conference. They can then can answer questions like, "How have you done a Good Turn Daily" with specific examples. Instead of, "Um. I help people." Cumulatively they can see the progress they made from rank to rank. Most boys write it up on their own. Some full sentences, some a couple words bulleted. Even if they had a parent or sibling scribe to put thoughts to paper or just did it in their heads, it helps. This kid types up all sorts of things. He doesn't read off it or even look at it while he's doing advancement. But he sure is eager to show you. His menu was elaborate and specified how much of bulk product was used for the trip vs. his family so the patrol wouldn't have to pay for that. He deserves First Class. I think his advancement will naturally come to a much slower pace. The leadership, that peers can actually enjoy, is not there and he can't book smart it. He needs to have more social fun. He's a little me first and prone to interrupt. I've actually given the expectation to not pounce on me with his book without encouraging a peer to come for something first. As for the orienteering course. That's been taken care of, I can be pushy too :-) *I* know the other child was signed off more easily but hopefully the boy and his father don't realize it. He was happy to prove what he did in, exhausting, detail. I agree that we need to put this back in the hands of the boys. For bow they teach/approve a skill and and adult confirms it.

  16. Thanks to all that have responded. Our SM requires that things be signed off by ASMs or himself. We have a pocket of Scouts that are having to "relearn" skills I feel they never knew because their patrol leaders signed off. I mean *basics*. My 8-year-old know a match can't light a log, my 6-year-old scouts do too. Still, if that was a problem the time to fix it would be at a Scout Master's conference. And to give some guidance to the patrol leaders waiving them through. We do have boys teaching. And they provide great feedback on what is known and what needs work. So I'd really like to put it back in their hands. But right now while we have a whole patrol of the dad's competitive AOL Pack zooming through to First Class and leaders being snippy about it... Meh. That's more push back than is fair to those only slightly older boys. Maybe for next year. It's kinda ironic. SM and a particular ASM finding dad to be an insufferable know-it-all. Pots, meet Kettle. I mean that with admiration to them, but that part makes me laugh. Just not the boy getting caught in the middle. As for dad. Yeah. That's a work in progress. I thing he's darn near bit his lip off many times while hovering in silence.

  17. For what it's worth, I will only sign off on my son's merit badges if he attended a session with me with other Scouts. If his access to me is primarily due to me being his mom in his house, I won't sign. Scholarship and Reading are good examples. We can talk about and practice the skills, discuss quality of work, etc, but I think he still needs to pick up the phone and call a counselor that never saw him in diapers. I think Buguling would be an exception. It's time-consuming and there's soooo few people teaching and going for the badge. If you're the only one in a 50-mile radius, he shouldn't be excluded from the opportunity that you offer. Maybe he can learn the calls with you over the course of a few months. And then he can demonstrate and get them signed off by someone else in council or at camp. That would be the slightly out of his comfort zone that's the unofficial benefit. All that said, it irks me when people make up rules that don't exist instead of saying what they really mean.

  18. Hi. I am Assistant Scout Master for BSA and with AHG. I am also Special Education teacher. I, proudly, think I'm one of the reasons that our troop has quite a few boys with ASD and other challenges. But the best reason is that we have really awesome boys that make everyone feel welcome and included. Our newest challenge is for our leaders is that we now have a *parent* with Aspergers. Brilliant, Intense, Pushy, Long-winded, Dedicated... He has great ideas, his ability to sell them to folks is rough. His son is very bright, knowledgeable and motivated. He bridged in March and wanted to get to First Class in 6-months. I agreed with the other leaders that this was an aggressive goal, but he really is meeting and exceeding the requirements. Without required timelines, I can't find a reason to deny signing off something he's demonstrated. He however does have have a 504 for speech (stammers) and Dysgraphia (hand writing). So because his speaking is halted (give him a minute, he'll get the words out) and can barely scrawl out a sentence (but types out 60+ words a minute)... Well, everyone assumes his "overbearing" dad is pushing him through and typing up work for him. I feel that this boy isn't really being treated fairly. Yes. His dad is overbearing and even if he doesnt say a word, he's always hovering in the background when the boy would probably coast at a slower pace if not for dad. But knows his stuff. Twice as many knots as our Eagles. He knows almost every section of the book verbatim (so he doesn't stammer) but can answer any question in his own words if you give him a minute. He set up, completed and led a 4-hour Orienteering course that only one other Scout and parent attended. His completion was turned down for First Class because a leader wasn't there. There's no such rule! He *more* than demonstrated the skill and was able to show it to us. But the boy that *came* to his course was approved by a leader. Everything he does is met with intense scrutiny and bombarding him with questions and reprimanding any ASM (not just me) that signs off on anything. The assumption is that it's his dad doing and pushing everything. It seems pretty easy to get leaders on board with welcoming and accommodating a Scout whose differences make him trail behind. But give us a parent and Scout that are out-geeking and out-Scout skilling us and our own sons, and the sky falls. Thoughts? I'd like to tactfully and appropriately meet this child's uniqueness with the more subtle goals of Scouting. To get dad to back off a bit so we can feel the boy has time to enjoy the experience. For myself to not miss the point and be the "pushover sign-off Mommy." And get us to appreciate the intensity of the Dad. He really has a lot to share with us and the boys.

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