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ParkMan

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Everything posted by ParkMan

  1. Hi @Eagle94-A1, Thanks a lot for the description of what's going on. You articulate it very nicely. First - one Scouter to another - you've got my support. At the end of the day, you've got to run the program that makes sense for your troop. It definitely sounds like the father is less than respectful in how he's dealing with you guys. It's most certainly not cool that he's running off to hotels and not telling anyone. That alone would be a reason for me to let the family leave without an attempt to change their minds. If I take the Scout's situation at face value - I'm les
  2. I'm playing a little devil's advocate here - so please bear with me... Looking at it differently. Here we have a Scout who is clearly not interested in sleeping in a tent without his father (parents?). I'm sure this is largely a result of how the parents are raising him. Our "big purpose" as Scouters is to develop these young adults. The "game" we play to accomplish that is Scouting. We deal with all kinds of mistakes from Scouts because we're going after the big goal of developing these kids. If Scouts can't make mistakes in Scouting, then where? Here you all know thi
  3. Just wondering though... What's the benefit to the Scout by so angering the family that they leave? Is getting the Scout go tent with other Scouts an issue important enough to have a separation over?
  4. I always thought they were separate events too. I'd have Scouts receive the AOL as soon as they earned it. The crossover was at a fixed time later in the year. I just read the crossover script. It was a bit hokey for me, but that's just my style. But, I think you still have them attend and conduct it. In my mind, the OA are still the group of senior, distinguished scouts - an impressive bunch. They would seem the best group to encourage Scouts when they cross over.
  5. If we're honest - training really isn't necessary at all. Scout troops will continue to exist and kids will get the experience of being a Scout. We have training for anything to provide the opportunity to learn so that we can perhaps do a better job at what we do. Training doesn't guarantee that. Hopefully it does give you a few tools you can use. Personally, I think trainong is a good thing. Howevet, if someone isn't open to training or is confident enough in their own abilities already, then they shouldn't go. I find the negative Wood Badge comments curious. Yes, I agre
  6. FWIW We see all kinds of mistakes in Scouting - that's part of why we have Scouting. Usually we're seeing mistakes being a Scout, or being a Camper, or whatever outdoor skill is involved. Sometimes kids make mistakes at being a person. For whatever reason, a Scout starts going off the rails in terms of how he treats others. These kind of things can end up being really positive for the bully too. So, while it's human nature to be apprehensive about dealing with these kinds of issues, I'd be less confrontational and look at is as teaching yet another lesson to the Scout involved.
  7. The first thing I'd do is have a discussion about the concerns among the core leadership team - CC, SM (I think you said the position is in transition), key ASMs, etc. Everyone should get on the same page that there is a concern and should share what they know. After that, I'd do 3 three things: 1) talk with the scout(s) who may have been bullied. As what happened and listen. 2) talk with the scout that has been accused. Talk about bullying and that some people think he's being a bully. Discuss what has happened to date and what he thinks he has done. See if he thinks he's
  8. I looked around your troop website and cannot seem to find a time for the meeting. Often they list this on the troop website, but they didn't here. Sorry.
  9. Good. However, from what you just described sounds like district level meetings. A roundtable is a training meeting for district leaders. They fellows you mention are district level people. A district is the city/county level organizational grouping within Scouting. There's usually about 50 troops and packs in a single district. You need to find the Troop Committee meeting. This is the leadership meeting for just your troop. It's different. Feel free to PM me your troop number and I'll see if I can find it for you. It seems counter-intuitive, but individual troops do not re
  10. Hi @Mich08212, I'm a Troop Committee Chair and have been for a while. Why not just go to the next committee meeting and ask what's up? They are all generally public meetings. If someone came to ours and had a question like this, we'd take the time to answer.
  11. I'm terribly sorry to hear about the frustration this has brought yoh. You've brought a lot to this forum. If this ends up being it - I wish you the very best.
  12. Barry, You don't know me. I did not start name calling. I think you started the self righteousness comments towards me. I've bent over backwards to make my point without criticizing anyone's beliefs. I simply said that I am concerned that given the consistent comments in this discussion about transgender kids not being normal it would become spill over into similar comments to this kids themselves. Is that such a stretch when we had a post from one of our members who didn't even want to even be in the same summer camp as transgender kids? In other places, I'd say that a number of the
  13. Many kids who go through this do not change their biology. For them, they do not need to. They already feel that they are the other gender and so physical steps are not necessary. But, yes, some do. Again - all I'm asking is that we be mindful of the rhetoric around the Scouts - all the Scouts. You may not have yet met a transgender kid, but it is coming. These kids have hard enough life as it is. @Hedgehog's crew sounds like a great group. If you are some day faced with these kinds of decisions please simply do the same.
  14. I met the first kid I knew who was coming to terms with with gender identity questions about 5 years ago. The kid has not transitioned, but was clearly trying to figure things out. In the back of my mind I thought - it has to be easier if the parent stops this. Over time I got to know the kid and realized he was like every other kid - but his struggle was gender identity. About two years ago I found out that a kid that I have known for his whole life was going to counseling for gender identity issues. I've known this kid all his life. He's a wonderful kid - has the same struggles as
  15. It's covered in the interview. He makes it pretty clear it is up to the CO.
  16. It's the tone of the way people refer to it here. Such as: On the surface it seems innocuous enough. But, it leads me to be concerned that folks will treat transgender kids as an oddity or even . This topic is full of comments about how they don't think transgender kids are "normal". I'm an optimist, bu t it's hard to trust that all the folks who commented here are going to warmly embrace a transgender scout in their troops.
  17. My understanding is that each troop is to work with the scouts parent and the BSA professional staff to develop the processes that makes sense for that youth and the other Scouts. It could include sharing tents if everyone felt it was appropriate. I saw a doc from one of the councils with details - but cannot seem to find it now.
  18. I mean this in the nicest way possible - but it does not matter to me what your personal beliefs are on this topic. My point is that as Scouters we need to leave our personal feelings on this topic at home. If a transgender kid shows up in your troop you need to accept him and support his involvement in Scouting. The scout should never know that you disagree with the guidance of his family (and probably a healthy number of professionals) on his gender identity. Again - it's is not our place as Scouters to do discourage Scouts who are transgender. I'm making this point because it wo
  19. In my experience no parent wants the harder life the being transgender brings. If you really don't believe that a kid is transgender, then report it as abuse.
  20. I know two transgender youth. I am not an expert of the topic, but understand it well enough to know where we need to start advocating on their behalf. Yes - these boys face a difficult life. The last thing they need is a bunch of Scout leaders trying to tell them they are not normal. My point was - and continues to be - that you need to leave these beliefs at home. These kids need a little normalcy and the best thing you can do for them is to help them get it.
  21. The term is gender identity. @shortridge describes it a few posts up. In short - yes, if a person believes he is a boy, then his gender identity is that he is a boy. You may not personally believe that - and that's fine. But, in the context of Scouting - if a kid shows up and he and his parents say he is a boy - then yes, he's a boy. Outside of Scouting, feel free to challenge that. But, inside Scouting we support him.
  22. Actually saying they have a condition is offensive. You don't pretend they are a boy - you accept that they are a boy
  23. I do mean support. I'm not suggesting that you have talks with the scout about being transgender. In fact, if a Scout wants to talk about being transgender, you ought to suggest he talk with his parents. We need to support the Scouts as they progress through the program. If a transgender scout is having a tough time In the troop you help him. If the Scout needs coaching about being a Scout or getting along with others- you help him. In short, you show an interest in helping that Scout have a fantastic experience in Scouting. You go out of your way to help him be successful. If you
  24. In Scouting - yes. We're here to support kids - not judge them because of how they or their family define gender. At home, at church, or other places no.
  25. Welcome to 2018. You may not want to have to deal with it, but it's just part of contemporary society. The BSA didn't get to decide if this would be a topic any more than you or I - they just got to decide how the group would respond. The BSA is pretty late to the game, but they've done what just about every other group that deals with kids has. In any issue like this - there are those out in front of it, those that follow along, and those that get dragged to it. The BSA was absolutely not a leader here - it is just following along. I am sympathetic that you're getting dragged
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