mama_bear

Hi Everyone! I have been away for awhile but its great to be back.

I need some help, ASAP! Our pack is fairly new. This is our third year but we are very active. I am a Bear's Den Leader and want to make a den totem/doodle for our den. I saw the examples in the "How to Book" but would love any additional ideas that you may have on how to make them. Also, if you can give any suggestions on how the boys could earn the beads and what colors to give for which activities. I know that there is no set format but I would like to know what has worked best for you and what things have gone over best with the boys. Perhaps I could encourage the rest of the pack to make one if I can get my den excited.

I agree with gsmom. The fact that there was a witness, noticeable cut on the mouth and an apology by the leader is enough evidence for me. I understand that at times we think that if we just sit back and be passive perhaps the relationship will approve, but it won't. If your son is already seeking therapy for undisclosed reasons, please do not add to his emotional baggage by leaving him in this stressful situation. Doing so will only result in his resentment and displeasure for scouting. You need to find him a new troop immediately! I would also be very weary of him atending camp with this leader.

If you are truly concerned for your son, then get him out of this abusive situation. And then feel free to deal with all parties involved. I'm sure your son will blossom under the right leadership and in time he will adjust and make new friends.

Good luck!

Mr. Morgan, as a victim of racism, I can honestly say that racism is promoted by separation and isolating of the races. Racism is like a disease that feeds off of ignorance. It always amazes me when people make comments to me. Instead of becoming angry and storming away, I feel as God has opened a door for me to educate and communicate with this person that we are not that different after all.

That what makes us different, also makes us special and unique and its hard for anyone to see the beauty in themselves when you can't see the beauty in others.

Mr. Morgan, do you have a diverse pack? I hope your views on separation of the races are in no way apparent to these children.

Let us not forget that there have been too many wars fought and lives lost over the separation of races and "territory". When will we learn that this is an idea that should not be allowed to fester. Can you honestly tell me that when children of different races play together that they truly care about each other's skin color. No.

Just a side bar...

The son probably picks on the other boys because that verbal abuse and threats you experienced is probably just a taste of the venom that boy receives from his dad.

He (ASM) needs to be put on a short leash.

I applaud your passion and refusal to simply pass the buck.

I agree with scoutldr. I agree these boys would be better served in a troop but I think you have to be careful how you tread from there. The most important thing is that there must be some interest on behalf of these boys in scouting. (Remember you can bring a horse to water but you can't make them drink.) If these 3 scouts come from a turbulent background, behavioral issues in a structured environment are to be expected. But scouting may later serve as one of the most important gifts you can offer them. In the right environment, I think anyone can blossom. Before speaking to the grandmother or boys I would Contact District about other troops or even speak to the Scoutmaster for your pack. I would inquire to the possibility of forming another troop, if you could have these 3 boys each recruit a friend. Perhaps there are more boys from the church group who would be interested in joining. I would also have an honest talk with the scoutmaster regarding their needs and interest. I would see if anyone knew of any possible leaders who are used to dealing with boys with these special needs. You would be surprised what you could learn if you just inquire. Maybe there is a strong male or parent involved in the Pack or church that has similar backgrounds or upbringings.

Then once I was armed with all the arsenal I could uncover, I would sit down with the 3 boys and their guardians and a representative from the troop and explain to them the differences between cubscouts and boyscouts. I would present it in such a way that the boys wouldn't think that you were just passing them off or abandoning them.

You have been placed in a difficult but rewarding position. That is to place the passion of scouting into these boys. It may give them the solid foundation, everlasting camaraderie and discipline they need to become men with goals, ambition and direction. Pass the torch wisely!(This message has been edited by mama_bear)

Well-spoken, scoutldr!

Wow, as we grow older do we grow wiser or just more cynical. We are so ready to throw doubt upon this scout's achievements. There are so many other important underlying topics we could be discussing. Whether or not this scout thoroughly accomplished all the requirements for each badge is really a moot point since he has been awarded then and they can not be taken back. So if he was not qualified to receive Eagle and 130 MB, doesn't blame lie with the adults involved and the entire scouting community. These young boys take an oath. And it is our job to explain to them the meaning and importance of that oath in our words and actions. And by us casting doubt and accusations at this scout, we also place ourselves in an unpleasant light. We should applaud the young man for his perseverance and desire to overcome his numerous ailments. Does everyone really understand what a feat this might have been. Due to his medical condition, scouting might be his only opportunity to blend in and join his peers. If that is the case then wouldn't that type of environment encourage him to blossom and shine. And any boy who can be trusted to solely check his own insulin levels 4x a day, can be trusted to lead my son.

I don't mean to preach or lecture because the concerns raised are somewhat valid but look at all the good that could come from all this. Perhaps some boy, parent or neighbor read this story and was inspired to join. Isn't scouting about making a difference in a boy's life. What a wonderful opportunity for us all.

I know becoming an Eagle is quite a phenomenal and challenging feat, especially at the age of 12 but is it truly impossible? There have been other children who have inspired and awed us with their great feats, the Anne Franks and Tiger Woods of the world.

(Sorry, off my soapbox.)

I have found myself thinking the same thought, is the neckerchief a necessity or a mere fashion statement? I mean would a scout be any less distinguished in his uniform without it. I feel as though we need to update it or eliminate it. If asked what changes should be made to the uniform, the removal of the neckerchief would be at the top of my list.

I applaud your dedication to this den. This is a site I found that gives you 130 Den Meeting Activity Suggestions. Of course not all of these will work but it will give you a solid base.

www.powwow-online.net/tips/130suggestions.htm

Perhaps your enthusiam will be contagious to all involved.

Good luck!

Bravo! I think your list serves as a great outline to all troops.(This message has been edited by mama_bear)

I agree with sagerscout. Something in your post raised a red flag. I sense there are concerns or past issues with this troop to cause you to have concern about being "just a name on paper." If that is the case then your meeting should address this issue before you continue.

Good luck and I admire your commitment. Keep us posted.

Thank you everyone for your wise advice. I especially like the profound mesage left by OldGreyEagle. I never thought of it that way. Often as parents, we worry too much about if we are doing what is best for our children. My son loves scouting and it is a blessing that he has found something that gives him such great joy and acceptance.

When I decided to accept a leadership role next year, I sat down with my son and explained to him that my time would have to be split evenly and fairly among all the boys and he accepted and ackowledged that fact. I then asked him if he would prefer to be put in another leader's den. I understand Acco40's dilemma about fairness and also realize that having a scout allows us a wonderful opportunity to get a boy's opinion and point of view regarding den activities and meetings.

By the way, I do require his den leaders to sign off on his book and projects so that we have no problems down the road. I also have him bring in his posters or projects to meetings. ( More his idea than mine.) At the last meeting, each scout was asked to do a science project for the den, my son had practiced at home and I knew he was prepared and excited. ( You would think he was doing a magic show.) But at the meeting, the majority of the parents explained the project and how it worked why the child performed it. Of course my son turned to me and thought I would do the same. I refused and although very nervous, he explained in his own 8 year old way his science project, even asking questions of the other scouts. When it was over I could see the look of pride and accomplishment in his eyes. In the car he asked why I didn't go up there with him. I explained that it was HIS project and that scouting was about doing your best and I felt he had.

I have a question/concern. This is my son's first year in scouting, a Wolf, and he loves it. My son started a new school this year and had great difficulty adjusting and making friends. The kids teased him and the teacher was of no help. Thank God for scouting. My son came home from school excited about the Cubmaster visiting his class and asked me every night about the upcoming meeting. Well I am proud to say he has really blossomed. The problem is that in our pack we have divided up into 2 Dens. One den has great leaders: organized,prepared and they keep great records. The other den, ours, are very weak leaders, when they are even present. The boys never received their awards or recognition at pack meetings because they would misplace the information. This was so disheartening that when they asked for volunteers to keep records, I volunteered. Of course, I have been asked to a lot more than just recordkeeping but that's another story. And yes, I have been asked to be a bear leader next year. And yes, I will. The CM has decided to rejoin the dens until the end of the year.

My question is my son has really advanced quicker than the other boys. I have tried to encourage the other parents by sending emails and progress updates and it seems to work but he is still very far ahead of the others. Well my son was lightheartedly called "our little overachiever" in the den bead cermony, which he loved but I'm concerned. He has received his Wolf badge and has finished 55 electives. He has several belt loops, pins and various badges. We never miss a scout outing or meeting. I have never push him to do anything. He really loves it. He's an A honor student and I think he loves scouts because he's made so many friends and excel at it. Should I try to slow him down? We still have 2 more months before our crossover camp. Adults are already talking about when he's an Eagle and I'm just afraid that this might be too much pressure. Please give me any input. He wants his Conservation Badge and needs to complete 2 more electives should I have stop working on electives after those two? Please advise. Is that too many electives? How many arrow points can you earn? (Sorry so long but our pack is only 2 years old and everybody is pretty new so I don't have anybody I can really talk to.)