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fboisseau

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Posts posted by fboisseau

  1. This is not a problem child, this is a problem parent. I am tried of hearing parents EXCUSE their kid's bad behavior on ADD/ADHD problem. Before anyone jumps in my stuff about not knowing what I am talking about let me give you a little history.

     

    Nine years ago my wife and I took into our home her niece(5 at the time) and nephew(3 at the time) because their mother was a drug addict and was neglecting/abusing them, the father was in jail at the time and was not much better. When we got the kids the following behaviors where normal in our house, hitting each other, hitting my wife, yelling/screaming, throwing/kicking stuff and any other destructive violent behavior you can imagine a kid of that age range doing. This was not occasional behavior, this was every day and they would take turns. I would sometimes have to stand there and hold the bedroom door shut to keep them in their room when sent there.

     

    A few years of my wife and my not giving into the behaviors, our nephew was tested for ADHD and was judged to be borderline ADHD. The main reason, I believe he did so well was because we expected him to behave no matter what and enforced that with appropriate punishment (I know I have used a very bad word here, but it works).

     

    We now have two normal kids who are excellent students. Our niece is a little shy and has trouble keeping her room neat (what 14 girl isn't and doesn't), but also has a wicked sense of humor. Our nephew was the first one from the group of Webelos to crossover to get 1st class and he recently was selected as one of two students of the year from his school.

     

    By the way how did I know what to do with them. Simple it was the way my mother dealt with her ADD child that would read a book in math class and then correct the teacher. She may have not gotten as good or results, but it taught me what worked and what did not work.

     

    My suggestion to you is to talk to the parent and tell her that her son is not welcome back to your Den meetings until the behavior stops. If the Pack committee refuses to support you, remind them that they are responsible for providing a safe environment for ALL scouts and if they refuse to do that you will resign as a den leader and move to another pack.

     

  2. The way I see it is National is not going to do anything until it becomes public knowledge (in the news) that there is a homosexual leader in this council. Then my guess is that National will apply pressure to the responsible parties starting with the lowest level (COR and CO) to enforce the National policy. Each member/unit that refuses will then have their membership/charter removed in a surgical manner (minimum effect to enforce the message).

  3. No. The requirements for Cub camping are different. The expectations are different and the required level of comfort for the parents and Cubs are different. Having the Cubs camp along side of the Boy Scouts at Camporees will push the program down to the Cubs. Also keep in mind that from what I understand, not necessarily agree with, Webelos are allowed at Camporees for the day to observe, but not participate for these very reasons.

  4. This is why I posed this question. Here in this topic we have both interpretations that I have seen and heard both here and in training. For example this is from a recent post from Bob White in the topic Patrol Leader Council Meeting, "I need to point out that the PLC is a troop activity and as such the Youth Protection policies require two adults to be present." This seems to be in contradiction with the following posted by ScoutNut in the Denner & Assistant Denner topic, "Laura - Do you have a son in your den? Technicaly, the 2 deep leadership requirement is for all trips and outings, not for den meetings. The YP requirement that would apply would be "No one-on-one contact". As long as your son was there with you there was no need to send the Denner home with his parent for 15-30 minutes." It also seems to be in conflict the section that ScoutNut posted in this topic from the G2SS, "Two-deep leadership. Two registered adult leaders or one registered leader and a parent of a participant, one of whom must be 21 years of age or older, are required on all trips and outings. The chartered organization is responsible for ensuring that sufficient leadership is provided for all activities.

    No one-on-one contact. One-on-one contact between adults and youth members is not permitted. In situations that require personal conferences, such as a Scoutmaster's conference, the meeting is to be conducted in view of other adults and youths."

     

    So what is the correct interpretations. Again I want to state that I believe that a leader and another adult minimum should be present whenever possible at Den and Troop meetings, I just do not want a leader freaking because their assistant did not show and they are stuck at a den meeting alone at the last minute. I will also state that it is quite clear you need two-deep on all trips and outings, and that is outside of this discussion.

     

  5. I have a mild confusion about the youth protection guidelines dealing with two-deep leadership. First off I will say that I recommend always a minimum of one leader and another adult be present at all meetings, which is where my confusion lies. The following are some examples of what I have confusion about and would like to know if they are against the rules.

     

    1) Den meeting with only the den leader and 3+ boys present?

    a) At a location where other den meetings are present?

    b) At a location where no other meetings are being held?

    2) Troop meeting with only the Scout Master plus 3+ boys present?

    a) PLC meeting with only the PLC and Scout Master present?

     

    The reason, I have this confusion is because I have heard that both of the above situation, or situations like them, are allowed/not allowed in different training sessions and even in different postings here on this forum.

     

  6. I thought I would bring you up to date on the situation. One of the reasons we were looking for a troop at this time was his sister had managed to get herself removed from the home by lying to social services about abuse, these charges were dismissed. The results of this was to cause a mental breakdown made worst by a lying vindictive social services case worker (this is the opinion of my friends lawyer). This social worker is trying to remove the boy from the home according to the social services lawyer to the judge based solely on her beliefs (ie no evidence), and against the recommendation of the child's court appointed lawyer. The only good thing to come of this is the child finally knows that he suffers from bi-polar and is getting treatment for it.

  7. I live in the Robert E. Lee council area and my family has been here since before the Civil War. I see this more as a problem if ignorance of history then being PC. This came to my attention recently when I started thinking about where most of the parents on my son's soccer team are from here originally. The only parents on the team whose families are from Virginia originally where my wife, me and maybe 1 other. Everyone else is form another state and was not taught Virginia history like I was. When I was growing up here you learned a lot about the original settlements, the revolutionary war, and the civil war and you learned about the people involved. Most people from outside of Virginia and other southern states learn very little if anything about these subjects from what I have seen. This is not to meant as a slight about history that is taught in other states it is just a fact, just like I can tell you very little about the history of Nevada. Each state teaches their students about their states history. And as I thought about this I realized that the South has kept a lot of the history alive and correct for along time. For example how many of you can recall the major generals in WWI and what were all the issues that war was fought about. There is an old saying that history is written by the winners and this is true. The south has been more successful then other loser in keeping their history alive. With today's mobile society, more Virginia families are moving elsewhere and more people from other states are moving here and the new blood have little or no knowledge of the Civil War except what they learn from sound bites.

  8. Here are my answers based on serving as the district Webelos leader trainer and a Pack Trainer.

     

    1. The fact that some council and district trainers by either individual choice or committee direction alter the training syllabi contents. I am curious as to what information you add or delete and why.

    When I do training I teach the syllabi contents. The only thing I add is suggestion of ideas of things to do or methods that I have tried or that others have used that worked. For example I tend to handout a copy of the letter I gave my Webelos leaders along with the schedule I used. I also try to make sure that any myths that I am aware of that come up in the class are pointed out at that time, for example what consitutes a complete uniform.

     

     

    2. The frequency or infrequency with which courses are offered and why.

    The district that I do training for offers the new leaders and leader specifics training in the spring and fall.

     

    3. How does one get to be a trainer in your District.

    You typically are asked to volunteer by the District training coordinator. In my case the Cub Master of my Pack who was the Roundtable Coordinator at the time recommended me to the Cub Trainer director, because he liked the way I ran my Webelos den.

     

    4. How are Pack and Troop Trainers (a committee position within the unit) used to enhance or deliver training in your district.

    As a Pack Trainer also I will have to say that I am still feeling this one out. I tried to make sure that the leaders are aware that I am available for any question that they might have and also am willing to arrange training time for leaders at their convenience to give them unofficial leader specific training if they can not make the district training.

     

    5. The idea of using "devil's advocate" or purposely presenting wrong information in order to spark a discussion, as an effective training tool.

    If used correctly it can get people to think about issues. The main point about using this is to be ready to state the correct information and make sure everybody realizes why what you said first was wrong.

     

     

  9. As the parent of a boy that is in both travel soccer (the upper level of soccer for his age level) and Scouts, I do not see this as a struggle between Scouts and soccer. Instead I see this a learning experience on how to balance conflicting calls on our time and prioritizing those items.

     

    For example during soccer season, I expect him to forgo camp outs and meetings if necessary because of conflicts between the two. This is not because I value soccer over Scouts, the reverse is actually true. It is because his responsibilities to the team are greater. If he lets his patrol know that he will not be there they can work around it. On the other hand it would be harder for his team to work around the fact he his not there, because he has a position of responsibility (a position that he trains for and plays) that would have to be filled by another player. Also his not being there will cause his teams number of substitutes to be less. This means longer play time for each player and less chance to rest. This could mean that they would lose the game from exhaustion.

     

    On the other hand if he decide he wanted to be PL, I would have to tell he that in order to do that he will have to drop soccer, because he would need to make a comment to be at all meetings and camp outs. Since he cannot make this commitment and stay in soccer, he would have to give up soccer.

     

    One of Scouts purpose is to teach responsibility and part of that is teaching how to juggle conflicting responsibilities and how to determine which one is more important or to say no to one when they cannot be reconciled. If we say sport or Scouts we lose a chance to teach this lesson. Instead of telling a Scout to pick sports or Scouts, talk to them about how they can work to reconcile the two. Some ideas of how this can be done is coming to the meeting after/before practice to get information or calling their patrol leader the next night to get the information handed out at the meeting. If they need a position of responsibility suggest that they work as a den chief for a den that meets when they do not have practice/games or maybe working on the news letter/web page with information provide by the troop scribe.

     

  10. I guess I was not very clear in what I said. I did not mean to say that school work (or other work outside of the den meeting) could not be used for badge work. What I was saying was that I as the leader had to sign off on the requirement, which meant that the Scout had to show me that the work was done. For example, if a Scout while at school painted and framed a piece of artwork and wanted use that for artist, he had to bring the artwork to a den meeting and show me it, before I would sign off on the requirement. This is exactly the same rule that I would use as a merit badge counselar. This was the only way that any boy whould of earned any pins (except the required ones) since I did not do all the requirements in Den meetings. The goal of Webelos is the make the transition to Boy Scouts not such of a shock and one way that is done is to make the boys start looking to someone other than the parents for information.

  11. I got in this discussion too late to add much, but to recap.

     

    In Cub Scouts the parents sign off on the requirements and the Den Leader then initials and records that the requirement is completed. In this case things done at school or elsewhere can and should be counted toward requirements.

     

    At the Webelos level this changes. Now the Den Leader or who ever the leader designates signs off on the requirements. The parents should not sign off any requirements, except maybe the ones under family member. If a Scout does something outside of a den meeting, the leader should expect proof that the requirement was completed before signing off on the requirement. This is part of the transition from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts and from what I can tell from some of the post this is what failed with new Scouts that crossed over. This is why I believe that Webelos leader training is one of the most important for a leader to take. Failure for a leader to understand, at this level, what their job is can cause the type of culture shock that causes boys to drop out after they cross over. The idea is to get the boys to the point that they are comfortable going to someone else, other than their parents, when they need help with something.

     

    In Boy Scouts a parent should never sign off on a requirement, unless it is for a merit badge that the parent is teaching to a group of Scouts.

     

  12. I would like some suggestion about where a boy should be placed. My family has a friend that has a foster child that due to his previous history has some developmental problems. He is currently 11 years old and will be turning 12 shortly. The grade he is in is technically 5th grade, but they are really doing work at a 4th or 3rd grade level. He is a quick study (going from not being able to read to reading at a 4th grade level in about 2 years). He is really interested in joining Scouts and really needs what the program can offer. My question is would it better to place him in a Webelos den or to place him in a troop? Please respond about this so I can work with the foster parent where to place the child.

  13. No the Scoutmaster can not hold back the boy. Now having said that committe and Scoutmaster can make sure the boy lives up to standard of an Eagle, and no I do not mean adding requirements, I mean do not give him any slack on the merit badges, leadership position, and project. He has plenty of time and should be able to come up with a great and grand project that he will be proud of for years to come and not one that will be gone come the next year(like cleaning up the church grounds). If the boy was motivated to work this hard for his ranks, he should have the ability to work just as hard if not harder on his Eagle. This is coming from a parent whose boy is also on the fast track to Eagle.

     

    P.S. I hope he worked hard for the Eagle and it was not his parents idea.

  14. Here is the situation. There is a person that I work with whose sons were in scouts, but both have dropped out because the promise of Scouting was not being delivered. This is happing in both the only pack and troop for a large county in our area.

     

    First the troop, from what she has told me, after the previous Scoutmaster had to leave due to health problems, the new one has turned the troop into an eagle mill. This has turned her son off of scouting along with several other boys in the same area. The troop as lost membership and also new boys are not joining, because the new leader(s) are only interested in advancement and not in allowing the boys to progress at their own pace. The other problem with this troop is that the whole troop is only focused on the big trips for the older boys and is leaving the younger boys behind.

     

    Now for the second half of this sad story, the only pack in this area has become a money machine. According to her each meeting is a now a pep rally on how to make more money for the pack (and she is not talking about just the pack meetings, but the den meetings also).

     

    Now my problem is that I am not associated with the troop, pack or district that this is happing in, but would like to know if there is someway that I can put a bug in the DE ear to look closer at these units and see if there is really a problem and if so help them get it fixed.

     

  15. My take on this is that there is two test.

     

    The first is a test given by the Aquatics Director gives to each person using the waterfront to determine their ablitity to swim. This test is given for safety reasons and should be make the Aquatics Director comfortable that the person that is using the waterfront will not panic and thus being a danger to themselves or others.

     

    The second test is the one required for rank. This is a test of basic compentence in the water and should be done based only on the requirements in the Boy Scouts handbook.

     

    What this means to me is that a boy can have passed the rank requirement, but still be classified by the Aquatics Director as a beginner or non-swimmer if they determine that it is necessary.

     

  16. Zahnada,

    I will take a stab at answering your questions. I have no standing other than as a volunteer and this is just I applying my logic and knowledge to your questions.

     

    "Does the policy apply only to adult leaders or to anyone associated with BSA? What about non-volunteer members of BSA? "

     

    First part since BSA has no control over non-members their rules can not apply to someone who is not a member. So in my opinion the rules would not apply to a parent who helps the troop/pack, but does not join. The second part is more interesting. Since from what I know you have to be a member of BSA to hold certain position as a professional in BSA the rules would apply to them, but for people who the membership rule does not apply, they would be exempt from any rules dealing with membership.

     

    "If an adult leader avows that he has been attracted to members of the same sex, but doesn't avow that he's gay, can one be used to assume the other? Is that reason enough for him to be forced to leave BSA?

    What about gay men who have never engaged in same sex, sexual activity? Do they fall under the restriction? It seems as if their life style isn't any worse than a straight person who abstains from sex."

     

    I will take these two questions together since to me the rules that would apply are similar. From what I understand the two things that BSA looks at when determining if this membership rule is to take effect are 1) To advocate that a homosexual behavior is a moral decision to youth of scouting age or 2) To engage in homosexual behavior. I would have to say, in my opinion, as long as the person in question does not do either of these then BSA would not attempt to enforce the rule.

     

    "Where do bisexuals fall into this argument? Can a happily married bisexual man who avows that he may have engaged in sexual activity with another man be removed? "

     

    Since in order to be bisexual you have to engage is homosexual behavior, which is sex with a person of the same sex. I would have to say they are in violation of the membership requirement, in my opinion.

     

    "What about the countless boys and adults out there who are questioning their sexuality? These rules seem to restrict their ability to talk with any member of scouting about the issues they personally face. I heard somewhere that 1/3 of teen suicides are because of sexual orientation confusion and guilt. It seems wrong to sweep these issues under the carpet, but the word "gay" is quickly becoming taboo in scouts. "

     

    In regard to youth, from what I understand, the position of the BSA is two-fold. First BSA is very clear that they believe abstinence is preferred for youth in all circumstances, my above opinion about not engaging in homosexual behavior would apply. The second area BSA is clear on, except for the point about abstinence, BSA wants us to stay out of sex issue and direct youth to talk to their parents, religious leaders, or other non-scout adult that they feel comfortable with about sexual issues. As for an adult, if he/she were talking to other adults, I would suggest that they keep it to their self since most people are uncomfortable with these issues and would not appreciate the discussion. If they are talking to youth they should be removed from Scouts ASAP since they are in violation. Keep in mind these are my opinions, based on my understanding of the rules and my own logic.

     

    "What if a very open and avowed gay man becomes straight? Could Dale walk up to a troop and say, "It's ok, I'm straight now. Will you let me in?" "

     

    This one is tough, but in my opinion the following issues would have to be addressed. 1) How do we know the person is telling the truth? 2) Does he/she still advocate homosexuality as a moral lifestyle? If I were asked to make such a decision the person involved would have to do a lot to convince me on both of these points.

     

    Now that I have posted my opinion on these questions, I will bow out of this discussion unless direct questions for clarification are asked of me.

  17. Kwc57

    There was a time before I was born when a leader of a nation did the following. He detained, tortured and gassed his citizens and the leaders of the world looked the other way and did not want to do anything. He violated the treaties that his country had signed and the leaders of the world looked the other way. He built and acquired weapon systems that his country was not allowed and the leaders of the world looked the other way. He invaded his neighbors and the leaders of the world looked the other way for a while, but eventually he went too far and the world responded. Unfortunately by the time the leaders realized what they had to do and did it he was stronger and had strong allies and the world suffered. The things that this leader did and what he wanted to accomplish are the same as what Saddam is trying to do and what he wants. Why should we wait until Saddam is stronger and better entrenched before we act?

     

    By the way if the leader I referenced above was Hitler. Saddam is this century's Hitler. Again shall we wait until he is so strong that the cost would be astronomical (i.e. a nuclear attack on an ally) or shall we act now when the cost is still small?

     

  18. le Voyageur,

    I had you in mind for this post since from your posts I have deduced that you have a connection to Native Americans and live in the Virginia/Maryland area, but if anybody else can provide some information I would appreciate it. My troop is having a campout in February that theme is Native Americans. We also currently have a problem with open the can and heat meals being the current standard of cooking in the patrols. So my thinking was that if I could find some web sites that had Native American recipes, especially ones with recipes from the Virginia area, the troop could incorporate a cooking contest in to the camping trip. The recipes should also be able to be made with foods that can be found in you standard grocery store.

    Thank you.

     

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