I apologize for suggesting a course of action that circumvents appropriate protocol. Obviously I'm ignorant of the Committee side of things and therefore shouldn't have put those 2 cents worth out there.
Again I'm not a lawyer, but is there implicit defamation? Say one applies to another youth organization and is asked,
1. Have you ever been rejected to serve in a volunteer organization?
2. If so why?
I imagine the honest answers, Yes and I dunno would only add another rejection.
It ramps up from the end of bear through boy scouts pretty steadily. Webelos are expected to camp as a patrol away from parents and to do so more frequently. Then scouts BSA is much more independent and camping oriented. I suspect part of the problem is finding a program that meets the needs of all the different groups across the country.
Check with the Lodge about their policy, but make sure you talk to someone who ACTUALLY knows the rules, not just a fanatic. There is a bunch of false information floating around.
Find out if the flap was only available to those who went, or to anyone as a way to promote NOAC or raise funds. If it was only for attendees then I would say no. If it was a fund raiser, or other (which you seem to indicate) then it might be ok.
If it were an "earned" flap, our lodge has had a number over the years, then I would suggest not wearing it.