Jump to content

    • Oh, the presumption that my quips are only delivered to boys ... but the let's just assume that's the case, and that what I say might lead to some Sooner enforcing his ideals of 'kept women. (Sorry, Barry, couldn't resist). The first link was a "love marriage"; therefore, tragically makes a case for my point. Unions based on emotion make great novels, but those things fade and render a person who cannot make a living in his/her own right vulnerable to abuse. Would that her husband and family could rise above this. They couldn't. The case in your second link is perhaps far more complicated. In the 18th-19th century, William Carey tried collaborated closely with Indian scholars to build a nation who voluntarily resisted the culture of Sati. The subcontinent is seeing rejection of perceived 20th century government overreach and touting of over-zealous Hindu nationalism. (Not unlike our Alt-Right who hang their hats on "old time" Christian or Pagan Aryanism, which has no documented basis in the ancient dogmas of either religions.) The motives of my in-country MENA cousins are even more complex. They believe that they must "win," and they only see themselves "winning" through heirs, a strategy that makes them wholly dependent on women. In this context, a woman's wealth or skill is immaterial. Be the marriage for love or money, a wife is liability until sons rise up to defend the household according to mantras like "Me against my brothers, my brothers against my cousins, my cousins against the world." I am finally old enough to be trusted to converse with (some) young MENA women, and it's captivating to hear them sift through a mix of ancient and post-modern ideals. It's also interesting watching the young men try to keep up. (Look up PBS's Frontline episodes of Our Man in Iran.) I have no idea where the chips will land with that lot. But, I assert that challenging young men and women in that culture to seek out the endowed and industrious for mates puts them on more solid footing. I'm not a fan of transactional  if-you-give-X-expect-to-get-Y approaches to marriage. Talking to someone about the cost of a relationship smacks of prostitution ... My working assumption is that a youth will go "all-in" for their spouse. The question then boils down to what kind of person he/she should go "all-in" for? My answer is not pat. It's provoking. I've never been inclined to put a gag on my kid's adult leaders. If they were afraid to give my youth proverbs that trouble Mrs. Q and I, they might also have been afraid to tell them something dreadfully important. As the kids grew, we could discuss who said what and why they did. The snide remark is none of the above. It is Hephnerism at its best ... fulfilling the Cosmopolitan ideal that we all are best treated as parts for temporary use and subsequent disposal. It is precisely the standard by which young men and women in the past 50 years have been brought up to evaluate one another. Some great and powerful people have learned to live by it. It echos from teen tents of both sexes late at night. It's what you get when people like me don't talk to your youth the way we do.
    • I have no problems running off a good old boy who does not respect the current families in the Troop or is an egomaniac. There is a reason why some people get nicer as they age, it's because they want to continue to be included and not sent off to the dust bin.   A troop does not need a graybeard around to be successful.  But if they happen to have a wonderful graybeard around, it's an asset.  An elder who lives the Scout Law and is welcoming and kind to families is the kind of person you want around for a long time.  All adult leaders are replaceable. Our troop is cycling through this . Older leaders whose kids have long gone are leaving.  That is OK!  That is normal.  New parents are stepping up to help run fund raisers and serve as merit badge counselors.  That is all very healthy stuff. 
    • I would have to agree with you,  you are right. Around here it is more of a Mom's club than a good old boys club, the Moms have been doing a great job of running off the good old boys. 
    • My oldest son has two brothers. They are siblings.  They are all in Scouts BSA.  Soon we may have older Scouts in troops with younger sisters in Cubs.  That's Scouts BSA.  We may have brothers in one troop and sisters in another troop.  That's Scouts BSA.  We may have Scouts with older siblings in Venturing.  That's Scouts BSA.   And here's the thing, when you have Dad as a den leader and Mom running the popcorn sale, and sister in Venturing and Brother in Scouts, then that helps make a family stronger.  And it helps make a community stronger.  
    • You know what's interesting is that we got new Scoutmasters this year (husband/wife team) and they have taken the training to heart.  They are saying things like "you (Scouts) don't work for us, we work for you".  They are moving the troop more towards Patrols than they have been in the past.   Every local flavor will be a little different, but it's not like there's no hope! 
  • Who's Online (See full list)