Little brother problem

I am the relatively new SPL in my troop and my little brother is making my job very hard. He consistently talks during the meetings and goofs off with his friends who are in the same patrol.

His behavior seems to be disintegrating my authority and position within the troop.

What do I do?

EagleSPL,

Welcome! SPL ain't easy as I see you have found out. Have you talked to him about this? Have you talked to his PL about this?

Actually, this is a common problem with siblings. I would talk to your brother & find out why he is being disruptive. I would also discuss this with his PL since he doesn't seem to have control of his Patrol (I made a rhyme!).

Good luck & keep us informed!

Ed Mori

Scoutmaster

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

I agree, his PL sure doesnt have control of his patrol. Wow, this sounnds like our meetings.

I would say to sit down with both of them separately and discuss it. Does your troop do Scoutbucks or some other type of reward? If so, you could take them away for bad behavoir. Let us know how it goes.

EagleSPL

Welcome aboard. Sorry about your problem. Little brothers can be irritating. I think it's their job. I'm sure he looks up to you and probably feels special that his brother is the SPL. He also may feel like he needs to act this way to get as much attention as you do. Remember to always keep an even temper and lead by example. Don't do anything about your brother in public, but try to talk to him in private. Your parents and your Scoutmaster should be able to help you also. Show him positive ways to get attention like showing leadership himself. There is a place for fun and cutting up, but the troop meeting is not the place. A class clown is not a leader but a hinderance to leadership. How much younger is your brother? Make sure you have a definate plan for your meetings with fun times scheduled. ie; pre-opening activities and inter-patrol activities. After sitting in class all day, scouts need activity. Use your Scout sign to quiet the room and don't show anger while waiting for the quiet. Good luck and keep us posted.

Doug

Welcome to the campfire. Ditto with ASM7. Good advice and good luck.

yis

When I first joined the troop, way back in the dark ages. My older brother, who is four years older then I,was a patrol leader.

He had his own group of friends, and really didn't want me getting in his way, or hanging around him. He was cool and little brothers are not cool.

To make matters worse, our mother, would tell him that he had to look after me. This really added to my uncoolness.

Having a big brother in the troop was to my mind, something that made me have "One up" on all the other young Scouts, so I think that I used this to my advantage, and was a real rotter.

As time passed, I needed his help in everyday scout things, such as knots, learning to cook and that sort of stuff, he loved showing off his skills, and used the time for a "Big Brother Minute"

We are the fruits of Irish parents, so there were times, when I'm sad to say I pushed my luck just a little too far, and he thumped me.

I hope you can avoid,this. Looking back I wish that he had!

Do try doing some of the Scout type things at home, and use the time for a "Big Brother Minute" of your own.

This may not work for everyone, but a 19-year-old leader in our troop has a 12 year old brother scout. The 19 year old leader tells his brother. "Remember, when I'm giving announcements or instructions, or trying to head something up, I'm not your big brother, I'm a leader, and I want you to treat me like any other leader". It seems to work, as the little brother has admiration for the older. He was just needing a little 1-on-1 with his bro. Maybe that's something you could try...?

TA

Give your brother a job with some resposibility.

Have him help the quartermaster.

Anything where he is busy and feels like he has a job and is making a contibution.

Have his whole patrol be responsible for a program such as first aid or knot tying.

That should keep them all focused.

I'm assuming you've already tried to reason with him privately about it...

If he isn't being responsive, then I'd suggest treating him just as you would any other scout. Do you have a policy that spells out expectations for scout behavior during meetings? If so, what are the consequences for disruptive behavior as spelled out in your discipline policy? I'd be consistent with any scout needing correction. It sounds as if your brother is not the only one who is pushing the limits.

Charity

I'm assuming you've already tried to reason with him privately about it...

If he isn't being responsive, then I'd suggest treating him just as you would any other scout. Do you have a policy that spells out expectations for scout behavior during meetings? If so, what are the consequences for disruptive behavior as spelled out in your discipline policy? I'd be consistent with any scout needing correction. It sounds as if your brother is not the only one who is pushing the limits.

Charity

Here's what my oldest son did in the same circumstance, although you've got to be careful, because there's a fine line:

It became very apparent to our oldest son, the SM and I that my younger son felt "overshadowed" by his older brother, the SPL, the guy closing in on Eagle, the "star" of the venture Patrol outings. We all agreed that the younger son needed to find something that he could "star" in.

Both were taking kayaking through the American Red Cross in preparation for a spring outing. My oldest son arranged to have to work the weekend of the planned outing, leaving his younger brother as the only family member there. The young guy had shown a great aptitude for kayaking, and by the end of the weekend, was considered by all who went as the "star" kayaker, even by the guys from the ARC who helped with the event. Ever since then, my younger son makes a point to seperate himself from the older: Older didn't earn shootgun MB, younger did. Older was Eagle Scout at 17, younger insists he's going to do it before he turns 16. Older only served 6 months as SPL, younger says he's going to serve for a full year, and do it better.

This competition has remained healthy, not negative, mostly because the older son treats it well. "If you think you can get to Eagle by 16, go for! It's tougher than you think!" rather than "there's no way! I'm a better Scout than you'll ever be!" But the whole thing was set up by the older son recognizing that until the younger guy got out of the older one's shadow, he was always going to try to make things harder for his older brother.

hope this helps. Good luck!

The further the age separation, the less conflict. My problem, SPL and new scout are only 19 months apart! Yikes!

Scout activities are for scouts, and scouts take an oath to be friendly , courteous, kind, and obedient (ven to his brother). I would have him treated as any other scout who was disrupting the troop meeting. I would ask the SM to have a Scoutmaster Conference with him regarding his behavior. If the scout could not determine how to behave in accordance with the oath he swore to, I (as the scoutmaster) would explain that the next time he acted in an unscout-loke manner he would be sent home so his parents could discuss appropriate actions with him. Then, if it becomes necesarry I would do just that.

(It worked with me when my older brother was my Patrol Leader)

Good Luck,

Bob White(This message has been edited by Bob White)

Bob,

Say it ain't so! You weren't perfect? Git outta here!

(Please note the tongue wedged with great pain deeply in the cheek.)

Mark