Why is Dad here?

I do believe that the best thing we can give our children are roots and wings.

I was happy when he didn't want me to tag along to Boy Scouts with him.

I wanted his Boy Scout experience to be his.

When he went to Philmont I was OK staying home walking the dogs.

When I was asked to be the SM for the 2001 Jamboree, I wanted to go.

But I didn't feel I should go and leave him at home.

For 2005 he opted to attend the Jamboree as a youth staff member away from the beady eye of his Dad the SM.

I was asked to be a leader for the last world Jamboree.

I would have loved to have gone. I had attend the World Jamboree back in 1975, so going again in a place I knew would have been nice.

I knew that if I went I really couldn't leave him at home to walk the dogs.

He really didn't care if he went or not. But if I'd gone and not taken him? Somehow that just wouldn't be right.

So in the end we both remained home and I walked the dogs.

Eamonn.

I have accompanied my son on much of his journey, but certainly not all. He joined as a Webelos. He immediately asked me to register too. I held off from September to April before I joined. It was another adult's enthusiasm that convinced me. He has never been a homesick kid or one who wouldn't participate without a parent in attendance. I went to summer camp his first year (2004) mainly because I wanted to experience it. Other than that time, I went for half a week in 2006. Beyond that, I've been content to let him fight the heat, bugs and poison ivy in my place. I'm an ASM for new scouts in our troop. He served as one of my TG's for a nine month period. Beyond that, he has been his own man as a PL, ASPL and now SPL. I was fortunate enough to be selected for adult leadership to the 2005 Jambo and experience that with him.....when he was around. I did make the trek to the other side of Jambo to try and meet Eamonn twice and missed him. I left him some patches and he was kind enough to mail me some in return. While I wanted to, I chose not to do Northern Tier, Philmont or backpacking the Pecos Wilderness with him due to my diabetes. He didn't need me there anyway. He is an OA Chapter officer and on the Chapter ceremonial team. I get to share some of that with him because he needs a ride to get there. He turns 16 a month from today and will want to drive himself. I'm content to let him. Last year he staffed summer camp and staffed NYLT and I took him back and forth. He will be doing both again this summer....but will be driving himself. We are at troop meetings together every week, but he is doing his thing as the SPL and me as a NSP ASM and we are both usually on every troop outing. There are troop meetings and outings though where we hardly talk to one another until the trip home. In some respects, we have been there side by side with many common experiences. In others respects, he has been his own man and able to spread his wings. I think it has been good for both of us. I see him as a young man who has earned a certain amount of independence. Mom on the other hand still sees him as her little boy. That will change with time. I know his involvement will lessen due to getting a job to pay for his truck. He is still doing camp and NYLT staff this year and Philmont and Jamo again in 2010. Dad will continue to help with the troop, is slated to staff WB again in 2010, Continue Campmastering and looking for his own individualt adventures inside of Scouting.

It has been interesting reading the different dynamics in families. Scouting has always been part of our lives (Grandpa - Eagle - Dad Queen Scout) but more as an extention of our love of the outdoors. As Scoutmaster and Asst. Scoutmasters, we have generally always been on trips, events etc.... So out of curiousity, I asked my two Eagles if they would have rather we not be around. I was surprised by the response. Both boys stated, that they prefered us around but if we couldn't go that was fine. Also, the main reason the enjoy us around (be still my heart) is because we don't hover, we listen to their (all scouts)ideas and leave them alone and do our own thing. They stated this is why all the scouts liked having us at events, campouts, and other scouting outings. They did say that it was really a bummer when our food looked better than theirs. Or if we go off and do something that sounded like fun. They stated that most adults treat them (all scouts) like "your a kid you don't know" My oldest stated that just because he is a teenager it doesn't mean he is stupid.

>>Also, the main reason the enjoy us around (be still my heart) is because we don't hover, we listen to their (all scouts)ideas and leave them alone and do our own thing.

Barry,

Didn't think you didn't give your boy space -- was actually wondering if we didn't give ours enough I definately get the roots and wings thing - we homeschool so it is constantly on my mind - however, neither son is hesitant to take off for anywhere on their own - it seems to depend on whether we (dad/mom) would be an asset or fun that determines our presence. I am not a power hiker - don't see the point in counting miles over scenery - last summer boys wanted to cover ground and camp so dumped at the trailhead in Colo. and picked them up a week later. I never thought a thing of it til a parent looked at me like I was evil. I guess your post helped us - check our barometer of involvement and keep a dialog open with our own. So thanks

2eagles,

I'm encouraged to hear you say that as a homeschooler. We have a good number of homeschooled boys in our troop who have scouter parents and they watch their boys and others like hawks. They have a hard time buying into boy led and usually go to summer camp every year. They are very protective. But most of that grows out of their fundamentalist religious beliiefs more than anything else. That isn't meant to be derogatory, just my personal observations as a NSP ASM who has to deal with parents of new scouts. The homeschoolers required more maintenance than the public school kids/parents.

And please folks, don't let my observation derail a great thread.

Beavah

I can believe some homeschoolers are that way - unfortunately there are good and not so good styles in homeschooling. We homeschool because the education foundation in our area is lacking. But we are not in any way hovering parents. We have more of the Western pull yourself up by your own boot straps ideals. The sad thing is the hovering parent seems to be the growing norm. They do not realize they are not helping their boy grow into a young man. These are usually the same parents who ask how we got our boys to be so self relient and self confident. Go figure.

yah 2eagles,

I'm SR540Beaver, not Beavah, eh? Ya can tell by my proper use of da English language, eh? Well, proper use of Okie English anyway. Sorry, Beavah, I couldn't resist.

A day or so back in another thread I was going on about the relationship between DE's and Volunteers, saying that the DE was at time between a rock and a hard place.

OJ, missed Tiger Cubs. (Mainly because I didn't agree with the program and I was too busy to get involved!) I was involved during his Cubscout career. Mainly as the Cubmaster.

When our female Den Leaders were uncomfortable with the Webelos program, I got involved with his Den.

I had a wonderful time!

I look back on the times we (OJ and self.) spend as some of the best times. He was a Webelos scout when we went to the Conference Center at Philmont. Again we had some very memorable times.

When the Ship first started he signed up (I needed the names on the charter to get the Ship off the ground. By this time he was very deeply involved in the OA and a lot of other things, so he really just didn't have the time.

I think he wanted to be more involved but just couldn't.

He was a little upset that he missed some of the trips we made and at times felt left out when the Quarterdeck meetings were at my home (His home!) The Troop he was in never really seemed to understand this youth led thing. So when the Sea Scouts were doing things that they wanted to do and planned to do he became a little upset with the Troop. He even said to me that this was more like the way things ought to be and like the stuff he had presented when he had staffed JLTC. He never ran for "Office" in the Ship. He did join us for a few activities.

He really liked the Regatta, mainly because the Sea Scouts were treated like young adults and not School-kids as all too often happens in Boy Scouting. (I think the dance and having girls around played a big part as well!!)

Many of the adult leaders I had when I was a Scout back in the UK were un-married men. My Scout Leader was a fellow in his mid thirties, he did marry a local Assistant (female) Cub Scouter when he was in his mid forties Fred my ASM was just a confirmed bachelor, he helped his brother raise his two kids when their mother died. At that time it didn't seem odd that anyone involved in Scouting wasn't married.

Just about all the people I know (not all) today involved in Scouting has kids. A few may have had the misfortune of no having had boys!! But for most the love of children came along before the love and passion for Scouting.

It seems to me and I could be way off the mark? That the really good guys are the ones who have stuck around long after their kids have gone.

I have often said when I'm joking that Scouting would be a lot better if we didn't have to have the youth.

I have really enjoyed a lot of Scouting activities when there hasn't been a youth member around. I can't imagine Wood Badge if we had to go out and try what we have learned on a group of Scouts.

I'm that weird person who even has fun at District and Council Board Meetings!

Eamonn.

As I mentioned in the other thread my son is a cub so I go to all the outings and meeting. I don't hover cause I have other boys and parents to attend to. He probably gets less attention because I know he can do it, so I focus on the others. Camping, well cubs camp as a family.

I have a group of guys I enjoy that I met at roundtable and we have crossed paths at day, resident and district camp. Not to mention day events. I have tried to convince my son to change packs and we have visited the other packs with out success.

I would love to form an adult patrol with these guys. Now to just get my son to cooperate.

basementdweller

somewhere in the forums is a neat commentary by wildhorse on being his son's scout leader -- I think it might give you a different perspective to think about

Thx 2eagles. That looks like the path we are heading down. He makes me proud every day.

Gosh I hope nobody took my post in the original thread the wrong way. I certainly didn't intend to suggest that parents shouldn't ever be part of the journey.

I suppose I was thinking about some specific parents I've met though, who just can't seem to let their kids flex those wings. I know one parent, all of his kids are Eagles, but they've never been to summer camp or (as far as I know) even a weekend camp out unless he was there too. I've heard from a BUNCH of parents how this or that activity is too expensive for the whole family to participate or it clashes with the adults' work schedules and plans, and yeah, that's true in some cases...so don't send the whole family to every last boy scout activity then...(but that advice often doesn't go over well, imagine that.)

lisabob

no one took your post incorrectly -- it started good dialog and thinking