(no subject)
Berk Moss (mossfam@TELEPORT.COM)
Thu, 15 Apr 1999 17:28:48 +0100
In a message dated 99-04-13 10:00:22 EDT, WAHowland@AOL.COM writes:
<< Question is, how to handle the "father's pin" thing? Hubby has been the
kid's
father in more ways than one, including the usual adolescent-dad stressor
thing, and kid wants to recognize this by giving him a dad pin. Of course,
though, there's the dad too. Hubby's main point is that he doesn't want the
dad pin if awarded side-by-side with father, as he feels it would cheapen i=
t,
and I have to agree with his feelings here.
Son doesn't want to insult dad by not giving him an actual "father's" pin,
being as he is the actual father with whom he has a decent relationship, ev=
en
though it is more like one of uncle-nephew than actual parent.
As for me, I divorced the sob because of abuse issues, which the kid is
unaware of, and I don't like being in the same room with him if I can help
it, but I am perfectly wiling to put on a pleasant face and deal with it fo=
r
an hour or two for kid's sake even if it would annoy me to be up front and
have him get a dad's pin in the same pgh I get the mom's one.
>>
Let me add my experience. I have a son and a step-son both Eagles (and 19
year old ASMs too!). We were lucky enough to have both myself and Loren's
father be ASMs in the Toop. At the Eagle Court, we had pins for everyone.
Both Joe and I are active in raising Loren (actually both boys) and both of
us deserved a pin. In Eric's case, his mother had no connection to
Scotuing, but we had a Mother's pin for her and one for my wife.
When i was first in the Troop we spent some time in committee lamenting the
cost of so many parent pins. I can't imagine asking a boy to pick which
person should get the pin. At that point, I offered to pay from my own
pocket the extra cost for any pins for any situation like this. We should
celebrate parents and step parents being active in their son's life and not
force kids to choose in some way. When the boy thinks Trustworthy, Loyal=8A
he needs to be able to be loyal to all parts of his family. And, we need to
be Loyal to him and Friendly, Courteous, Kind, and help him be Brave in
these difficult situations.
YiS
| Berk Moss
||||/ \ Unit Commissioner Troop 229 & Pack 217
oooo\_/ Multnomah Village, Portland Oregon
-----
/ \
/ \ Pioneer District Advancement Committee
\ | Cascade-Pacific Council
\ / O/A Brotherhood
\ / Bear Patrol Woodbadge WEM 492-1-94
\ /
--- e mail: mossfam@teleport.com
