Re: A permanent decision
Jim Peterson (jpeterson@TZNET.COM)
Thu, 6 Nov 1997 09:51:50 -0600
At first I tried to ignore this thread, hoping it would go away. Then I read
Mike Bowman's post asking others to share their experiences with Scouts
committing suicide. Mine came many years ago, when I was a sophomore in High
School. One of the Scouts in our Troop, a Star or Life Scout, Patrol Leader,
very well-liked by all the Scouts and Leaders, popular in School, a good
student and a member of the Cross-Country and Track teams, suddenly took his
own life. I, like all of my friends who knew Dave, was shocked. None of us
had seen this coming. Dave had shared with a few of us that he and his
step-mother did not get along well, but none of us imagined that it had come
to this, until it was too late.
The episode was especially hard on me, since less than a year earlier, I
had stood with the barrel of a loaded shotgun in my mouth, my thumb on the
trigger, but something prevented me from pulling the trigger. It may have
been fear, it may have been God, but something kept me from blowing my
brains out that day. What made the difference between me and Dave? I don't
know. No one knows what went on in Dave's mind that day, because he never
reached out and shared his inner turmoil with any of us.
Now, how can all of this help all of us to prevent future Scout suicides?
I'm not a psychologist, just a guy with an opinion. As Scouters, we need to
make the Scouts we serve understand that we are there for them. That if they
have problems, they can come and talk to us. That they can trust us to
protect their secrets and to protect them as best we can. When you have that
kind of relationship and a Scout comes to you, you need to do whatever you
can to help him. Sometimes that is just listening to him talk. Sometimes
that is putting him in your car and driving him to his clergyman's house or
church, so he can talk with someone who can give him more help. Sometimes it
is guiding him to make his own, non-destructive decisions. Just remember, a
suicidal kid is probably not going to come right out and say "I think I'm
going to kill myself." Those words are usually read between the lines. And
sometimes those words are never apparent, even to the person's best friends
... and that can cause the most hurt, knowing that you shared a tent with
the young man in that coffin, just a few weeks ago, that you sat with him at
lunch last week and that he never gave you the chance to help him.
I don't know if this helped any of you, but it helped me to drag up those
feelings that have been buried so deeply for so long. I hope the tears won't
short-circuit my keyboard.
YiS,
_____________________________________________________________________
Jim Peterson
Advancement Chair, Boy Scout Troop 379, Blenker, Wisconsin
Cubmaster, Pack 379, Auburndale, Wisconsin
jpeterson@tznet.com http://www.tznet.com/jpeterson
I used to be a "Singing" Eagle ... working my ticket C-8L-97
********Citizenship************Fitness************Character**********
"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable
reason why so few engage in it." - Henry Ford
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