FW: Darwin
Allen Maddox (atmaddox@JUNO.COM)
Thu, 25 Sep 1997 13:06:14 -0700
--------- Begin forwarded message ----------
-----Original Message-----
From: James McAdams [SMTP:mcadams]
Sent: Thursday, September 25, 1997 8:54 AM
To: maddox
Subject: Darwin
--------------------------------------------------------
>In a message dated 9/15/97 9:27:27 PM, 103100.3273@compuserve.com
>(Bobby Buckley) Wrote:
><<
>Please remember that the Darwin awards are given for the dumbest
incidents
>that a person has participated in. Often the recipients are dead. I
thought
>these were funny, ENJOY.
>
>THE DARWIN AWARDS are given every year to bestow upon (the remains of)
that
>individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most
to
>remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. Here are some
current
>candidates:
>[AP, Mammoth Lakes, CA] A San Anselmo man died yesterday when he hit a
>lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope
>on a foam pad, authorities said. Matthew David Hubal, 22, was pronounced
>dead at Centinela Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m.,
>the Mono County Sheriff's Department said. Hubal and his friends
>apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some
>yellow foam protectors from the lift towers, said Lieutenant Mike
>Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to
>protect skiers who might hit the towers. The group apparently used the
>pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has
>since been investigated that the tower he hit was the one with its pad
>removed.
>
>[AP, St. Louis, MO] Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in
>a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call police, Puelo
>grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying
>for it. Police found him unconscious in front of the store: paramedics
>removed the six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had choked him to
>death.
>
>[UPI, Spain] To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above
him on
>an overhanging rock-and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
>==== Non-Fatal Darwin Nominees ====
>Man's Looses Face at Party [Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA] A man at a
>party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an
>explosion that blew off his lips, teeth and tongue, state police said
>party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an
>explosion that blew off his lips, teeth and tongue, state police said
>Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a
>prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another
>man had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and was trying to
explode
>
>it," Payne said. "It wouldn't go off and this guy said, "I'll show you
>how to set it off." "He put it in his mouth and bit down. It blew all
his
>teeth off, his tongue and his lips," Payne said. Stromyer was listed in
>guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to
>a spokesman at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine
>anyone doing something like that," Payne said.
>
>[UPI, Portland, OR] Doctors at Portland's University Hospital said
>Wednesday an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is
>lucky to be alive, and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony
>Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation into a
>men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants Pass, Ore. A
friend
>tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Roberts'
>right eye. Doctors said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a
>major blood vessel would have cut and Roberts would have died instantly.
>Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland
>said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain, with the tip
>protruding at the rear of his skill, yet somehow managed to miss all
>major blood vessels. Delashaw also said had Robert tried to pull the
>arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts
>admitted afterwards he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon.
>Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No charges have been filed
but
>
>the Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation
stunt
>is under investigation.
>Pillsbury Dough Boy Wanted for Attempted Murder. [AP, Arkansas] A woman
>named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while
>there, went to a store. She parked next to a car with a woman sitting in
>it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When
>Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still
>behind her head but with her eyes open. The woman looked very strange,
so
>
>Linda tapped on the window and said "Are you okay?" The woman answered
>"I've been shot in the head, and I am holding my brains in." Linda
didn't
>know what to do; so she ran into the store where store officials called
>the paramedics. They had to break into the car because the door was
>locked. When they got in, they found that the woman had bread dough on
>the back of her head and in her hands. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had
>exploded, apparently from the heat in the car, making a loud explosion
>like that of a gunshot, and hit her in the head. When she reached back
to
>find what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She
>passed out from fright at first, then attempted to hold her brains in!
--------- End forwarded message ----------
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City |
