Re: The Assistant Scoutmaster's son

I am replying to the list on this, rather than to Linda privately,
because I what I have to say on this might be useful to others in
this situation. You see, that could almost be me and my son, 5
years ago.

Dan had always been a bit iffy about Scouts. When he was having
fun, it was "OK". If he wasn't having fun, everybody knew it. No
one else did, either. It was _me_ that wanted him to be a Boy
Scout. I felt, and still do, that the lessons that are learned in
Scouting, while they can be learned in other places, are much more
effectively learned here. It was my wife who promised him that when
he made First Class, he could quit. His staying in Scouting became
a political battle in the family, between the three of us.

I felt that if I allowed him to quit, there would be no legitimate
reason for me to stay involved, and I enjoy being an ASM. To a
point, that has been proven correct, as Dan dropped 4-5 years ago,
and I have constantly been hit with "Why do you still play Boy Scout?
You don't have a kid in it - let those with the kids do it!" But if
we all left when our kids did, there would be few left to teach the
new leaders when they come up with their brand new, enthusiastic (for
the most part), just crossed over Boy Scouts.

One of the differences between my son and this boy, is that mine was
not the troublemaker. He didn't need to be - he left that for the
SM's boy (who, BTW, received his eagle last year. And the car he was
promised if he stayed in Boy Scouts and made Eagle). Another is that
my son's dislike of camping, and Boy Scout camping in particular, went
back to my becoming sick at Scoutcamp, leaving quickly, and later on
him hearing rumors that one of our ASMs had had a heart attack. The
SM finally went to HQ on WED, and told them if they didn't let Dan
call home, _he_ would leave camp and drive Dan into town so that he
could call. And that it wasn't just a simple case of homesickness.

I have been an ASM with the Troop now for just over 6 years. I have
been to SMF and YPP. I have been to Wood Badge, and will finish my
ticket and get my beads in the next 2 months. But I must watch very
carefully how much time I spend doing "Boy Scout crap", as opposed to
what I spend with the family. It has been a constant battle over my
involvement with the Boy Scouts. A year or so ago, I took a course
at the local community college on another programming language. I was
in the computer lab for an average of 20-25 hours a week, not including
class time. During that semester, I had 2 weeks that had 3 Scouting
related meetings (Troop Committee, District RT, and Troop). What did
I hear? "You're always away doing scout s**t!"

My collection of memorabilia (my own old uniforms and badges, along
with old program guides, Boy's Life mags, etc,) is trash or junk.
Most of it is still at my Parent's home, because most of it is not
allowed in my house.

So, having said all that, what is my advice? At this point, keeping
the boy in the program is no longer serving a purpose. If he is not
paying attention - if he isn't participating, he isn't learning any-
thing. If he's talking and disrupting, the others aren't learning as
much. Let him go. But if Dad stays on as an ASM, give him all the
support, encouragement, and understanding that you can, because he
will need it!

YiS,

Chuck Bramlet, ASM Troop 323
Thunderbird District, Grand Canyon Council, Phoenix, Az.

I "used to be" an Antelope! (and a good ol' Antelope, too...) WEM-10-95
Please E-mail any replies to: >> chuckb@aztec.asu.edu <<
Member DNRC or: >> cbramlet@juno.com <<
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"The main thing is to keep the main thing the Main Thing." --
Covey Leadership Center
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