Re: Scouts and Scouters Genders
Tim Goncharoff (tgonchar@CATS.UCSC.EDU)
Mon, 13 Jan 1997 13:53:59 -0800
I've been following this thread and mulling over my own feelings for a
while now. My son is a boy scout, and like many leaders, one of my
primary joys as a scout leader is the special times we have together. We
have great times, and I dearly love every boy in our troop.
My daughter is a girl scout, and complains that I always do special
things with her brother, but not with her. Since she was a brownie, I
have frequently offered to help out, with skill instruction, outings,
campouts, whatever. I'm not out for any personal glory, I just want to
spend some time with my daughter and her friends, and get that special
feeling you all know so well that comes from helping out a young person.
The response has been consistently negative. I'm not wanted, not
welcome, go away you slimy pervert. Well, it hurts a little, but I'm
pretty thick-skinned, so I don't worry much about that. What troubles me
more is this seemingly common attitude that the only reason a man would
want to work with children is to take advantage of them. It's not fair
to the dads, to the organization that's deprived of their experience, and
certainly not to the kids that are missing out on a special time together.
I know that as my kids get older, they'll start to pull away from their
parents. I'll hate it, but I also know that it's a necessary part of
growing up. My hope is that scouting will give us a way to continue to
spend time together and relate to each other. I see it working with my
son already. It saddens me that I won't have the same opportunity with
my daughter.
To all you mother bears out there: I applaud you for protecting your
daughters so fiercely. Think about letting a few papa bears into your
circle. It will make it even stronger.
Tim Goncharoff
Troop 674
Santa Cruz, CA
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City |