Computer Humor
Jess Olonoff (jolonoff@GATE.NET)
Wed, 26 Jun 1996 16:53:13 -0400
To all,
My brother passed these stories on to me from a co-worker of his who has
been involved in computer customer support for a number of years. The
co-worker I assume is now resting happily in a "home" somewhere.
While not directly related to Scouting these stories impart what can
happen and what does happen when people do not listen, are untrained
and/or do not bother to read the fine manuals that come with their
equipment. I believe we could all learn something from these stories.
Luckily these mistakes are usually only embarrassing. As we all know a
mistake in Scouting can cost dearly.
An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new
Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed he power button. Her
response, -I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens.-
The -foot pedal- turned out to be the computer's mouse.
Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer
wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat
there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what
happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked -What power switch?-
Compaq is considering changing the command -Press Any Key- to -Press
Return Key- because of the flood of calls asking where the -Any-key is.
AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to
control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the
system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After
trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it
was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the
typewriter to type the labels.
Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes.
A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed
copies of the floppies.
A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in
the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and
was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to
close the door to his room.
Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax
anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered
the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the
monitor screen and hitting the -send- key.
Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech
referred him to the local Egghead. -Yeah, I got me a couple of friends,-
the customer replied. When told Egghead was a software store, the man
said, -Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks.-
Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer
worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and
soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing
them individually.
A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because
his computer had told him he was -bad and an invalid-. The tech explained
that the computer's -bad command- and -invalid- responses shouldn't be
taken personally.
Yours in Scouting, Jess
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City | 
