Additional Tom Lehrer
Jim Deroba (Deroba@AOL.COM)
Wed, 28 Feb 1996 16:13:32 -0500
To those of you who requested lyrics
Vatican Rag--- composed during Vatican II. The idea is that if the church
really wanted to sell the product they would rewrite some hyms in popular
song form. A modest example would be......
First you get down on your knees
Fiddle with your roseries
Bow your heads with great respect and
Genuflect, genuflect, genuflect.
Make a cross on your abdomen
When in Rome be like a Roman
Ave Maria, gee it's good to see ya
Doin the Vatican Raaag
Get in line in that Processional
Get into that small Confessional
There the guy whose got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's originial
If it is try playin if safer
Drink the wine and chew the wafer
Two, four, six eight
Time to Transubstantiate
That's all I remember off hand. I have the actual piece somewhere. For
those of you who are now offended Tom Lehrer and I are both Roman Catholic so
if we are amused and you aren't I apologize. Personally, I don't see
anything truly blasphemous about it and check out the music to the new Glory
and Praise pieces that are everywhere. The church kind of took his advice.
By the way the piano part is a killer.
Poisoning Pigeons in the Park
Spring is here
Spring is here
Life is skittles and life is beer (dear?)
I think the loveliest time of the year is the Spring
I do, don't you?, course you do.
But there is one thing that makes Spring complete for me
And makes every Sunday a treat for me.....
All the world seem in tune on a Spring afternoon
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
Every Sunday you'll see my sweet heart and me
As we poison the pigeons in the park.
When they see us coming the birdies all try and hide
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide
The suns shining bright everything seems alright
As we poison the pigeons in the park la da la da dee.
We've caused much anxiety and gained noteriety with the Audobon Society with
our games.
They call it impiety, and lack propriety and quite a variety of unpleasant
names.
But it's not against anyone's religeon
To want to dispose of a pigeons
So if some day you're free why don't you come with me
As we poison a pigeon in the park.
And maybe we'll do in a squirrel or two
As we poison a pigeon in the park
An Irish Ballad
About a maid I'll sing a song
Sing rickety tickety tin
About a maid I'll sing a song
Who didn't have her family long
Not only did she do them wrong
She did every one of them in
Them in
She did every one of them in
Her father she could never stand
Sing rickety tickety tin
Her father she could never stand
And so a cyanide soup she planned
Her father died with a spoon in his hand
And his face in a hideous grin
A grin
His face in a hideous grin
One morning in a fit of peak
Sing rickety tickety tin
One morning in a fit of peak she drowned her brother in the creek
The water tasted bad for a week
And they had to make do with gin
With gin
They had to make do with gin
She set her mother's hair on fire
Sing rickety tickety tin
She set her mother's hair on fire and as the smoke and flames rose higher
Danced around her funeral pyre.
Playin a violin
Olin
Playin a violin
One morning when she had nothing to do
Sing rickety tickety tin
One morning when she had nothing to do she cut her baby brother in two
And served him up as an Irish stew
And invited the neihbors in
Bors in
And invited the neihbors in
Her brother wouldn't get of the phone
Sing rickety tickety tin
Her brother wouldn't get of the phone and so she sent him off to Davey Jones
All they every found were some bones
And occasional pieces of skin
Of skin
And occasional pieces of skin
And when at last the police came by
Sing rickety tickety tin
And when at last the police came by her tragic tale she did not deny
To do so she would have had to lie
And lying she knew was a sin
A sin
And lying she knew was a sin
My tragic tale I won't prolong
Sing rickety tickety tin
My tragic tale I won't prolong and if you do not enjoy my song
You've yourself to blame if it's too long
You should never have left me begin
Begin
You should never have left me begin
The line about the phone may be incorrect
Other tunes are National Brotherhood week, But First Send the Marines, It
make a fellow proud to be a soldier, Pollution, Bright College Days and many
many others.
I apologize in advance for any offence. Any interest in other lyrics? If
you like Monty Python check out the new CD Monty Python Sings. Also not very
PC. Any PDQ Bach fan's out there?
I do not recomment the use of the Vatican Rag and or Poisoning Pigeons in
the Park at Scout functions. I am looking for a copy of the lyrics to Steve
Martin's Grandmother Song (starts out Be courteous kind and forgiving).
Yours in Scouting
Jim Deroba
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City | 
