Sunday School Song and question
Gary Laurence Barton (gbarton@MSAI.MEA.COM)
Fri, 31 May 1996 11:22:11 -0400
I compiled these verses from many sources and many years of scouting. Since
this is my first posting and since I am new at EMAIL, I hope this EMAIL goes
through OK.
I do have one question. The Gilwell Song I learned at Wood Badge quite a
few years ago says "I used to be a Beaver....but now I've finished Beavering and
don't know what to do. I'm growing old and feeble and I can Beaver no more so
I'm going to work my ticket if I can. Until I subscribed to this list and
noticed many people saying "I used to be a 'Patrol name'", I always thought I
would always be (in my case) a Beaver. Why did we "used to be something" rather
than still am somthing?
Regards Gary Barton (Eagle, Beaver, and been in Scouting since 1965).
THE SUNDAY SCHOOL SONG
CHORUS:
Young folks, old folks, everybody come,
Come join the Sunday School and have a lot of fun.
Please check your chewing gum and flippers at the door, (razors, raisins,
rifles)
And we'll tell you Bible stories that you've never heard before.
VERSES:
The world was made in six days and finished on the seventh;
According to the contract, it should have been the 'leventh.
But the painters wouldn't paint and the workers wouldn't work,
(But the carpenters got lazy and the masons wouldn't work)
So the cheapest way to finish it was fill it in with dirt.
The Lord made the ocean and then He made the sky;
Then He made the moon and hung it out to dry,
Then He made the stars out of whites of people's eyes;
And when He had 'em finished He just tacked 'em in the skies.
The Lord made Satan and Satan made sin;
The Lord made a cubby-hole to put Satan in.
Satan got huffy and he said he wouldn't stay;
So he's been a little Devil ever since that day.
Adam was the first man that ever was invented;
He lived all alone and never was contented.
(He lived all his life and never was contented)
Made out of mud in days gone by,
And hung out on a picket fence in the sun to dry.
Adam was a gardener, and Eve she was his spouse.
They got the sack for stealing fruit and went to keeping house.
They lived a very quiet life, and peaceful in the main,
Until they had a baby and started raising Cain.
Adam was a gardener and Eve was his spouse.
Caught at stealing apples, they started keeping house.
Their married life was happy and pleasant in the main,
Until they had a little son, and started raising Cain.
Adam was a prophet, first one that we know;
In a place called Eden, he helped things to grow.
Adam served the Lord by following His ways;
We are his descendants in the latter days.
Cain raised potatoes and he peddled them in town;
Abel called him "Hayseed" every time he came around.
Cain laid a stick of wood on brother Abel's head,
And when he took the stick away he found poor Abel dead.
Enoch was a prophet, he taught what was good.
People in his city did just what they should.
When they were so righteous that there was no sin.
Heavenly Father took them up to live with him.
Noah was a prophet called to preach the word,
Tried to cry repentance, but nobody heard.
They were busy sinning - Noah preached in vain.
They wished they had listened when they saw the rain.
Noah was a carpenter who stumbled in the dark.
He picked up a hammer and built himself an ark.
In came the animals, two by two.
All except for the worms, and they came in the apples.
Noah was the keeper of the Asiatic Zoo;
He built an ocean liner when he hadn't much to do.
One day he got excited when the sky was getting dark,
So he gathered all the animals and put them in the ark.
For forty days and forty nights it rained and blew;
The water covered up the land and all the mountains too.
When Noah got to wondering just where he was at,
The old ark ran aground on top of Ararat.
Abraham the prophet prayed to have a son,
So the Lord sent Isaac as the chosen one.
Isaac begat Jacob, known as Israel;
Jacob's sons were twelve tribes, so the Bible tells.
Moses was a prophet sent to Israel.
He would lead them to the promised land to dwell.
They were slow to follow, or so it appears.
They were in the wilderness for forty years.
Samuel was a prophet chosen as a boy.
Hannah promised God her son would serve with joy.
In the tabernacle, Samuel heard his name;
He was called by God and answered "Here I am!"
Lot's wife was a woman who was mighty curious;
If she wasn't in the know, she'd always raise a fuss.
One day while leaving town, her curiosity made her halt;
When she turned to look she turned into a block of salt.
Esau was a cowboy of a wild and woolly make.
His father left him half the farm, and half to brother Jake.
Esau was no farmer, and he thought he'd fly the coop,
So he traded it for pottage; that's a fancy name for soup.
Joseph was a shepherd lad, so Bible stories tell us.
His father gave him such a coat, it made his brothers jealous.
They sold him into Egypt for a small consideration,
Where he made a major fortune on a grain speculation.
Joseph was a shepherd boy, he kept his father's goats.
His father used to dress him in the very loudest coats.
His brothers, they got jealous and threw him in a well.
Joseph went to Heaven, and his brothers went to ....
Moses was a Yiddish lad, went sailing in a skiff.
Along came Pharaoh's daughter, and she gave the lad a lift.
She took him to the palace and she fed him something grand,
So he led the whole caboodle out into the promised land.
Pharaoh was a mighty king, the Kaiser of his day;
He nagged the sons of Israel until they ran away.
When he tried to follow them across the bounding main,
His entire army died, with water on the brain.
Balaam was a prophet who went out to curse the band
Of Israelitish children who had come to claim the land.
But on his way to do this deed, his little donkey balked,
And when he kicked her in the slats, she looked at him and talked.
Samson was a strong man of the good old-fashioned school;
He slew a host of Philistines with the jawbone of a mule.
Then Delilah came along and filled him up with gin,
And when she'd cut off all his hair, the coppers run him in.
Ruth was a gleaner and Naomi was her ma;
They went into the fields to gather in the straw.
Boaz came along and asked Ruth if she'd be his wife;
She married him for his money and they lived a happy life.
David was a shepherd lad, a fearless little chap;
Along came Goliath, just a looking for a scrap.
David hadn't any sword, he used a sling instead;
He slung rocks at Goliath and the giant fell down dead.
David played the lyre and he played it rather sweet;
He used to play before King Saul, the while the king would eat.
But the king was fond of ragtime, which David couldn't play,
So the king bought a phonograph, and sent poor Dave away.
King David and King Solomon lived very merry lives,
With many, many lady friends and many, many wives.
When old age came upon them with all its many qualms,
King Solomon wrote the Proverbs and King David wrote the Psalms.
Solomon was a wise man, he had a lot of cash.
Queen of Sheba came along and Solly made a mash.
I guess he thought that royalty was rather underpaid,
For he took to writing proverbs though he was a king by trade.
Elijah was a prophet who attended county fairs;
He advertised his business with a troop of dancing bears.
He sold assorted prophecies, and every afternoon,
He ascended up to Heaven in a patent fire balloon.
Jonah was an emigrant, so goes this Bible tale;
He booked a steerage passage on a transatlantic whale.
Jonah in the belly of the whale felt quite compressed,
So he pushed a little button and the whale did the rest.
Jonah was a prophet, tried to run away,
But he later learned to listen and obey.
When we really try, the Lord won't let us fail;
That's what Jonah learned deep down inside the whale.
Daniel was a courtier who wouldn't mind the king;
The king said he couldn't stand for any such a thing.
He chucked him in a manhole with lions down beneath,
But Daniel was a dentist and he pulled the lions' teeth.
Daniel was a prophet. He refused to sin;
So the king threw Daniel in the lion's den.
Angels calmed the lions, and the king soon saw
Daniel's pow'r was great, for he obeyed God's law.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego,
Disobeyed the king, and so they had to go. (and told him where to go)
He threw them in a furnace, to burn 'em up like chaff,
But they wore asbestos BVD's and gave the king a laugh.
Salome was a dancer, she danced before the king,
And when she did that darn dance, she didn't wear a thing.
The king said, "Salome, we'll have no scandal here."
Salome said, "The heck we won't!" and kicked the chandelier.
Salome was a chorus girl who danced the hoochie kootch.
She caused quite a scandal 'cause she didn't wear too "mooch."
The king said "Salome, we will have no scandal here."
Salome said, "The devil!" and she kicked the chandelier.
Ahab had a lovely wife, whose name was Jezebel,
While looking out the window, to the dogs below she fell.
"She's gone to the dogs", the people told the king,
Ahab said he never heard of such a dog-gone thing.
Samson was a strong man of Jeffrey Johnson's School,
Had the strength of a thousand Philistines (men) and the jawbone of a mule.
Along came Delilah, cut off his curly locks,
So the only strength that Samson had was in his dirty socks.
(This next verse is geared towards members of The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints or Mormons)
Gadianton was the leader of a famous robber band,
Who terrorized inhabitants throughout the promised land.
He robbed every bank in the whole Nephite nation;
He did it with his little ol' secret combination.
Now we have a world where people are confused.
If you don't believe it, go and watch the news.
We can get direction all along our way,
If we heed the prophets and follow what they say.
--
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(@^@)
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/\ Some folks who say they aim to /\
_\/_ please need some target practice. _\/_
/_/\_\ /_/\_\
A friend is a person with a sneaky
knack of saying good things about you]
behind your back.
EMAIL: GBarton@MSAI.MEA.COM
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