Re: The REAL problems aboard ship
Steve Meleleu (S.Meleleu.Agency@airmail.net)
Mon Jun 15 18:09:57 1998
Kevin Buffington wrote:
>
> Normally, I'm not one to air the dirty linen but I guess I have to,
> since basically I'm asking for ideas relating to my feeling as to a lack
> of personal success with my ship and how to make it better.
>
> Background - FORGET IT! I just wrote three paragraphs and it started
> sounding like I was looking for a pat on the back for the tons of
> thankless hours I've put in.
>
> Current - I have been a Mate for two years and Skipper of this ship for
> three. I am a seven day a week Skipper. Membership is adults 4 youth 8(6
> male,2female). I have one Mate(great guy). We have trained the youth
> officers in leadership and planning skills and we function as advisors
> not dictators. We try to ask them questions to consider when they are
> working an issue and occasionally have to remind them of the rules
> relating to various things and put our foot down. We have a ship
> membership meeting twice a month and a Quarterdeck meeting once a month.
> We(one youth and one adult per boat)race a couple Cal 20 sail boats each
> week(other youth waiting till schools out). We just had a Memorial Day
> weekend cruise at Catalina Island and are planning to go back next
> weekend. We have a once a month vessel maintenance day and a half day
> harbor trash cleanup day. We have a 32' Grand Banks Trawler, six cal 20
> sailboats, a whaler tender, small sailing dingies, and just purchased 5
> double kayaks.
>
> Problems -
>
> 1. Oldest youth age 19 was only youth under old skipper and opposes
> authority, advancement,and is really only around because he's dating one
> of the girls. We have unsuccessfully tried to give him leadership
> opportunities.He sets a bad example and have discussed this with him.
> Other youth follow his lead. The Charter Rep. wants to kick him out. Now
> I've got another boy(Mate's son) dating the other girl. They really
> resist supervision but I have Capt. Blhye about two deep, adult female
> attendance and especially not dissapearing, which hasn't gotten me the
> good guy award.
>
> 2. Membership recruitment - We have posted flyers all over the city and
> at the local schools. I think it's all about really getting the message
> out but flyers aren't it.
> We attended the area Boy Scout roundtable(Scoutmasters meeting)they
> suggested we put on a boating day so at the local yacht club, we put all
> kinds of boats in the water to take scouts out in the harbor, bought
> food for a barbeque and NOT ONE Scoutmaster or youth atteded. I haven't
> spoken to them since.
>
> 3. Rank advancement - Two of eight still havn't passed apprentice after
> a year (one is my Mates son). The rest are Apprentice. I thought about
> incorporating Ordinary Rank training into our 7 day summer cruise
> balanced with the fun stuff but there is only a limited time. We have
> scheduled classes on these subjects but nobody is interested. Some one
> on one has worked but too time consuming. How can I make this training
> fun, time effective, and entice them to attend. Food won't do it!
>
> 4. Training - I asked the youth if they wanted to go to Rendezvous this
> year and told them that I felt every one of them could go and getting a
> passing score on whatever the planned to compete in. They initially felt
> it should be a fun outing. I did not want to take them if they don't
> practice because I'm not going to take them anywhere to fail or waste
> alot of ship funds. After a discussion they decided that they did want
> to go and needed to schedule regular practice to be able to do well. No
> practice days have been set. I will keep reminding them about time
> slipping away.How do these other units get so well trained?
>
> It seems the only thing they are really interested in is getting away
> from adults (including us)and having fun.
>
> I would be the immediate hero if i were to announce NO training, no work
> details, no vessel maintenance, and no environmental harbor cleanup.
> This to some degree is the mantra of the 19 yearold and his mother who
> always reminds us that this is NOT the Navy or Coast Guard.
>
> I have discussed the breakup of Exploring with the whole ship and
> informed them that our Chartering Organization and myself have no
> intention of breaking away from the 26 year charter as a traditional Sea
> Scouting Unit and degrade itself to a sailing social club. This may be
> the opportunity for the youth and parents that would like to be "just
> social" to do so if they can find a sponsor.
>
> When I get tough on them and start forcing them to do their stuff they
> rebel, when I advise them and give them their lead, it is painfully slow
> or never gets done. This balancing act is my eternal dilemma.
>
> I guess I would be referred to as pretty tough if you asked the majority
> of youth and some parents and not tough enough if you asked other
> adults.
>
> Any ideas on these subjects?
>
> PS please excuse the typing, I just had eye surgery and can't see too
> well yet.
>
> Kevin Buffington
> Skipper
> SES 618
> Redondo Beach. Ca
> Ship Home Page http://home.earthlink.net/~bk618/
Kevin,
I understand your plight. As a Boy Scout leader we had the same probelm
when we tried to rebuild a Troop. It came down to explaining the new
program to the ones that refused to conform, and then telling them them
that if it didn't fit their needs we understood and the best of luck to
them where ever they go.
The 19 year old is the root of the problem, when he decides not to
follow or work within your program then he is setting you up to look bad
and undermining all your work. Addition by subtraction!!
Steve Meleleu, Ship 77 Dallas.
|
