From: WAHowland@AOL.COM
Date: Wed Jun 28 2000 - 09:32:46 CDT
>>begin quote
4 Scouts were eligable, 3 were elected. Our council does
Tapout at Summer Camp and
all 4 will be there. As the SM, I had to sign the election results but
I have not told anyone
else yet including the father of the scout not elected, and he is one of
our ASM. My question
is when is the best time to tell this scout that he was not elected, or
should I not do that
until after tapout? We have never faced this as usually if eligable the
scouts were elected.
Normally we tell the parents shortly before camp so they cam come to the
Tapout ceremony.
<<end quote
The problem here is the parental notification thing--- it serves as a tip-off
before the tap-out, if I can be alliterative <G>.
The tap-out IS the notification to the Scouts. The Scout who wasn't chosen
finds out AT tap-out. *You* don't tell anyone.
If the Scout who wasn't chosen by his peers comes to you to vent, let him.
Then ask him if he understands how the election works. Have him speak the
words will help him learn to internalise them. You'll hear all of it-- "It's
not FAIR! it's a popularity contest! I'm older, so I should... So-and-so
doesn't LIKE me so he told them to..." But keep on letting him know that the
election is what the election is. Ask him what he thinks he should do to be
more electable next year. Offer to help him over the coming year with his
plan (which may take him a few weeks to think up).
If the father has concerns, you can tell him the same thing, but I'll bet he
knows in his heart why the boys didn't choose his boy THIS YEAR.
Been there, done that... for three years, when my boy was first eligible. He
was a bit of a pain his first year, so did not get in. OK, so "Better luck
next year." Next year: he was away on a trip with his (divorced) dad, and did
not get elected again. Third year... troop in trouble, multiple factors, the
class clowns were the only ones elected. Privately all adults go to boy and
tell him he's a great kid and don't take it personally; they also express
their chagrin to me in private. Boy and mom transfer to better troop. Boy is
elected from new troop 4 weeks after transfer (was well-known to most of the
new troop thru council, Jambo, & camp activities & was serving as first Troop
Guide), becomes Lodge secretary.
The point is that if the boy wasn't elected this year, he can take it as a
wake-up call to be a person who WILL be elected next year. Wise adult
leaders-- and dads -- will use this as a teachable moment and focus on the
kid's behavior, not the election.
YiS
Auntie Beans
SA T47 Sandwich MA
Cape Cod & Islands Council
Abake MiSaNaKi Lodge #393
NSJ 1997 Nat'l Health & Safety and going in 01!
I useta be an Eagle...
<wahowland@iname.com>
