Re: Eagle Court Parent Dilemma

<< Question is, how to handle the "father's pin" thing? Hubby has
been the kid's
> father in more ways than one, including the usual adolescent-dad stressor
> thing, and kid wants to recognize this by giving him a dad pin. Of course,
> though, there's the dad too. Hubby's main point is that he doesn't want
> the
> dad pin if awarded side-by-side with father, as he feels it would cheapen
> it,
> and I have to agree with his feelings here.
> Son doesn't want to insult dad by not giving him an actual "father's" pin,
> being as he is the actual father with whom he has a decent relationship,
> even
> though it is more like one of uncle-nephew than actual parent.
> Any experience with dealing with the two-men issues in CoH? Any creative
> ideas? >>
>
Auntie Beans;
Tough question, and the simple answer is that your son (it is his
CoH), hopefully with the advice of his family and SM, decides how he wants
to handle the Dad Pin(s) ... and the adults live with/and respect his
decision. I know it is not that simple. We had a similar situation in our
family (similar, but each of these situations are unique):
I divorced about 9 years ago, and have since remarried. I have been
the one "pushing" scouts and it is I and my wife who are active in the
Troop. There is little doubt that had it not been for our involvement,
commitment and support for the Scouting program, my son would not have made
Eagle last year. My son wanted to give a mom pin to "both of his mom's". I
didn't have any major heartburn with this (I tried to keep my personal
feelings about my ex out of the equation), but my wife thought it would be
awkward (both sets of grandparents were at the CoH ... my ex-wife's & mine).
Again our situation as a little different, I have joint custody with my ex
and my son has spent a lot of time at both homes although he is currently
living with me full time. My wife thought that my son's biological parents
should receive the pins and should not necessarily go to the parents that
put in the most effort....and that is how we did it (he honored his
step-mom's request). I know both my wife & I were a little irked by the
fact that my ex was getting an Eagle Mom pin (you know how we feel about
ex's!!!), but putting myself in my son's shoes ... he loves all 3 of his
"parents" and wants their love & respect. My wife & I are very proud of our
son....and of course I wear my Eagle Dad tie-pin all the time :-)

YiS
Jim Holt
CC Troop259
Laurel, MD

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