Re: Rejected Scout
Michael Bowman (mfbowman@USSCOUTS.ORG)
Wed, 16 Dec 1998 00:22:06 -0500
There are always going to be parents in every community who have no
intention of contributing their "equal share" of support. Whether we like
it or not this is a fact of life. You've all seen it at work too, whether
it is a coffee pot that is always empty 'cause everyone else is too busy to
make a new one, a copier that always is out of paper with ten boxes of paper
right next to it, or tools that never get put back in the tool box. Not
everyone has the same priorities in life and some parents just are not going
to help without putting up some pretty stiff resistence.
We could have a whole separate discussion on how to entice, snare,
arm-twist, and cajole these people into helping a little a first and more
later.
However, I wanted to through in another thought instead. One thing that
does happen with too much frequency is that adults lose focus on what they
are there for. The give in to resentment, engage in negative comments about
the blood-sucking leeches that think we are babysitters, etc., become angry,
and otherwise poison the well. This does no real good for helping to having
a good quality program for the boys and worse the boys do know exactly what
is going on and being said. This anger and resentment also creates a wall
between people that is not productive. I've never seen anger and resentment
work to persuade a non-participating parent to become a cheerful and willing
helper ready to volunteer at the drop of a hat.
Much better to switch focus back to helping the boys to grow and look to see
what can be done with the resources that are available. Also much better to
glory in what can be done, to be happy with the folks that are giving it
their all, and to just be plumb tickled to get 10% out of the turnips that
normally can't be squeezed to give anything.
If a Pack's leadership can keep a postive, forward focus and not get
sidetracked with anger, resentment, and other unproductive matters, the
chances are that the boys are the ones who will chiefly benefit.
And years down the road how do these leaders want to be remembered? As
grumpy old poops that snarled about the shortcomings of others? or as a
person that was cheerful, energetic, and fun to be around, who always found
the good in others?
Mike
Mike Bowman a/k/a Professor Beaver (mfbowman@usscouts.org)
Webmastering in the Scouting Spirit from Alexandria, VA
http://usscouts.org http://members.aol.com/netcommish/
http://members.tripod.com/colonialdistrict
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Scouts-L Youth Group List [mailto:Scouts-L@listserv.tcu.edu]On
> Behalf Of NeilLup@AOL.COM
> Sent: Friday, December 11, 1998 10:16 AM
> To: SCOUTS-L@listserv.tcu.edu
> Subject: Re: Rejected Scout
>
>
> << They wanted a baby sitting service. >>
>
> Hello,
>
> Having read this rather painful thread about a boy rejected
> for membership
> because his parents wouldn't participate, I had this thought.
>
> We are in business to improve citizenship, character and
> fitness for youth.
> But in adult leader training, we are taught "No boy joins to have his
> character improved." He joins to have fun. And we use the
> lure of his having
> fun to train him in citizenship character and fitness.
>
> In the same spirit, if the parents have the boy join thinking
> we are a baby
> sitting service, so what? The kid is there and we can work on his
> citizenship, character and fitness. Does it matter why his
> parents brought
> him there.
>
> Or is the problem that WEEEE adults are angry that the
> parents put one over on
> us and WEEEEE are putting in the time and they aren't? Are
> we primarily
> involved to help youth for whatever reason they come, or is
> our principal goal
> keeping parental timecards to make sure that no parent is
> getting a free ride.
>
> I know that life isn't that simple and that many if not a
> majority of leaders
> really are in Scouting because of their children and their parental
> obligations and don't have a primary affiliation to the
> movement and its
> goals. But shouldn't those of us who do have a longer term
> affiliation bless
> the opportunity to work with the kid whose parents don't care
> and who probably
> needs us more?
>
> Just a thought of a Friday.
>
> Best wishes,
>
> Neil Lupton
>
