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Help with Parent/Scoutmaster Question
Murphy Peter (MurphyP@TCE.COM)
Mon, 28 Sep 1998 09:48:00 -0500
As my son's Scoutmaster, I know more about his daily behavior than
I do about other boys in the troop. Would I be out of line to say his
behavior at home does not "demonstrate ... living the Scout Oath
(Promise) and Scout Law in your everyday life" and thus delay his
advancement until he corrects his behavior?
He's 14 1/2 and is recently motivated to make another push to Eagle
before the rules change on April 1. He had a couple of false starts
on his Eagle project this past summer.
For a couple of years I have been concerned with his willful disobedience.
He will admit that he fully understands and remembers the rule or
instruction in question but he chose to ignore it because he didn't
like/agree
with the rule. I've explained the he does not have the right to unilaterally
decide which rules to obey. What upsets me the most is when he looks
me in the eye and says he will do something when he has no intention
to or when he's deceptive in trying to hide the fact that he's breaking a
rule. The one rule that gets the most attention is wearing a bicycle helmet.
I've tried talking with him and I've tried punishments to try to impress
upon
him that compliance and obedience to your parents is required at age 14.
I've said we can discuss things and maybe compromise but he can't just
decide on his own to be disobedient. It's quite possible I have not
demonstrated a willingness to compromise. I also understand a need for
a teen to start making his own decisions and learning responsibilities.
But to me making your own decisions is not the same as making your own
rules.
So now that he's expressed renewed interest in completing his Eagle,
I want to explain to him the importance of truthfulness and obedience
in demonstrating "living the Scout Law in your daily life". I also contend
that these qualities are important in demonstrating the maturity expected
of an Eagle Scout and an adult. I would propose a period of time over
which he would be required to demonstrate his understanding of these
principles by following the household rules before I would sign off
on that requirement for Eagle
What do you think?
Peter Murphy
murphyp@tce.com
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