I lost my temper....mea culpa (long)

I throw myself at the mercy of the list... and hope you'll give me an idea of
what I should do now, if anything.....

Last day of camp: Hot, tired, but a pretty darn good week. No SM in camp... he
hasn't camped with us for at least a year ( long story, but a good guy). I've
been the acting SM this week. Troop is cleaning up unit before commissioner
comes by to check us out. Problem child of the week, age 12, who is basically
a good kid but ADD-ish and prone to blaming everything on someone else, is
sitting at the fire ring doing nothing. All week he has been asked to stop
throwing rocks ("You never tell HIM to do anything! Why are you picking on
ME?") by the amazingly helpful and mature SPL or me ("Steve (the SPL) never
does anything! He's just throwing his weight around!") and has been
disciplined multiple times at Handicraft for GROSSLY unsafe knife behavior, at
waterfront for horseplay, and you get the idea. Multiple couselors asking me,
"What is WITH this kid?" Saying, "Now, Aloysius, we're not talking about Steve
(or Bob or Carl or Paul or the whole rest of the human race) now, we're
talking about your throwing rocks/nearly cutting Bobby's arm/pushing people
off the raft..." or "I talk to Bobby/Steve/Carl/Paul about their actions,
right now I'm talking to you about yours (specifics)" is met with more "But
so-and-so did thus-and-such," and he NEVER acknowledges or owns his actions.

Etc, etc, etc.

Two requests to get back to the tenting area and help his tentmate (APL) clean
up all (his) candy wrappers and sweep the tent floor. Him: "You never ask
anyone ELSE to..."
Me: "Aloysius, everyone else has cleaned up their tents already without being
asked. Go and clean your tent, please."
A: Whine, refuse
Me: (Strongly) "Aloysius, I'm going to put this load in the vehicle. When I
come back, I want to see you at your tent cleaning it up. I am tired of this
act, I have had entirely enough, and I am getting mad. "
When I return, he is at the tenting area, but sitting at the table with his
pack on, whining, watching his tentmate finish their tent.
Me: "OK, Aloysius, take the cot out and sweep the floor."
Tentmate APL, age 12: "It's OK, Mrs. H, I'll finish it." (he has already
helped pack up troop gear, library & dining fly, picked up ALL the candy
wrappers, and started with the tent, all of which without being asked once to
do anything)
Me: "No, Jeremiah, thank you, but he needs to do his share."
Aloysius: "You never make anybody else..." and that's as far as he got,
because I grabbed his shoulders, stood him up, took off his backpack, put the
broom in his hand, and turned him in the direction of his tent., with some
loud words about how I didn't want to hear it anymore.
Stunned response from a few, mostly "It's about time" looks from the others,
especially the very long-suffering SPL. Aloysius takes broom in one hand (has
a muffin in the other) and takes about twenty minutes to sweep out 8x8 tent
floor, an inch and a half at a time, holding up the troop, the commissioner,
and everyone else.

I go off to deeply regret having laid hands on him, while simulataneously
trying not to congratulate myself for strangling him on the spot. While
beating off the SPL and half the troop from assisting.

I thought about assembling everybody before retreat to say something like,
"Sometimes when you try to do your best you don't do as well as you want to.
I'm sorry I lost my temper and I will try to do my best not to let it happen
again." Circumstances conspired against our having an opportunity to do so
before we all left, but I did say it to the kid in his mother's presence. God
bless her, this woman has the patience of a saint with this child, and
recognizes his unique abilities to do some things wonderfully and PISS PEOPLE
OFF in others; she said pointedly, "Aloysius, do you have something you need
to apologise for to Mrs. H.?" Blank look.. like, huh? He finally said,
"Sorry," but I really think he didn't have a clue as to what for.

So my question: Do I
1) Submit my resignation for resorting to physical actions in a moment of
heat?
2) Stop being so hard on myself and try to forget it even though I know the
boys won't?
3) Bring it up in Sept when the troop restarts?
4) Apologise again to his parents (who are wonderful people and wake up each
day saying "Today will be different" with this boy <G> Really. )
5) Or...?

On or off-list, whatever you wish...
YiS
Auntie Beans
SA T44 Pocasset MA
Cape Cod & Islands Council
Abake MiSaNaKi Lodge #393
NSJ 1997 Nat'l Health & Safety
I useta be an Eagle...
'The staff is old and feeble, and we can sing no more,
So we're getting out of Gilwell while we can!'
NEI-188
<wahowland@aol.com>

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