Re: Push-ups and Hazing, etc.
Lois Stewart (Loisanel@DICKSONSTREET.COM)
Thu, 23 Jul 1998 20:55:59 -0500
NO! Your troop is not strange. In a true "meeting of minds", punishments
have no place. As you noted, Punishment is a means of establishing and
demonstrating control of an individual and as such has no place in a Scout
Troop.
Also, in response to the other letters in this thread, let me explain
something. When Used Correctly (let me say again, When Used Correctly),
timeout is not a punishment and will teach self discipline to a child.
Correct use is something similar to the following:
When a child is becoming disruptive to a group or activity, he should be
told specifically what he is doing which is not acceptable and why it is
unacceptable. ("Johnny, stop tapping your feet, the noise is disturbing.")
("Boys, please don't talk to each other while the speaker is talking, it
is considered rude behavior.") Often the child doesn't realize what he is
doing until you point it out to him. "Leave the other kids alone" is not
specific enough. A child cannot leave the others completely alone and
still be a part of the group.
If the behavior continues, the group leader has two options to use
depending on the age and self control of the child. For the younger child,
the 1, 2, 3 method works great. State your request again, then say
1.....2.....3, with l-o-n-g pauses between the numbers. This gives the
child time to respond and discipline himself. Note: I said "discipline
himself." He is learning self-control. If he should succeed, the leader
should say "Thank you", then continue with the activity.
If the child cannot bring himself under control, then the leader should
take him by the hand and lead him to a place apart from the group. The
purpose of this "time out" is not to punish, but to remove him from the
stimulation of the group so that he can get himself under control. That
should be stated plainly to him when he is led out of the group. (Johnny,
let's get you away for a minute so that you can calm down.) Once out of the
group, he should be told, "When you are calmer, and can keep yourself under
control, you may rejoin the group." Note: there is no set time for this
"time out", the child himself is to decide when he is able to rejoin the
group. In time, the child will learn to recognize when he is losing
control and will remove himself from the group when necessary. (Of course,
at the same time, the leader will be learning patience :^) )
Of course, the older boys, pre-teens and teens, would be very insulted if
you applied the "1, 2, 3, time out" method to them. But a variation of it
is in use everywhere. It is the "three warnings" method, and it's purpose
is still to teach self-discipline.
Warning 1 is a statement of what is wrong with the boy's behavior. If the
boy corrects himself after one warning, nothing more is ever said, he has
disciplined himself.
Warning 2 requires some counseling to see if the boy understands what is
wrong and how to correct his behavior. Some teaching may be needed, but
not punishment.
If Warning 3 is reached, there are some serious problems in that child's
life. This is a state of active rebellion and John may need to decide if he
really wants to be part of the group. Again, time out is probably the best
answer. (John, would you please leave the group until you are willing to
abide by the rules?) (Unless he is really working on the problem and this
is just a "slip backwards". - That just requires a reminder.)
At all points and all ages the message to the boys should be the same:
Self-control is important. You are responsible for your behavior. You
can learn to control your actions.
Lois Stewart
Springdale, Ark
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