Re: Hazing and Safe Haven
Neil Lupton (NeilLup@AOL.COM)
Wed, 22 Jul 1998 17:27:03 -0400
In a message dated 7/22/98 3:56:02 PM, jcruse@SOCKET.NET wrote:
<<The gist, however, is put simply: there are too many places in the lives of
young men and women that are unsafe, home included in some instances. Den,
Pack, Troop, Crew, and post meetings and activities should not be part of
these. We should make all of our meetings and activities a place where
youth want to be, because they are safe from the rest of world.>>
Hello,
I concur with what Jason and others have said about singing to have items
returned being inappropriate in today's Scouting.
There is another factor which causes me feel this way. Virtually all of the
"pro singing" responses seem to me to carry the implication that the writer, a
thoughtful, concerned adult, would make the decision on an individual basis
depending on the needs and characteristics of the individual Scout. However,
once the culture is established in a troop that this type of activity is
acceptable and the example has been set, then thoughtful, concerned adult is
not necessarily in control. An item may be lost and a boy made to sing when
only other adults are around, or even when no adults are around.
Teaching junior leaders to be thoughtful and considerate is difficult enough
under when the rules are clear -- if there is any possible that your actions
will cause someone's feelings will be hurt, don't do it. I would be
terrified trying to teach junior leaders to make the judgement that it is OK
to make boy A sing, because he can take it but you can't make boy B sing
because he can't take it. I was a little sadist as a junior leader (some
individuals think I still am.) Even if my SM had given me that kind of
instruction, I would not have been capable of following it.
Of course, you could say that junior leader X can make boys sing but junior
leader Y can't. But then you need to tell the junior leaders why and that
could be a tough conversation. Particularly if you trust this year's SPL to
make the decision, but then don't trust next year's SPL. Or you could say
that you only can make the boys sing if an adult approves or even if the SM
approves, but then the why question appears again. If it is such an innocent
and fun thing, why does it need adult approval. And if it isn't an innocent
and fun thing, why do we do it for anyone. Presumably, there is some
punishment element to needing to sing to get something back. If the only boys
who have sing to get things back are boys who are such extroverts that they
enjoy clowning in front of the group then where is the punishment?
I was on a Wood Badge staff which debated this matter heatedly for a half hour
before concluding that there were too many ways to lose and virtually no way
to win with this kind of activity. However, we considered it a very valuable
discussion because it made us clarify in our own minds exactly how careful one
needed to be with Safe Haven.
Neil Lupton
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City |
