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What do you say when...

Jan Mussler (mussler@SPOT.COLORADO.EDU)
Fri, 29 May 1998 08:52:06 -0600


This has happened to me twice now, so I'll bring it up to the list to see
what you guys would do and say in this situation.

One of my Bear Scouts dad offered to help me with the Bears in the fall
right after his son joined. Not one to turn down help, I said sure. He
wanted to go right out and get a leader's shirt and made a point to tell
me he used to work at a kid's camp. I said he'd need to do training, and
well, he helped at one meeting (got pretty frustrated with boy behavior)
and he's only helped since when he showed up early to pick his son up.
The words "training" turned him off apparently. (He might be just a
little flaky too, IMHO.)

Well, this kid's mom and dad are getting divorced this Spring and guess
who show's up to the meeting yesterday? Mom and her new boyfriend. She
proceeds to tell me that "boyfriend" is an Life and Eagle Scout.
"Boyfriend" shows LOTS of interest in Scout's project (we're making radios
which is pretty impressive) and makes several comments to me how he could
"get into this", He could "really shakes things up" (maybe I'm sexist but
in the past I've taken this to mean they aren't thrilled seeing a female
leader). HOWEVER, "boyfriend" has alcohol on his breath in the middle of
the afternoon, disregarding the fact that he's a typical "mountain"
dresser - rather unkempt.

This time, I made a couple of benign comments since I was pretty overtaxed
with this radio project. Like - well, this can be addicting work. and
"well, this summer the parents are each hosting a meeting and perhaps you
could plan one of those."

What would you guys have done? What should I do if he pursues this? I
HATE to turn down help, but red flags go up that this guy could create
some conflict. I do have a co-leader for next year already. The CM
stepped down and back into the Den leader role, with the intention that we
will split the postion and still use parental help to fill in.

YIS,

Jan Mussler, Webelos Den Leader, Pack 170
Nederland, CO - Long's Peak Council
Arapahoe District

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