quotes, #2 of 3
Thomas C. Petrik (EC92@AOL.COM)
Thu, 19 Jun 1997 00:05:56 -0400
I forgot on part one, anyone claims they got them from me and I will deny it.
There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth. -
Leo Tolstoy
Intelligence is the effort to do the best you can at your particular job. -
J.C. Penney
We still do not know one-thousandth of one percent of what nature has
revealed to us.
- Albert Einstein
In general, mankind, since the improvement of cookery, eats twice as much as
nature requires. - Benjamin Franklin
The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes
an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is. - C.S. Lewis
Nurture your mind with great thoughts. - Benjamin Disraeli
Youth is the opportunity to do something and be somebody. - Sir Walter
Raleigh
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Seems like every time history repeats itself the price doubles.
To do great important tasks, two things are necessary: a plan and not quite
enough time.
One who makes no mistakes, never makes anything. - English Proverb
Dare to dream - dare to try - dare to fail - dare to succeed. - G. Kinsley
Ward
A weed is no more than a flower in disguise. - James R. Lowell
Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent. -
Jean Kerr
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered
French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright
Money may buy friendship but money cannot buy love.
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape
of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I
had to buy them again. - Steven Wright
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they
wouldn't have to go so fast. - Steven Wright
I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires
backwards. I erased all of the records. When I returned them to my friend,
he said, "Hey, these records are all blank." -Steven Wright
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He
caught every other fish. -Steven Wright
I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. -Steven
Wright
I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said,
"It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything today.
-Steven Wright
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy. -Steven
Wright
The purpose of coaching is to get into the position to delegate.
Doing your best means never stop trying.
We can choose to throw stones, to stumble on them, to climb over them, or to
build with them - William Authur Ward.
A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
No use crying over spilled water under a burned bridge.
why ask why!
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and
drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer is you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
How does the guy that drives the snow plow get to work in the mornings?
If a 7-11 is open 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year, why have locks on the door?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out it's nose?
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height,
what would happen?
If you're in a car traveling at the speed of light, what happens when you
turn your headlights on?
You know most packages say "open here" what is the protocol if the package
says "open somewhere else"?
Why do they put braille dots on the keypads of drive up ATMs?
Why do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways?
Why is it if you transport something by car, it's called shipment, but if you
transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that indestructible little "black box" that is used on
airplanes--why can't the
whole plane be made of the same substance?
Why is it when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the volume
on the
radio down?
END OF WHY ASK WHY!
An inventor fails 999 times, and if he succeeds once, he's in. He treats
failures simply as practice shots. - Charles Kettering
He who wants milk should not sit on a stool in the middle of the pasture
expecting the cow to back up to him.
Reputation: What others are not thinking about you.
I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead.
You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling
noise go by. -Steven Wright
Ever notice how irons have a setting for "permanent" press? I don't get
it...
-Steven Wright
What this country needs is a dime that will buy a good five-cent bagel.
Simon's Law: Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City | 
