#3 of 3, and I will still deny it.
Thomas C. Petrik (EC92@AOL.COM)
Thu, 19 Jun 1997 00:06:05 -0400
"This is the true joy in life, the being used up for a purpose recognized by
yourself as a mighty one;
the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish, little clod of
ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to
making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the community, and as
long as as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die,
for the harder I work the more I live.
I rejoice in life for its own sake.
Life is no 'brief candle' to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for a
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before
handing it on to future generations."
I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there.
-Steven Wright
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you
see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."
-Steven Wright
Murphy's Corollary: It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools
are so ingenious.
Everything east of the San Andreas fault will eventually plunge into the
Atlantic Ocean.
A penny saved is not worth very much.
Every solution breeds new problems.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Where you stand on an issue depends on where you sit.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
The other line always moves faster.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
If it jams, FORCE IT. If it breaks, it needed REPLACING anyway.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Murphy's Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
You will always find something in the last place you look.
Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response. - Mildred
Barthel
LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: V. Any program will expand to fill available
memory.
Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly takes a
genius.
Mark Twain's Postulate: Always do right. This will gratify some people, and
admonish the rest.
The first law of debate: Never argue with a fool - people might not know the
difference.
The Second Theory of Relativity: If your parents didn't have children, odds
are you won't either.
If you don't know what an identity crisis is, just try to cash a check in a
strange town.
As a financier, you might say that old Noah was vastly underrated. After
all, he floated his stock while everyone else was being liquidated.
Despite inflation, a penny for some people's thoughts is still a fair price.
To lose control of your car, just teach your children how to drive.
Let no man imagine that he has no influence. - Henry George
Life is uncharted territory. It reveals its story one moment at a time. -
Leo Buscaglia
Wisdom often consists of knowing what to do next. - Herbert Hoovel
No matter what accomplishments you achieve, somebody helps you. -Atthea
Gibson
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment
somewhere. -Steven Wright
Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote
programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.
The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in
their right mind would park in the passing lane?" -Steven Wright
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was
locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours."
He said, "Yes, but not in a row." -Steven Wright
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. -Steven Wright
The cost of feathers has risen... Now even down is up!
Basic is a high level languish.
"If we do not find anything pleasant, at least we shall find something new"
-Voltaire
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no class. (author
unknown)
Opening night: the night before the play is ready to open.
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I
said, "No, I made a few mistakes." -Steven Wright
I must follow them; I am their leader. - Andrew Bonar Law
"The main thing is to keep the main thing the Main Thing." -- Covey
Leadership Center
This will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the
brave. -Elmer Davis
'The hope of democracy depends on the diffusion of knowledge'
Ideas are like children. There are none so wonderful as your own.
Marvel as each day flows
Swiftly through our lives;
As we travel through time,
Music makes us whole
Franz Douskey
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City | 
