Shaggy dog story
Dan OCanna (ocanna@ALPHA.CAER.UKY.EDU)
Thu, 19 Dec 1996 11:32:49 -0500
For all you shaggy dog story fans here's one from the ASM in our
troop who is so fond of such humor that when someone asks, "Got a
match?", the reply is "Mr. Olson's jokes for an acre of corn!"
A panda bear escapes from the zoo and is forced to live on his own.
It turns out that he really enjoys eating in nice resturants, but
of course being a panda with no job and no money he is unable to
pay his bill. Being, also, an exceptionally intelegent panda he
devises a scheme that lets him eat in any resturant he wishes.
One day he decides to try a particularly nice resturant but when
he asks the maitre d' for a table he's told, "I've hear about you.
Your the panda that never pays for his meal. We won't seat you
here." So, the panda leaves the resturant and sits on a bench
across the street from the resturant and contemplates his empty
tummy.
Some while later the panda sees the maitre d' leave the resturant.
The panda goes back and asks the assistant maitre d' for a table,
and is seated by the assistant who has never heard about the panda's
tricks. The panda has a wonderfull meal. (At this point
you may "shaggy dog" this story as much as you like, or the
audience will bear. Give details about the wonderfull meal the
panda enjoys)
Just as he finshes desert the panda is aproched by the maitre d'
who has returned to discover the assistant maitre d's mistake.
When the maitre d' demands payment the panda pulls a gun,
shoots the maitre d' and starts to leave. The assistant maitre d'
stops the panda and asks, "Where do you think you are going?"
"I'm leaving."
"You can't leave!"
"Sure I can."
"No you can't!"
At which point the panda produces the encyclopedia voulme "P", opens
it and tells the assistant, "Read this."
The assistant maitre d' reads aloud: "Panda, an animal indigenous to
China that EATS, SHOOTS and LEAVES."
While you recover from that please visit my web page. It's still quite
simple but it expresses the holiday sentiment.
http://members.aol.com/danocanna/xmas.htm
Best wishes of the season to all:
Dan O'Canna Lexington, Kentucky
mailto: ocanna@alpha.caer.uky.edu
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