Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Oh boy! I pity you. Definitely more than a handful there. How would I
know? I've got one. Oppositional Defiant Disorder is often confused with
ADHD. In some cases the child can have both. Oppositional Defiant
Disorder, well it is rather obvious what it is. The child refuses to do
what he's told, when he's told, how he's told. Whether or not he should be
able to control his behavior is something I've never thought about. In my
case my son (eight) has it. And, he's very bright. So, he will find ways
around what I say. He will follow what I say to the letter, but not to the
intention. Me being the kind of person who likes to have everything under
control, this definitely irritates the heck out of me. How to cope with
it...I'd love to help you with that one. I have found bribery works rather
well.

Doesn't that sound terrible? It comes down to, if he behaves at school all
week and doesn't get into any trouble he gets to pick the family game or
movie on the weekend. For a scout, I'd suggest he could lead the song at
campfire. Which would give him the opportunity to pick the song. Sometimes
the only way to deal with the behavior is to stop something and take him
home (or for a scout, send him home.) More than once I've said we're
leaving NOW. The incredulous looks when I leave a grocery cart half full
are amazing. Then we go home. And, I don't go shopping until tomorrow. If
that means peanut butter sandwiches for dinner, we'll survive. The point
is, this child will constantly fight you for control over every little
thing. If you tell him to do A first then B, he'll do B first then A. And,
in the case of mine gloat about it afterwards.

I believe my sister had the same thing. Only back then we didn't have these
fancy labels. She finally outgrew it when she left home. So, there is
hope. Once they get on their own, they have to adjust their behavior to
survive. You can't get and keep a job if you are constantly trying to be
the boss. Good luck.

Dee

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