"How cold is it?" -- very funny junk mail

This came off a newsgroup for upstae NY. Please note -60 and -80 degree
scouting references....I always new Girl Scouts ere tougher than Boy Scouts
(enormous grin)....
I found this very humorous, so enjoy!

Lynn Whited

news:4f7tor$71l@news.bu.edubmac@bu.edu (Brendon
McNamara) wrote:
>
>---------- Forwarded message ----------
> HOW COLD IS IT?
> An annotated thermometer
> (degrees Fahrenheit, then Celsius)
>
> +50 / +10
> * New York tenants turn on the heat
> * Wisconsinites plant gardens
>
> +40 / +4
> * Californians shiver uncontrollably
> * Wisconsinites sunbathe
>
> +35 / +2
> * Italian cars don't start
>
> +32 / 0
> * Distilled water freezes
>
> +30 / -1
> * You can see your breath
> * You plan a vacation in Florida
> * Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
> * Wisconsinites eat ice cream
>
> +25 / -4
> * Boston water freezes
> * Californians weep pitiably
> * Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you
>
> +20 / -7
> * Cleveland water freezes
> * San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA
> * Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts
>
> +15 / -10
> * You plan a vacation in Acapulco
> * Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
> * Wisconsinites go swimming
>
> +10 / -12
> * Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
> * Too cold to snow
> * You need jumper cables to get the car going
>
> 0 / -18
> * New York landlords turn on the heat
> * Sheboygan brats grilled on the patio, yum!
>
> -5 / -21
> * You can hear your breath
> * You plan a vacation in Hawaii
>
> -10 / -23
> * American cars don't start
> * Too cold to skate
>
> -15 / -26
> * You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
> * Miamians cease to exist
> * Wisconsinites lick flagpoles
>
> -20 / -29
> * Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
> * Politicians actually do something about the homeless
> * People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens
>
> -25 / -32
> * Too cold to kiss
> * You need jumper cables to get the driver going
> * Japanese cars don't start
> * Milwaukee Brewers head for spring training
>
> -30 / -34
> * You plan a two-week hot bath
> * Pilsener freezes
> * Bock beer production begins
> * Wisconsinites shovel snow off roof
>
> -38 / -39
> * Mercury freezes
> * Too cold to think
> * Wisconsinites button top button
>
> -40 / -40
> * Californians disappear
> * Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
> * Wisconsinites put on sweaters
>
> -50 / -46
> * Congressional hot air freezes
> * Alaskans close the bathroom window
> * Green Bay Packers practice indoors
>
> -60 / -51
> * Walruses abandon Aleutians
> * Sign on Mount St. Helens: "Closed for the Season"
> * Wisconsinites put gloves away, take out mittens
> * Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
>
> -70 / -57
> * Glaciers in Central Park
> * Hudson residents replace diving boards with hockey
>nets
> * Green Bay snowmobilers organize trans-lake race to
>Sault Ste. Marie
>
> -80 / -62
> * Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
> * Rhinelander Birkebeiner
> * Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
>
> -90 / -68
> * Edge of Antarctica reaches Rio de Janeiro
> * Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
> * Minnesotans migrate to Wisconsin thinking it MUST be
>warmer
>
> -100 / -73
> * Santa Claus abandons North Pole
> * Wisconsinites pull down earflaps
>
> -173 / -114
> * Ethyl alcohol freezes
> * Only Door County cherries usable in brandy Manhattans
>
> -297 / -183
> * Oxygen precipitates out of atmosphere
> * Microbial life survives only on dairy products
>
> -445 / -265
> * Superconductivity
>
> -452 / -269
> * Helium becomes a liquid
>
> -454 / -270
> * Hell freezes over
>
> -456 / -271
> * Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90
>
> -458 / -272
> * Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution
>
> -460 / -273 (Absolute Zero)
> * All atomic motion ceases
> * Wisconsinites allow as to how it's getting a mite
>nippy
>
>
>------------------------------
>
>"Jokes are grievances."
>
>Marshall McLuhan (1911-80), Canadian communications
>theorist. Remark, June
>1969, at American Booksellers Association luncheon,
>Washington, D.C. Quoted
>in: Sun (Vancouver, 7 June 1969).
>
>
>
> \\|//
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